Chapter 244
ASHER
The moment I push open the door to my office, my gaze sweeps across the room automatically, trained by years of instinct and caution, and then it lands on him.
Josh is sitting on the other side of my desk, awaiting my arrival.
“You’ve got some nerve.” I lash out. “What are you doing in my office?”
My voice is sharp and unwelcoming, pretty much exactly how I intend it. Typically, he doesn’t flinch but something about him feels strange. Josh Randall is many things; arrogant, calculated, annoying, I could go on. But he’s never been so quiet like this before me, never looked or felt so small in my presence.
His shoulders are slouched, his usual cocky posture is nowhere to be found. Even the way he looks at me lacks its usual bite. There’s no challenge in his eyes, no smugness. It just looks dull and tired. Yet, it irritates me more than it should.
“Relax, I’m not here to pick a fight with you.”
I scoff, shutting the door behind me with more force than necessary. “Too late. The audacity of coming here and ruining my day first thing in the morning with your face is enough of a trigger.”
He exhales slowly, like he expected that reaction. “I won’t take long.”
I walk further into the office and stop just in front of my desk. I shove my hands in my pocket so I don’t do something I might actually regret. My mind flashes back to the last time he and I stood in the same room.
It was at the board meeting. I still vividly remember him leaning back in his chair like he owned the place, poking holes in my strategies, questioning my focus and painting me before the board members as distracted and unfit to take over Rollins Group.
And then we met again at Nessa’s place. His smug grin had been nasty to look at. The way he’d dropped the news of Nessa’s pregnancy like a bomb between us still haunts me till date.
We’re having a baby.
Even now, my hands still itch to punch the daylights out of him for knocking her up. Nessa deserves better.
“You have five minutes,” I quip cutting through whatever speech he might have prepared for this impromptu visit. I don’t bother sitting in my chair. Instead, I perch on the edge of my desk, fold my arms with my gaze locked on him.
Josh doesn’t sit either. That’s new. He always sat before without waiting for my permission, always acted like he belonged wherever he went in this company.
Now he just stands there, shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to another, like a guest overstaying his welcome.
“Four minutes,” I clarify, glancing at my wristwatch. I watch him drag a hand through his hair, then let it fall to his side.
“Look, I’ll just cut to the chase. I know Father already told you about what happened.”
I let out a dry laugh. “You mean how you got drunk and blabbed sensitive company information to a stranger in a bar in hopes of getting laid?”
He works his jaw with an embarrassed stare “It wasn’t like that.”
“Which part? The drinking or the talking because I can guarantee you do both egregiously wrong.”
He ignores that, swallowing whatever pride he has left. “I’m here to talks about the marriage deal with the Spellmans.”
That gets my attention, but I don’t show it. “And what about it?” I ask flatly.
He dips his eyes. “Asher, I need your help.”
For a second, I actually think I misheard him but when I look at him, his eyes are truly emitting pleas It throws me off a little, makes me shift my weight to fully grasp what he’ s about to say.
“Why would you need my help when you did something stupid and yet, you hit the jackpot with the Spellman heiress?”
“We both know it’s not that sweet a deal, Asher. Mira hasn’t been so subtle about her feelings for Ashton despite their breakup for months now. The only thing worse than marrying my half-brother’s sloppy seconds is being undesired by her.”
My eyes narrow. “Too bad you don’t get to be picky after what you’ve done.”
“I’m not being picky.”
“You are,” I snap. “You’re standing here, after nearly destroying everything, telling me you have preferences.”
His jaw clenches, but he doesn’t rise to the bait. “I can’t marry her, Asher. You know Nessa is already carrying my child. Thankfully, father doesn’t know yet, and neither does Mira or the rest of her family.”
For a fraction of a second, I see him crack. “I marry into the Spellman family and this secret gets out, neither Nessa nor our baby will be safe. They’ll see them as a liability, a stain to be wiped. They’ll try to get rid of her. and our baby”
Something in his expression shifts as he wipes sweat coating his forehead. “They won’t allow a scandal like that to exist alongside their name. I might have been part of the Rollins family for a minute but I know how billionaires can get when their stellar reputation is on the line. I can’t have Nessa suffer the same fate as Demi did.”
I steel my face to keep from showing my surprise. Of course, Brett shares everything with his biological son. Why does it still sting though? Such revelations shouldn’t come as a surprise to me at this point.
I hate that I care enough to still feel jealous.
“And if the child manages to survive,” Josh goes on, pacing my office a bit and sweating in a disturbing way despite the chill, “I won’t be able to call him/her mine. I won’t be allowed to be a part of the child’s life and vice versa.” He swallows hard and I imagine that hit a sore spot. “I’m not bringing a child into this world just to watch it grow up without a father the way I did. I won’t put my own child through the pain of knowing one’s father and watching from the sideline while forbidden from using his name or identifying as his child.”
