Chapter 53
“you know I could have pitched in with the money” I said accusingly but the look he gave me made me shut up. We both got in the car and he put the parts in the back seat and started driving.
The tension in the car was thick, Ethan was obviously mad and I had didn’t know what to say.
“I wanna know why” he said after a while of silence
“Why what?”
“Why you fucking refuse to give me a chance, why you get mad and have a freaking one-eighty degree personality change when I tell you you’re beautiful. I wanna know why you fucking confuse me on what I’m doing WRONG!” he slammed the breaks and hit the steering wheel in anger “I want to know WHY”
Ethan looked mad, no scratch that; he looked furious. But I looked at him straight in the eye “What do you want me to do Ethan? Just run into your arms?Do you think it’s this easy?”
“No but I’m trying to make you trust me, I’m trying to make you mine but you won’t give me a chanceLux”
I laughed humorlessly “So now you want me Ethan? After what? Because of what? My new found personality? Oh no no wait maybe it’s because I’m not fat and ugly anymore. Am I meeting you expectations of how a mate should look like now?” I took a deep breath “I don’t want you to want me just because I’ve changed. You rejected me for the way I was, don’t expect me to accept you for what you are now”
I expected to see guilt, or maybe understanding in Ethan’s eyes but instead the only thing I saw was more anger. Wordlessly he turned to the steering wheel started the car again and darted off to the road so fast that the tires left smoke behind them. I would have found that impressing if I wasn’t so god damned confused and irritated and maybe a little scared of Ethan’s reaction.
Ethan drove so fast that without his werewolf senses we would have crashed a long time ago. The hour ride was silent and certainly felt like more than an hour until he finally pulled up to the pack house. I thought he just gave up when my passenger door opened and Ethan gripped my arm tightly, not enough to hurt but enough to make me know he was serious and I shouldn’t argue.
He walked to the pack house with me following, he barged in the living room and ignored the stares he got as we got up the stairs and he dragged me to his room. My eyes widened for a bit but he completely avoided his bed and ended up taking me to a conjoined room with his, his office.
He let go of my arm and went to the drawers behind him. he opened one and got out about thirty orforty files and threw them on the desk in front of me.
“These are the first files of the search I sent out for you, the files of every girl with the name ’Lily’, who the fuck knew that name was so fucking common huh?” he hissed angrily bu didn’t wait for me to respond as he brought out an even bigger pile of files.
“These are the files of every girl who looks remotely close to you since I thought that maybe you changed your name so we wouldn’t find you. I looked through all these photos and just knew they weren’t you. Something was always wrong with them.”
He then pulled out the smallest pile, about ten or so files and looked at me with the same anger in his eyes “and these, these are the files of the girls with the same name and same looks as you.Dead girls” pain flashed through his eyes “you know there was one. She looked almost exactly like you in the picture. I had to go over there and make sure it wasn’t you. For twenty four hours I prayed it wasn’t you, I prayed you weren’t dead.” his eyes were a bit glassy now “for twenty four hours I tried to prepare myself…that my mate might be gone. That she might never know how much I wanted to be with her. My freaking MATE” Follow current novels on
I stared a him shocked, speechless as he pulled out a single notebook and handed it to me “open it” he said and I looked at it hesitantly not sure about opening it “Open. It”
Shakily, I opened the notebook and gasped as I looked at the first page, it was a drawing, a drawing of me before two years ago, I flipped to the next page and saw another drawing of me, this one not just of my face but all of me. I flipped through all the pages and they were all of me; smiling, frowning, confused, mad and the last one…hurt.
“We didn’t have any picture of you other than the one with Keith and that was too old, you’d changed since then. So I drew one. And I guess I just found it comforting, drawing you, when I missed you I would just sit here for hours and either look at them or make new ones. Stalkerish I know but I wouldn’t have been able to live with the guilt, the sadness if I didn’t. This one” he pointed at the one of me looking hurt and sad. “This is the one I couldn’t get of my mind. When I re- when I told you I didn’t want you. I won’t ever forget the look on your face”
I didn’t know what he was feeling, a mixture of emotions showed but anger dominated