Chapter 38
Thirty-Eight
Ryley
was pounding and the thought of
I awoke with a groan. My opening my eyes made me want to vomit. I haven’t felt like this since I was pregnant with Channing. Not only was I sick a lot but I would get the worst migraines, making me sick. My limbs felt heavy as I tried to roll over. Why do people enjoy getting drunk? I don’t even remember drinking that much.
“Do you remember asking the alpha to stay the night? Or to have sex?” Lily snickered and I groaned.
“F*ck. I can’t believe I did that. I’m never going to be able to look him in the eyes again. What the hell is wrong with me?” I cried.
“Do you remember trying to get him to notice the pretty waitress?” She asked.
“I remember that. I don’t know why I would do that. I can’t be with him but I don’t want to see him with anyone else. I’m such a selfish bi*ch.” I sighed.
I crawled out of bed, thankfully for the bottle of water someone left on my nightstand. I stumbled to the bathroom to shower. I f**ked up big time and thankfully Blake wasn’t drunk or I would have woken up beside him. Or maybe he didn’t even want me and I was overthinking this.
I swallowed down the feeling of being unwanted. I have no right to be upset. I can’t be with Blake and there’s no point in pretending. I can’t risk Channing’s life by being with a wolf, let alone an alpha. He would
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find me and I can’t let that happen.
After I was done showering, I felt better. The bottle of water also helped. I wrapped my robe around me before walking downstairs to the kitchen. Channing was sitting on a stool beside the kitchen island with a mug of coffee.
“How are you feeling?” He dragged out, teasing me.
“I’m sorry about last night. I should have never drank so much.” I told him, getting another bottle of water from the fridge. I needed more water before I could have some coffee.
“Mom, you don’t need to apologize. You deserve to go out and have some fun. I am surprised that the alpha brought you home but didn’t stay the night.” He chuckled and I almost choked on my water.
“You were still up?” I breathed out.
“Aspen was here as well. But as soon as you were in bed, they both left.” He shrugged.
“F*ck.” I leaned against the island in front of him.
“Mom, what are you doing? Do you like Alpha Blake?” He asked me.
“Sweetie, even if I did. I couldn’t be with him, you know that. Last night, nothing happened and it won’t happen again. I would never put your life in jeopardy.” I answered.
“I’m happy here, Mom. I feel moře normal than I ever have. And the faster we deal with Dad, the faster you can move on with your life and be happy. And it would be better to face him with an alpha and pack on your side.” He said. I took some deep breaths. Channing may be right but I would never forgive myself if my past got Blake hurt or even killed.
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“How about we head up to the cabin for the night? I can call Walter to see if he can take us fishing.” I asked him.
“Can Aspen come with us?”
“As long as it’s okay with Blake, then he can. Tell Aspen to be here within the hour. We can get some snacks before driving up.” I said and before I was done speaking, he had already pulled his phone out.
“Thanks, Mom. He’s on his way. I’m going to go get ready,” he stood up from the stool. He came around the island to kiss me before heading in the direction of the stairs.
“Also, Alpha Blake dropped off your purse this morning. You had left it at the bar.” Channing pointed to where my purse was now sitting on the chair by the door.
“Thank you.” I smiled.
“Alpha Blake is a good man, Mom. And I see the way he looks at you and the way your face lights up for him. Dealing with Dad may be a pain in the a*s but it shouldn’t steal your happiness.” With that, Channing retreated up the stairs.
“Our boy is right you know. Blake is a good man. And the one person you care about more than anything just told you as much.” Lily chimed
in.
“I’m scared, Lily. Blake could break me all over again. And there would be no coming back from that. And how can I prove myself worthy of being his Luna? I would never be able to hide again. And I don’t know if it’s worth it. I don’t know if I could go back to that lifestyle.” I sighed.
“Just think about it. We could have everything. I know with an alpha there comes more responsibilities but we are a Luna wolf. If anyone
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can handle a pack, it’s us.” She said before retreating.
I filled up a mug with coffee before heading up to my room to get ready. I needed the great outdoors to clear my head. Even if it’s just for the night. It’s been only a few weeks and I feel it’s been forever since we were home, in the house I bought for us. But now it doesn’t seem like home. This house feels like home. And it feels even more so with Aspen here.
I’m terrified to open the box and release the possibility of me being with Blake. And if I tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel the same,
would feel like a fool. And no man will ever make a fool out of me again