Chapter 138

“Kyra, Alpha Merikh wants to see you,” Thatch says, leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping on his steaming cup of coffee. My puffy, unawake eyes glare at him as he smiles behind the last of the only elixir that can shake this terrible mood I am dawning. “Is that all the coffee?” I ask him, my voice sounding desperate, but I don’t care. Desperation in the face of coffee is the only place I will ever come close to groveling.
“Out here, yes.” He arches a brow. “The alpha has a coffee machine in his office,”
“This seems like a feeble attempt to just hurry me along to see him.” I mumble as I shuffle away from the chuckling beta, heading to the Alpha’s office in a huff.
The second I step in front of his door, I draw in a deep breath a shit attempt to calm myself. My first meeting with Alpha Merikh was fine, but the second when I saw Hayes, and then what happened after?
My nerves are frayed and my emotions a damn mess. I roll my head, trying to release the tension before entering. Yet somehow he knows I am here. His voice calls out, telling me to enter, and I reach out to push the door open. The handle yanks on my firm grip in a frenzy of speed and I tumble forward with a surprised squawk falling from my lips.
My body collides with another, the warmth of it radiating through me as I place my hands on their chest and push back, a blush rising on my cheeks. The muscles under my palms flex in a strange way that makes my brows knit together. It all clicks when his hands grip my biceps and I see the shiny pink flesh, sunken skin that clings to the muscles that survived the raging heat of the dragon’s flames.
Hayes. Shit. I shove away from him as fast as possible, my heart pounding as I keep my concentration on his burned hand. Forcing myself not to look anywhere else, not when my embarrassment is so noticeable on my face.
Hayes clears his throat and tears his hand back, tucking it into his pocket. And only then do I look up to see him glancing away from me at the ground.
“I told you, Alpha, I am not happy about this decision.” Hayes says, his eyes peeking up once but looking away instantly before he shoves past me out the door. His shoulder connects with mine, making me stumble into the doorjamb. “So good to see you too,” I grumble under my breath before I grab hold of the door and slam it behind him a little harder than I planned. The wall shakes and Merikh chuckles.
“Sounds like your reunion has continued to really go smoothly.” He gives me a sorry smile.
“Hah. If wanting to strangle each other is considered smooth, then sure, it’s been really splendid.” I reply with a scoff.
“If you don’t want to go, Kyra, you can say no,” Alpha Merikh offers, but I can see the worry lines on his face. “Hayes has been this way since he lost his mate. I am worried about him, about his obsession with his desire to die.”
“Is that what you wanted to see me about? You want me to babysit him because I used to know him?” I ask, not bothering to hide the shock I feel.
“No,” He exhales as he comes around his desk, taking a seat in the chair across from the couch. “What I really want is to ask you some questions.”
I give him a curious look, my arms crossing over my chest. It did strike me as odd that Merikh hadn’t cared to ask me a single thing about where I had been, what I had done before he found me. But then again, he is the Alpha, so perhaps he already knows more than I think.
“Uh, what kind of questions?” I ask, arching a brow as I take a seat on the couch.
“Why didn’t you tell me all of it?” He asks, a frown on his lips as he watches me with pity. My stomach sinks and I swallow roughly. The room feels suffocating as I try to clear my throat and rub my clammy hands on my pants.
“Tell you-uh-all of what?” I ask, my voice cracking as I look out the window, trying not to make eye contact. Shit, I can’t do this, not after last night. My weak resolve is already cracking. I refuse to talk about it.
“I knew your mate.” He offers me a gentle smile.
“Yes, well, he was well known. He did a lot of traveling to help train other werewolves.” I say with a soft smile, remembering the kind yet firm mate I loved and lost.
“He trained you too, and from what I learned, you two became quite the trackers together.” Merikh asks, and I can see where he is going. I can’t help but roll my eyes. This rumor had come up several times when Tyler was alive and though he said it never bothered him, I could see the way the words stung his pride.
“Lycan’s are a little different from werewolves. Some things were much easier for me to pick up on, but Tyler was still better than me. He will always be the best. If I had truly been better, then it would be him here, not me.” I say, making sure Merikh understands I refuse to be told I am better than Tyler. Ever. He was amazing at what he did, and I strive every day to live up to him.
“I hear you told Hayes about him?” He asks, clearing his throat as he stands and makes a move for the coffee machine on the shelf where books should be.
“It may have come up,” I say casually, even though I know that is the understatement of the century.
“Did you want something to drink?”
“Uh,” I feign thinking about it as I fight the urge to scream yes and bowl him over for that caffeine. “Sure, yeah, I’ll have some.”
He nods as he goes about grabbing coffee pods to put in the machine.
“So Tyler, if you don’t mind me asking, he died over a year ago?” He asks, grabbing mugs as he sets up the machine, clicking buttons as if this is the most casual conversation to have.
“Uh, yeah.” I murmur, picking at my fingers, trying not to relive the moment I felt the bond disappear and the days after that seemed to only tear my heart out of me further.
“How long…” he pauses, looking at me with a scrunched nose as if he is thinking of the right way to phrase something. “How long were you…” “Sad?” I ask and he frowns.
“No, I guess I am curious if you were ever like Hayes is.” He sighs.
“For a little while, maybe.” I shrug. “Tyler’s parents were killed a year before him, so I had no one left after losing him. Maybe that is why I didn’t stay the way Hayes is acting for so long. There was no one to pull me out of it, I just….had to do it for Tyler.”
“Well, you also were with him much longer than Hayes was with Leandra, and there were some… factors involved,” he says with a small frown.
“Grief looks different on everyone,
Alpha.” I say offended he would
insinuate that Hayes’ pain may have been more than mine. “I invested my time in training and tracking the enemy. Hayes has invested his time in creative ways to find an out for himself.”
He looks up from what he is doing, silence filling the room between us. For a moment, it seems like he may explode on me for being so harsh in my words. But instead a frown and sadness clouds his features and he turns, leaning on the shelf as he looks at me. “What happened between you two?” He asks softly.
A bitter laugh races from my lips, and I try to hide it by looking away.
“Hayes never told you?” I ask him in disbelief.
Merikh shrugs.
“Hayes always just said you two grew apart and then, when he noticed you had left the pack, he got upset and didn’t speak to anyone for weeks.”
It’s sick, but it makes me feel a little bit better that at least he noticed I was gone.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal.” I mutter, “But if Hayes hasn’t told you, then he doesn’t want anyone to know. So forgive me for keeping it close to my vest.”
“Fair enough I suppose.” He nods, grabbing the first mug of coffee and handing it to me. “The next question is a little more… personal…”
I somehow doubt he could get more personal than the one he asked before, but I take the mug eagerly and give him the look to continue. “Can you handle this emotionally?” He asks, and I pull the cup away from my face.
“What do you mean? Because I am a woman?” I ask incredulously. I really didn’t expect this from him.
“No,” he says softly, “No, I ask because of what happened to you after losing Tyler.”
The blood leeches from my face and my fingers feel numb as I lick my dry lips.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I croak, and he frowns.
“You don’t need to lie, Kyra. I know you lost more than your mate. Thatch has done his job and
reported back everything that has et
happened.” He says softly and squeeze my eyes closed, a tear racing down my cheek as I look away, trying to control this “How far along were you?”
“Far enough,” I whisper, wiping my face. “Far enough to know I have to avenge my mate and our dead child.”