Chapter 240
Chapter 240
“Her miserable life ended when he killed her. And maybe that was one good thing that came out of their marriage.” Her shoulders drop and her hands shake as she fills her cup with tea. “I certainly wasn’t.”
It takes me a second to realise what she is telling me. “You… you were a product of rape?”
Her shoulders hitch up as she takes a deep breath and bobs her head.
“Did he…did he ever…..”
“No. There was one time, where I thought he was going to hurt me, but he turned on my mother instead. Do you see why I thought Cassandra was offering me a better life? She made me promises. She made me feel worthy. She made me feel safe.”
Exactly how she made me feel before her and Trey set me up and destroyed me.
“I know now that she was a bitch to you. But at the time, she gave me the opportunity to have something better. To not be waiting for the day when my father finally decided I was old enough for him to rape me. And I took it. And that is when everything fell apart.”
I could feel Nyx’s sorrow as we listened to her story
“I believed every ounce of information that she fed me. I believed every damn lie she told me about you. I should have been smarter. I should have realised after my upbringing that trust is more than bribes. I see why you don’t trust me, Neah. I see why you don’t want to trust me. I wouldn’t either but I swear that I will never stop trying. You can keep hating me. You can keep acting like I’m the scum of the earth. But I will not stop trying to make up for what I did.”
“I don’t hate you.”
Her hand taps the table, my words catching her off guard. “You…you don’t?”
“I used to wish that you had actually killed me. That you ended my existence.”
“I’m sorry.” She reaches out to take my hand, on instinct, I recoil and she she looks heartbroken.
“The hardest part of having you here, is that you are a constant reminder that you could have ended my suffering and you didn’t.” I shake my head, half a smile creeping across my face because my reasoning sounded ridiculous. “Stupid right? Especially when my mate is the Alpha of this pack. If you had killed me. My sons wouldn’t exist.”
“No.” She mutters, her brows knitting together. “No, it’s not stupid. You were looking for a way out. Even if the way out was death.”
We fall into silence. Mallory nibbles on a biscuit as I try to find a way to move forward with this uncomfortable conversation.
‘We should give her a chance.’ Nyx mutters
“Was killing your father what turned you Rogue?” I splutter
“No, it was what I did to you. I had already turned by the time I killed my father.” She smiles. “He tried to repent for his sins as I tore him apart. Fucking bastard thought that praying to his stupid God would save him from all his crimes.”
She jams the rest of the biscuit in her mouth as I see the moment of enjoyment on her face. I wasn’t the one to say it was wrong to enjoy it. There is just something satisfying about taking the life of someone who doesn’t deserve one.
“There’s something I don’t understand. You told me that Damien was the only one you had helped to turn back, successfully. Who helped you?”
She scrunches up her face. “Rogues love the lifestyle. It’s a simple life. I’m sure Damien has told you that. The darkness drags you in. For me, something just felt…wrong. Like my darkness wasn’t natural. Like I was trying to be someone or something that I’m not. If you ask Damien, he will tell you that apart from me being able to shift, I’m more human than most.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Cassandra turned me because I told her exactly what she wanted to hear. I wanted to make sure she didn’t pass me up. So I did what I needed to do to ensure it would happen. I had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. When I hurt you, something else took over. I think more than anything, I was trying to prove a point to her. Now that’s stupid.”
‘It sounds like she was brainwashed.’ Nyx mutters. ‘Cassandra played on her desperation.’
I had been there. For years I thought Trey was my brother. For years I believed that I had been solely responsible for my parents death.
Her brown eyes flicker up to me. “You wish that I had killed you back then. I wish I had never met Cassandra.”
“You wouldn’t be a Lycan.”
“I know.” She shrugs her shoulders again and I stare at her, surprised by her announcement.
“Hurting you and letting Cassandra bite me are two of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life and I can’t change either of them. But I can use one to help you in any way I can, if you let me. Starting with that bitch that calls herself your half sister.”