Chapter 192

Elara’s POV

Blood and rust. That was all I could taste.

My tongue found the split in my lower lip. The copper flooded fresh and warm across my teeth. Somewhere beneath my left arm, something ground against something else—bone on bone, a white-hot wire of agony threading through my ribs every time I inhaled.

The sand was red beneath my boots. Some of it his. Most of it mine.

The warehouse crowd roared like a living thing, countless throats fused into one relentless, hungry scream. They wanted more. They always wanted more.

My opponent circled to my left. Massive. Shoulders like a bull. His knuckles were split and dark with my blood. He was grinning—a wide, cruel grin that said he already knew how this ended. Little woman on the sand. Broken little woman who couldn’t stay down.

He looked at me the way they all looked at me.

Like I was already dead.

Years.

The thought came unbidden. Not a memory. A weight. A black, suffocating mass that lived behind my sternum and never, ever let me breathe.

Years of silence. Years of swallowing every scream, every sob, every howl that clawed at the inside of my throat and found no exit. Years of turning it all inward until the pressure cracked me from the inside out. Years of feeding myself to the dark just to keep standing.

I was not going to die here. Not for this crowd. Not on this sand. Not for anyone.

He swung.

A wide, arcing hook aimed at my temple. Predictable. He telegraphed everything—weight shifting to his front foot, shoulder dropping, elbow flaring out.

I ducked.

His fist whistled over my head. I came up inside his guard and drove my right hand into his jaw with everything I had. The impact shuddered up through my wrist, my forearm, my shoulder. His head snapped sideways. Spit and blood flew from his mouth in a thin red arc.

Before he could recover, I pivoted and slammed my left fist into his ribs. I felt it—the give. Cartilage buckling. Maybe bone. A wet, muffled crunch that vibrated through my knuckles.

He staggered. Dropped his guard for a moment.

I brought my knee up into his face.

His nose exploded. A fountain of red sprayed across the sand, across my leg, across the front rows of screaming spectators. He lurched backward, hands rising too late to protect what was already broken.

I didn’t stop.

Three shots to his exposed ribs. Left-right-left. Fast. Hard. Each one landing with a sound like a mallet hitting wet wood. Then I wound up and drove my fist into the underside of his chin. His teeth cracked together. His eyes rolled.

Pain detonated through my left side. He’d caught me—a desperate, swinging blow to my shoulder that drove straight through to the fracture in my ribs. My vision whited out. For one terrible second, the world was nothing but agony and the roar of the crowd and the taste of blood in my mouth.

Years of shattering in silence.

I breathed through it. Found him through the blur.

I aimed for the solar plexus. My fist sank deep into the soft space below his sternum. All the air left his body in a single, wretched gasp. He folded forward.

Left hook to the liver. He buckled sideways.

Right straight to the jaw. His head whipped back.

Elbow across his temple. The crack was obscene.

Knee into his thigh. His leg gave out beneath him.

He stumbled. Caught himself. Swayed on his feet like a drunk man trying to find the horizon.

The referee stepped between us, one arm out. He crouched slightly, peering into my opponent’s swollen, bloodied face.

“Can you continue?”

A nod. Barely perceptible. Stupid. Brave and stupid.

The referee stepped back.

My opponent came at me with everything he had left—a lumbering, desperate charge, both fists swinging wild. The crowd screamed. The lanterns swayed overhead, casting lurching shadows across the sand.

I sidestepped. Easy. Like breathing. Like dying.

He stumbled past me, momentum carrying him forward. I planted my feet and drove both fists into his kidneys. One. Two. Each punch carrying the full rotation of my hips, the full weight of my broken, burning body.

He went down.

Face-first into the sand. Arms splayed. Still.

The referee dropped to one knee beside him.

“One!”

The crowd held its breath.

“Two!”

My hands hung at my sides. Blood dripped from my knuckles onto the sand.

“Three!”

My ribs screamed. Each breath was a knife.

“Four!”

The fallen man didn’t move.

“Five!”

Somewhere far away, someone was sobbing. It took me a moment to realize it was me. Silent. Internal. A sound no one could hear.

“Six!”

The lantern light blurred. I blinked. Blinked again.

“Seven!”

Sand and blood. That was the whole world. Sand and blood and the sound of counting.

“Eight!”

My opponent’s fingers twitched. Nothing more.

“Nine!”

Stillness.

“Ten!” The referee rose. He crossed the pit in quick strides, seized my wrist, and thrust my arm toward the ceiling.

“Winner!”

The warehouse detonated. Every voice in that cramped, stinking space merged into one wall of sound that hit me like a physical force. Bodies surged against the barriers. Coins rained onto the sand. The wooden beams shook with the stamping of feet.

I stood there with my arm raised and felt nothing.

No. That wasn’t true. I felt everything. Every fracture, every bruise, every torn muscle and split knuckle. And beneath it all, deeper than bone, deeper than blood—the thing I’d been carrying for years. The thing that didn’t have a name. The thing that had turned me into this.

The referee released my wrist. My arm dropped like a dead thing.

Then hands were on me. Familiar hands. Warm. Careful.

“Ela. Ela, I’ve got you.”

His face swam into focus. Sharp jaw. Worried eyes. The scar above his left eyebrow pulled tight with tension. His expression was a war—pride fighting fear fighting relief, none of them winning.

I opened my mouth. Nothing came out.

He wrapped both arms around me. Not tight—he knew about the ribs. Knew about all of it. He took my weight against his side and turned us toward the tunnel.

The crowd pressed in. Hands reached for me—slapping my shoulders, grabbing at my arms, screaming things I couldn’t parse through the ringing in my ears. He shouldered through them, one arm a barrier between their reaching fingers and my body, the other keeping me upright.

The tunnel was narrow and dark. Cooler air hit my face. The noise dimmed to a muffled thunder behind us.

Left turn. Right turn. A door that groaned on rusted hinges.

The changing room was small. Cold. A single enchanted lamp bolted to the wall cast everything in pale, cold blue. Cracked tiles on the floor. A wooden bench. A bucket of water with a rag draped over its edge. The smell of old sweat and cleaning herbs.

He guided me through the door. Eased me forward.

The moment his arms released me, my legs gave out.

I hit the tiles hard. Knees first. Then my palms. The cold shot through my skin. My broken ribs shrieked as my torso curled inward, folding me into something small and ruined.

And then the sound came.

Not the controlled, silent thing from the pit. This was real. Raw. A wretched, tearing sob that ripped itself from my chest and shattered against the tile walls. Then another. And another. Each one dragging more of me out with it—more blood, more breath, more of the poison I’d been swallowing for years.

I curled on the cold floor. Shaking. Crying. Every broken piece of me screaming at once.