Chapter 125
0125 (Alpha Brady POV) Life at Black Moon has not been the same without Lily. I miss her smile, her laugh… just her presence. around me. I am kicking myself for letting her go. How could I get angry with her for what happened between her and James, knowing personally how hard it is to ignore the mate bond? How could I then go a step further and give her the silent treatment and angrily accuse her of sleeping with him, as though I had the right to control her? I know I felt hurt and betrayed, but Lily did not want to see James in the first place, and she ultimately left Hawaii with me and not him. Surely, those two things meant something; I should have recognized that and handled my fears and concerns better than how I did. Instead, I let Lily feel like I wanted her to be Evelyn’s replacement. What an idiot I was. When she seemed fixated on how similar she and Evelyn looked, why did I not take the time to explain the differences between them? Or at least explain why I feel so strongly for Lily? > Worse, when we came back from Hawaii, why did I let two weeks go by without personally checking on and talking to her? d very w I made so. many, mistakes. And now, she be in danger. The intelligence indicated that our enemies knew that Lily was at Black Moon. I pray to the Moon Goddess that they did not somehow find her as she left. I also pray that she will reach out to me soon to let me know that she is doing okay. The night that I discovered that she was gone, I carried through with my initial instinct of firing every last guard who had been tasked with her security. That meant letting go a total of 18 officers. I also alpha- ordered them not to discuss Lily, her disappearance, or anything having to do with her with anyone. | The more that time goes on, I wonder if I went far enough. Most alphas try to avoid using alpha orders/ commands except in all but the most serious situations. The weight of the command can do a number on wolves with weaker constitutions, who are pregnant, or who are dealing with certain health conditions. Using the command to force a wolf to NOT do something is generally considered to be much easier on a body than using the command to affirmatively get a wolf to do or say something. Prolonged use of an alpha command -for example, during an interview- can require a couple of days of rest for a strong wolf, and a couple of days of hospitalization for a weaker one. As a result, overusing the alpha command is a quick way to alienate members of your pack. Even so, a part of me wonders if I should have gone ahead and interviewed my security team while they were under one. It is difficult for me to believe my security team truly could have been so incompetent to not notice when Lily left, and to not become concerned when she did not come out of her room for two believe that they were that incompetent than to believe that one or more of them intentionally loosened security or turned the other cheek in order to make it easier for our enemies. ou could If my instinct is right, that would also explain how the enemies learned not only about Lily, but more importantly about Rose. Lily and I were really careful about when and where she shifted, and you only see the special mark on Rose if you were within somewhat close range. For the enemies to know about it tells me that there is a leak somewhere. I do not want to believe that the leak is within my own pack, but what if it is?
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