Silence settles between us. For the first time since he walked in, I don’t have an immediate response. Josh lifts his gaze and meets mine fully.
“You don’t know what that feels like. To watch your father from a distance, seeing him build a life with other children while you’re…nothing. A mistake. A dirty little secret of his. That’s a different kind of hell.”
I almost scoff. It may not be the same but I also lived a different version of hell. He doesn’t get to disparage my own unique experience just because he’s throwing himself a pity party in my office. Still, I let him continue.
His lips press into a thin line. “I lived that. And even after he publicly claimed me, nothing really changed like I hoped.” His eyes flicker with something bitter. “I still get treated like I’m half of what you are.”
I push off the desk, stepping closer to burst his pity bubble. “Now, that one’s on you. You had every opportunity to prove yourself to the people of Danvarr as a worthy son and what did you do? You chose to coast. You chose to rely on the fact that you’re Brett’s biological son. Typically, you waited for things to be handed to you on a silver platter. If people never warmed up to you or find you a formidable match against Brett’s record, be a man and take responsibility for that shit.”
A humorless laugh leaves him. “Is that what you think?”
“I think your five minutes are up, Randall.” I add bluntly.
He shakes his head slowly. “No, not before we clear this up. Don’t pretend to have forgotten how hard I worked before father’s little bastard son was discovered. Who was your biggest competition in here, huh? Who was often addressed as a lost member of the Rollins family in the board meetings? Don’t pretend you don’t remember every last detail of my achievements. After all, that’s the reason you started resenting me in the first place, long before you learnt we were related, because I was the ONLY one here who could hold a candle to Brett’s favorite son!”
God, I do remember everything, painfully so. There was a time when Josh Randall was the only one who made me work twice as hard to keep my position. It had driven me insane.
“You felt threatened by me, didn’t you.”
I grit my teeth. “Once upon a time, Randall. And then you made the mistake of getting comfortable and started acting like being linked to Brett’s name alone was enough.”
His lips twitch but I don’t back down.
“The first rule of being Brett’s son is YOU MUST EARN YOUR PLACE. Father never let us get comfortable no matter what big win we got. Once the day ended, it was in the past and he needed us to look forward to making the headlines AGAIN.”
Images flash through my mind. The late nights, endless stream of expectations, the constant pressure to outperform ourselves.
“You may have experienced a different version of father but the one I know runs a strict program. For example, he demoted Ashley. Ashley, the man who built the Rollins fashion brand from the ground up. One creative block and he was stripped of his position without hesitation by his own father!”
Josh’s expression flickers.
“And me?” I go on. “I deliver numbers year after year, and he still questions if I’m good enough to succeed him.” I let out a dry laugh. “Moral of the story; being Brett’s son never spares you. You have a problem with marrying Mira, suck it up or fix it yourself.” I pivot back to my desk, seemingly ending the conversation but still, he doesn’t head for the door.
Instead, he lets out a quiet breath. “My experience was different. He never expected much from me, never pushed me or tested me the way he tested you.”
“Josh, I’ve got a lot of work…”
“He always compares me to you,” Josh cuts in. “We never go through a conversation without your name being dropped.”
My brows draw together. “What?”
A small smile tugs at his lips. “When we were alone, it was always Asher this, Asher that. Look at what he’s doing. Look at how he leads. Look at how he handled this. It made me want to pull my hair out. I was always so jealous and mad because at the end of the day, father was right about everything he said concerning you. You are the better leader. You win, Asher.”
Something shifts in my chest. He never says that to my face. Would it kill him to tell me once that he was proud of me? I keep a straight face as Josh finally heads for the door.
I don’t look up but I sense him hover by the door.
“I’d appreciate it if you help me talk to the Spellmans. If anyone can find another way besides a marriage alliance to compel both families to take each other’s secrets to the grave, it’s you, Asher. You always find a way. Don’t do it for me. Do it for Nessa.”
That makes me pause. When I look up, the door shuts behind him. Silence floods my office. His words echo faintly in my mind. I know exactly what he’s afraid of and I can see the ugly picture play out in the near future.
If I do nothing, multiple lives will be hurt. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Josh or Mira but Nessa? Oh damn, Nessa. I exhale slowly and drag a hand down my face as a painful memory resurfaces.
I had forced her to abort our baby back when we were hooking up. I could tell that act had almost destroyed her given how much she wanted us to be a family. More so, it showed how little I cared about her. She never looked at me the same since then.
I grind my teeth, recalling my last checkup with doctor Ezra and the chilling side effect of my cancer treatment. I may no longer be able to father a child, but I won’t let Nessa lose another baby because of me!