Chapter 261

Kieran:
I watched as her eyes widened instantly, that flicker of shock flashing across her delicate features like a ripple over still water. Confusion followed just as quickly, softening her brows, making her look like she was trying to fit together puzzle pieces that didn’t belong to the same set.
Her lips parted… just slightly… as though she wanted to ask something, but no words came out. The silence stretched between us, and I let myself take it in.
A genuine smile broke across my lips before I could stop it. And the moment she caught it, her confusion shifted to suspicion.
“You are making fun of me, aren’t you?” she demanded, tilting her head the slightest bit while narrowing her beautiful amber eyes at me.
I didn’t deny it… but I didn’t confirm it either. Truth was, I wasn’t making fun of her. Not entirely.
Instead, I nodded toward the chair across from my desk. “Sit.”
She hesitated, clearly unsure where this was going, but she moved, settling into the seat. I didn’t take my usual place behind the desk. Instead, I pulled out the second chair and sat beside her, turning fully so I could face her.
I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to know the pieces of me I rarely gave away. But the risk of saying the wrong thing – something that might make her withdraw from me – was a leash I couldn’t quite slip.
Silence returned as both of just sat there, seemingly lost in our own thoughts. I didn’t even dare to look at her more than just a few seconds now that we weren’t speaking.
She was so close to me, that if I raised my hand, I would have been able to touch her. The need to do it was right there… almost making me breathless. But I held myself back from making that mistake.
I curled my fingers, letting my nails dig into the flesh of my palm and feel that sting to pull myself together.
Then she spoke. Her voice was soft, warm, and impossibly steady. “If you trust me enough, you can tell me what’s bothering you, Professor. I… might not be able to fix it, but I can at least listen.”
That was my undoing.
How could I hold back when she looked at me like that? Like I actually mattered to her?
I drew a slow breath, weighing each word before I let it out. “During last summer break… I found my mate.”
I caught the flicker in her eyes – surprise, and maybe something else – but I pressed on.
“It’s been seven years since I turned sixteen. Seven years without even a hint. Then, that one summer night… I finally found her.” I swallowed hard, the memory like a ghost that both haunted and warmed me. “But I lost her just as quickly. I was… too intoxicated. The place was too dark. I didn’t see her face, not clearly… or I just couldn’t recall it. By the time I woke in the morning, she was gone.”
Eva stayed still, but I could feel her listening. Every ounce of her attention was locked on me.
“I searched for her,” I continued. “The hotel’s CCTV had been damaged by someone. The surrounding area cameras… my men found nothing helpful in them. There was no one who fit. The registration desk didn’t have anything useful either. It was like she had never existed at all.” I laughed softly, but it was hollow. “Six months of searching. Nothing. And now… the hope is just… slipping away.”
She blinked at me, visibly taken aback by the rawness in my tone. Then… hesitantly… her hand lifted. She hovered for a moment, almost pulling back, but finally rested it over mine on the desk.
She then gave me a soft pat. Just enough for me to feel the warmth of her skin before she withdrew.
“Since the Moon Goddess chose her for you,” she said carefully, “then you’ll meet her again. Maybe not right away, but… I think it’s just a matter of time.”
Her certainty should have felt naive, but somehow… it didn’t.
A smile pulled at my mouth before I could stop it, even as the ache in my chest remained. My wolf had been distant for days now – silent, withdrawn. And still, just hearing her say those words loosened something in me.
She studied me for a moment, then asked, “Is this why you have been down lately? Did another search fail?”
I should have nodded. I should have said yes. That would have been the safe answer.
But I didn’t.
I shook my head, and before I could second-guess it, the words slipped out. “No. It’s… because I think I have developed feelings for someone else.”
Her lips parted again, and her eyes went wide in shock as she stared at me as if I had started speaking in another language.
“Now you see what’s killing me from the inside,” I continued, “Not only I’m constantly failing to find my mate… but I have already betrayed her by falling for someone else.”
She cleared her throat, looking as if she was struggling to wrap her head around my confession. But when she spoke, she didn’t call me out for my betrayal. Instead…
“Have you confessed your feelings to… this girl?”
I shook my head. “I can’t… she only sees me as… a friend?” Saying it out loud, it hurt more than just knowing it in my heart.
Her eyes darted to the fireplace for a moment. She was clearly choosing her next words carefully. Then, she looked back at me. “I’m sorry, Professor. I really… don’t know what to say. I can’t possibly tell you to leave your mate, neither I can tell you to give up on your feelings for that other girl. I… I don’t know what-”
“It’s okay, Evaline.” I cut her off when I noticed how badly she was struggling to say the right thing. “I just wanted someone to hear me. As for how to deal with this… situation of mine… I seemed to have found a way.”