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I Forgot I Loved You Alpha Chapter 80

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Chapter 80

Chapter 80
Ellie POV
Nolan was the first one through the door, which I hadn’t expected. Not that I thought he would shy away from the situation after how upset he’d been during the attack and the way he’d rushed to protect me, but seeing him rush to my bedside now still surprised me.
What shocked me even more was when he dropped to his knees and took my hand in his. The fear I had seen in his eyes during the attack wasn’t completely gone, but now there was something else there. Sadness. A sadness so deep it made my heart skip.
“I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t remember him ever saying those words to me before. Of course, with my memory problems, I couldn’t be certain-but I was sure I hadn’t heard him say them in the months since the accident.
“I am so sorry. This is all my fault.”
“Nolan, you tried to stop him-”
“If I hadn’t been such a bastard, you would have told me about the babies. If I had known you were pregnant, the security would have been stronger, hell, I wouldn’t have even let you go. This is all my fault, and I need you to know how sorry I am.”
His grip on my hand tightened, almost painfully. His gray eyes looked glassy, as though he was about to cry.
“It’s not your fault. I chose to keep it a secret.”
“It is my fault! Our babies are gone because I couldn’t earn your trust. Because I pushed you away. I made your life miserable. I’m sorry, Ellie.”
The beeping of the monitors was the only sound for a long moment. I hadn’t known what to expect from him. Anger, maybe, but devastation? The raw emotion in his eyes was unlike anything I could have imagined.
It made me feel guilty in a way that hollowed me out.
Before I could find the words to respond, he suddenly stood. His grip on my hand tightened once more, almost painfully, then released. Without another word, he turned and walked out the door.
Lance and Cassian exchanged a glance as they watched him go before moving closer to me.
“Was he… crying?” Lance asked quietly.
“I think so,” Cassian replied, just as the door clicked shut.
“I’ve never seen him like that,” I said, looking up at the two of them. “I had no idea he’d react so strongly.
“I mean, it only makes sense, considering Lance glanced back at the door again.
“We’re glad you’re going to be all right,” Cassian said. “We were really scared for a minute there.”
“How long was I out for?”
“Since last night. Rae was waiting with us, but she went home to get some sleep.” “That’s probably for the best. I need to talk to you-well, I need to talk to you, Lance. But unless my memory’s wrong, you already told Cassian about the situation.”
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Lance looked guilty as he nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I filled him in before this happened.”
“I’m annoyed, but… it worked out for the best.”
“Ellie, do you have any idea who that guy was? Why he did this to you?” Cassian asked, his tone gentle even if his question was characteristically blunt.
Shaking my head, I admitted, “I have no way of knowing if he’s really someone from my past, or if he was just saying that to freak me out. I have no memory of him.”
“We’ve only been able to confirm that he was a rogue, and he seemed to have been planning this for a while. Tracking down any other information has been difficult,” Cassian explained.
“Well, it’s only been a day. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”
“You’re surprisingly calm about this,” Lance said with concern.
“I have a confession to make,” I said, the guilt I was feeling intensifying. “I lied. Or-I asked the doctor to lie.”
“Lie about what?” Lance asked.
“About losing the babies.”
The silence in the room was deafening as they both stared at me in disbelief. I saw the moment Lance’s eyes flicked toward the door, remembering Nolan’s apology.
“It’s just… if news gets out that the attack failed, then somebody might try again. It’ll be safer for them if it’s a secret. I can’t hide the fact that I survived, but-”
“I see. You think the babies were the target,” Cassian said. “What made you come to that conclusion?”
“It’s like he was aiming for my stomach,” I said, touching my belly.
“The doctor said something like that too,” Lance added. “That it barely missed your womb.”
“So it’s better to hide the fact that the babies are still alive. Just in case somebody wants to hurt them.”
“But you won’t be able to hide it for long-especially now that Nolan knows about the pregnancy.”
“And that’s exactly why I need your help.”
“You want to go through with the plan?” Lance asked in surprise. “You still want to run away?”
“If anything, this makes me even more certain that it’s the only thing I can do,” I replied. “If I want my babies to have a chance, I have to hide. I have to hide them.”
“Well, there’s no reason we can’t follow through with the plan,” Lance said, looking at Cassian. “Is there?”
Cassian shook his head. “I’ve already started making arrangements in Moonstone. You’ll have safe haven there. We’ll make sure no one finds you, especially Nolan.”
My eyes widened with realization. “That’s why you told him.”
“Well, the only option you offered was to go to Kieran’s pack-and I don’t trust that guy as far as I can throw him,” Lance replied.
“You’re really willing to go that far for me?” I asked Cassian.
“Of course. I’ve seen firsthand the situation you’ve been living in, and even if Nolan
is expressing his regrets now,
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that doesn’t change things. I’m sure once Felicity is back, it’ll go right back to the way it always was.”
“He’s right,” Lance agreed. “We all know Felicity isn’t going to let any kind of sympathy keep her from getting what she wants. And Nolan never could tell her no.”
The thought of Felicity made me uneasy. I suddenly remembered the strange incident with the beef tartar at the first event with Cassian and his father. It had tasted wrong, and Felicity had been so defensive about it.
She was dangerous. I couldn’t trust her around my babies.
“You’re right about that. So you’ll help me run away? You’ll help me escape from here and find somewhere safe to stay until the babies are born?”I asked hopefully, looking between the two of them.
“And after,” Cassian said firmly, “I’ll make sure you have a place to stay. Somewhere safe to raise them.”
“I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I’ll never be able to thank you for this.” “You don’t need to thank me. We’re friends, right?” Cassian said, smiling slightly. “Yeah,” I said, smiling as my eyes filled with tears. “We’re friends.”
“Then you don’t need to worry about anything,” Lance added. “Just trust us. Everything’s going to be all right.”
He took my hand and I squeezed his tightly.
It might have been foolish of me, but I did trust them. And for the first time in
months, I felt like I was finally, truly safe.
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