Chapter 192

Chapter 192
Nolan POV
Rumors had a way of slithering through the halls of Silver Fang like smoke.
No matter how tightly I tried to keep control, whispers always found cracks to slip through.
I’d learned to live with them over the years. The talk of my temper, of my failures, of my wife had always been part of the packhouse.
I could remember the whispers when Ellie and I had first gotten married. They were scandalized that I’d brought home a rogue, fated mate or not. Ellie hadn’t cared. She’d been confident, outspoken, and determined.
I could lie and tell myself that’s why I did nothing to stop the gossip. The truth was, I was still trying desperately to keep myself from feeling anything for her.
Felicity was in my ear constantly back then. I let her fill my head with all kinds of ideas about Ellie. Her attitude was disrespectful to me as the alpha. Her confidence was arrogance that couldn’t be tolerated from a rogue.
And slowly it had broken her down. My rejection made her miserable, desperate. She did everything she could to get my attention. She tried everything to become the perfect mate, and I threw it in her face at every turn.
I scrubbed my hand down my face and tried to dispel the thoughts. The car accident that triggered her memory loss was a blessing in disguise. It turned Ellie back into herself. Back into the confident, stubborn woman I’d married.
But lately, the rumors had started again, and this time they’d taken on a sharper edge.
The Alpha’s mate is gone again.
Maybe she’s not coming back this time.
I sat in my office, staring out at the storm gathering beyond the windows. My
reflection in the glass looked tired
shadows under my eyes, jaw tight from too many sleepless nights.
I’d been telling myself I was giving Ellie space. That if I forced the issue, she’d only retreat further. But the silence was eating me alive.
Maybe Lance was right. Maybe I was overcorrecting, and this was the wrong thing to do.
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts.
“Come in.”
Lance stepped inside, looking less polished than usual – his blond hair mussed, his expression unguarded.
The two of us were less guarded with each other now, but at times it still felt strange to see Lance without the usual mask of charm.
“You look like hell,” Lance said by way of greeting.
“Thanks,” I muttered. “I’ll add that to the list of things I already know.”
Lance dropped into the chair across from me, stretching his legs out. “Heard the rumors?”
I gave a humorless laugh. “You mean the ones about my mate disappearing? Yeah. Hard to miss.”
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“They’re not exactly subtle,” Lance said. “Half the pack’s acting like it’s a scandal, the other half’s pretending it’s none of their business.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “It is their business. I’m supposed to lead them, and
I can’t even keep my family together.”
“That’s not how leadership works,” Lance said quietly. “You can be a good Alpha and still be a flawed man.”
I looked up at him. “You sound like you’ve been practicing that line.”
“Maybe I have,” Lance admitted. “You’re not the only one doing some thinking lately.”
Silence settled between them, us broken only by the sound of rain hitting the window.
Finally, I spoke. “I’m starting to realize I don’t know how to be what they need. Not Ellie, not the boys. I keep trying to do what I think is right, but all it does is push people away.”
“It’s not surprising that you don’t know what you’re doing. Our parents didn’t exactly give us a great example of a healthy family dynamic.”
I scoffed, but there was no heat to it. “I should still be able to figure it out. I’m the alpha.”
Lance studied me for a moment, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You ever think maybe that’s the problem?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Your whole life, you’ve only ever been the alpha. Not a father, not a mate,” Lance said, his tone soft but sharp.” They taught you to be immovable and resolute. That’s not what you need to be right now. You’re trying to make
for it by being passive, letting Ellie set the pace, but she’s stuck in place waiting, too.”
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I looked down at my hands, scarred, calloused, steady. “Ellie used to say the same thing. That I didn’t know how to let people love me because I didn’t know what love looked like.”
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