Chapter 239
It had been two weeks since they since the nightmare that nearly led to me overdosing. Four days
of that time had been spent in hospital being slowly and painfully withdrawn from the medication
before the Doctor stopped giving it to me altogether.
The rest of the time, I had spent wallowing at home in a whole lot of misery. I’d moved on from the
initial overwhelming flood of emotions and now everything felt sort of…unreal. My mind was a fog
of confusion filled with hallucinations and fear, the world some strange reflection of reality and my
emotions anything from spiralling depression to nothing at all.
The Doctor’s said it was normal after withdrawal from benzos but that didn’t help my desperation to
just feel normal again.
I was out in the forest, laying amongst the leaves on the forest floor, staring up through the
branches at the folds of charcoal cloud, rolling across the sky in their thick fleets of grey. The air had
turned to a bitter chill and the once gentle breeze had whipped up to the early blows of a gale. Even
down on the sheltered ground, loose wisps of my hair danced at the edges of my face.
The crows and ravens had left their roosting perches in the trees to patrol the skies, painting endless
feathery circles in the darkest of inks. They croaked and screamed and cried and shrieked, usurping
the final signs of peace from the forest.
Soon enough, a single drop of rain fell onto my forehead and dripped down the bridge of my nose.
I felt the smoothness of its movement and closed my eyes as another fell onto my cheek and then
my hand and then my foot.
“Ella,” a voice said from a few metres away.
I reopened my eyes to see Leo stood, his hair blowing in the wind and a soft expression on his lips.
It’d been nearly all day since I left the house for what was meant to be a short walk so I had no
reason to be surprised that he’d come to find me now.
“There’s a storm coming,” he told me.
“I know,” I sighed.
“Let me take you home,” he replied walking closer.
“No,” I said. “I want to feel the rain. I want to feel something real.”
I closed my eyes again and for a few moments, neither of us said a thing.
When I heard his footsteps approach me, I opened my eyes expecting him to coerce me to my feet.
But then he simply sat down and then lay next to me.
“Then let me feel it with you,” he said.
I smiled and my hand made my way to his as the droplets fell on us.
We must have laid there for half an hour. The rain slowly got heavier until it was pelting down, at
which point we decided to go in.
We raced towards the house, hand in hand, the rain lashing us. When we got through the door into
the warm house I let out a laugh at the sight of Leo. He was totally drenched to the skin.
He smiled, “I don’t know what your laughing at. You should see your hair.”
He then headed living room, dripping as he went before returning with a blanket.
He wrapped it around me and brushed the wet strands of hair out of my eyes.
“Real enough for you?” he asked.
I nodded.
“How about a nice warm fire?”
“That would be lovely.”
Half an hour later, we had escaped our squelching clothes and snuggled in warm blankets in front
of a crackling fire.
“I think things are finally getting better,” I said as I lay with my head rested on his chest as he gently
played with my hair.
“Oh yeah?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Life is bearable again,” I replied.
“That’s the best news I’ve ever heard.”
I took his hand and squeezed, “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I know this has been hard for
you too but you’ve been so understanding and patient. And you always say the right things and
know how to comfort me.”
“What else would I have done?” he asked. “I’m your mate. I was just doing whatever I could to help
you.”
“I know. It’s what you’ve always done so thank you,” I said. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replied kissing my head.
I rested my head back onto his chest and watched the flickering flames on the hearth. They were so
warming and relaxing that I found myself slipping into a soft sleep in a matter of minutes.