Chapter 386 I Wanted to Leave Here.

Author’s POV

As Ryan’s car pulled away from the Lancaster estate, an almost suffocating silence settled inside the vehicle.

Ryan had sent the driver away and was at the wheel himself. He didn’t drive fast, but with unnerving steadiness, as if the woman in the passenger seat—her emotions teetering on the edge of collapse—was not a person, but a treasure he had lost and recovered, one he dared not let slip again.

Serena leaned back in her seat, still clutching the hospital documents. The edges of the paper were crumpled from how tightly she held them. She stared at the streetlights and buildings blurring past the window, but her gaze never truly focused.

Everything had happened too quickly tonight, like an avalanche three years in the making, shattering every truth she had ever known.

Cedric was not her savior.The car accident had not been an accident.Rancy was not Cedric’s daughter… but hers and Ryan’s.

Each truth struck her chest like a block of ice, stealing her breath. Though the car was warm, she felt cold all over, the chill creeping up her fingertips and seeping into her bones.

Ryan glanced sideways at her, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. In the end, he spoke first.

“The hospital is all set. It’s neural stimulation and memory guidance—not actual open‑brain surgery. The doctors said your old head injury already has a chance of healing naturally. We’re just trying to speed up the process and lower the risks.”

His voice was low and steady, as if he was deliberately making it sound less frightening.

After a long silence, Serena whispered, “What if I don’t get my memories back?”

Her voice was soft, layered with exhaustion and confusion she could barely hide.

Ryan’s fingers tightened slightly around the steering wheel. After a short pause, he answered, “Then it’s still okay.”

Serena finally turned to look at him.

The cold glow of streetlights streamed through the window, gilding the man’s sharp features, making him look even quieter—and more worn—than before. Only then did she notice how obvious the exhaustion in his eyes was, as if every sleepless night over the past three years had settled into those gray-blue irises.

“I’m taking you to the hospital not to force you to remember me, or to make you come back to me right away.” Ryan’s tone was calm, almost restrained. “I just can’t watch you trapped in lies anymore, not even knowing who you are.”

Serena’s heart fluttered softly.

He didn’t say I love you, or You should come back to me. Yet those words hurt more than any confession. She could hear it clearly—this man had never wanted to chain her with guilt. He only wanted to give her back her choices, completely and unconditionally.

She lowered her head, staring at the crumpled papers in her hand. After a long while, she whispered, “These three years… did you really look for me the whole time?”

The car went quiet for a moment.

Ryan stared at the road ahead, split open by the headlights. His voice dropped to a near sigh.

“Not the whole time.”

Serena froze and glanced at him in surprise.

A faint, bitter tug curved Ryan’s lips, barely a smile.

“Every single day.” He paused, his throat tight. “The first year you disappeared, I searched almost every hospital, police station, and coastline in London and the surrounding areas. The second year, I expanded abroad. By the third year… many people told me to give up, that you were gone. But something always felt wrong.”

His voice was quiet, but each word struck her heart.

“I just felt… if I stopped, I would really never find you again.

Serena’s fingers tightened abruptly, as if something had violently twisted the softest part deep inside her chest.

She didn’t know what to say.

She didn’t remember their wedding, their vows, or how important this man had once been in her life. Yet in that moment, she felt an indescribable ache and sorrow, as if someone was slowly cutting open her numbed heart with a dull knife.

“Why…” Her voice was hoarse. “Why do I feel so hurt whenever I see you?”

Ryan was silent for two seconds, then murmured, “Because some things don’t get lost with memories. Feelings don’t.”

After that, the car fell silent again.

Serena asked no more questions.

But as she watched the night scenery speeding by outside, broken, blurry images suddenly flashed through her mind—flickering candlelight in a church, a man’s slender fingers sliding a ring onto her hand, a warm, steady embrace late at night, and a pair of eyes almost identical to Ryan’s, gazing at her from close up, filled with affection she could not name.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her chest heaving sharply.

“Serena?” Ryan’s voice tightened at once. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She pressed a hand to her temple, her voice faint. “Just… a lot going on in my head.”

Ryan wanted to say more, but swallowed the words. He only slowed down slightly, his voice lower and firmer. “Take your time. You don’t have to force yourself to remember right now.”

Serena didn’t reply.

She only suddenly realized that she no longer resisted him the way she had at first.

Not because the evidence was overwhelming, or the truth too cruel. It was because this man had never crossed her boundaries. He had more reason than anyone to resent her, blame her, demand answers from her. Yet he only stayed by her side, like someone who had waited far too long—bruised all over, but still carefully guarding her last fragile pieces.

Meanwhile, Cedric had lost his mind.

In the dim monitoring room on the second floor of the Lancaster estate, the light fell on the man’s unnaturally pale face, turning his once-gentle eyes cold and terrifying.

On the screen, Ryan’s car had just left the estate grounds.

Serena was in his car.

She had left with him after all.

Cedric stared motionlessly at the screen, his face almost blank. It was the hollow emptiness of someone driven to the very edge—and beneath it, hatred and madness boiled, ready to devour everything.

He had spent three years tearing her away from that man, Ryan Blackwood.

He had cared for her carefully, woven her a reasonable, gentle new life, made her believe she was his wife, made her and Rancy depend on him. He had even thought that with a little more time, once she forgot her past completely, they could live peacefully like an ordinary couple.

But Ryan had come back.

Or rather, Ryan had never truly been gone.

He was like an unshakable ghost, tearing apart every lie, crushing everything Cedric had built. What stung most was that even with no memories, Serena was still drawn to Ryan, still moved by him, still chose to leave with him without hesitation when faced with the truth.

Cedric’s fingers curled tighter, his nails digging into his palms until they nearly drew blood.

He had lost.

And if Serena regained her memories, he would lose everything.

His sanity, stretched to breaking point, finally snapped in that long, suffocating silence.

Minutes later, a black sports car roared out of the Lancaster garage, like a caged animal breaking free, charging into the main road with night wind and killing intent.