Chapter 277
Chapter 277:
Still sleepy, her eyes lifted to meet mine, wide and innocent, and my heart skipped. It fucking skipped.
Guilty? I damn well was… The thought of never seeing her again…
Fuck! Just the mere thought of it had Ace growling.
Her gaze was warm, soft, filled with a love I didn’t feel I deserved. How did she still look at me like that, with trust and tenderness, when the storm raging inside me threatened to consume everything? Her lips parted slightly, her voice gentle. “Ryder p>
Hearing her say my name so softly, like it was a lifeline, brought an ache to my chest. The walls of the room blurred for a moment as I swallowed hard, trying to push down the suffocating dread coiling in my gut. Did I really deserve her?
I walked toward her, my movements slow, as if the floor beneath me might give way. Every step felt like a confession, like I was dragging my sins into the light for her to see.
My dark past clung to me, heavier than ever. The memories of what I’d done, who I used to be, whispered cruelly in my mind.
She shifted, sitting up, the blanket falling away. Her eyes searched mine, concern knitting her brows together. “What happened?” she whispered.
I couldn’t answer right away. My throat felt tight, clogged with all the things I couldn’t bring myself to say. The things I was terrified she’d one day discover. My jaw clenched as the weight of my secrets pressed down on me.
Why hadn’t I thought of it all this while? Why on earth was it just dawning on me now?
Her innocence was like a mirror, reflecting back all the darkness inside me. What had I done to deserve someone like her? How could someone so pure, so good, love someone like me? Someone who had used others, hurt others, and never thought twice about it.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands trembling as I reached out to touch her cheek. My thumb brushed her soft skin, and she leaned into my touch, trusting, open. That simple gesture was almost my undoing.
If she knew… My mind whispered the words like a curse. If she knew the things I’d done, the people I’d used, the mistakes I’d buried deep, would she still look at me like this? Would she still trust me?
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No, I can’t afford to hurt her a second fucking time.
The fear of losing her. The fear of her gaze turning cold, of her warmth disappearing, leaving me to drown in the cold emptiness I used to know so well. The fear of hurting her again—she was still going through a phase, and I was a pit to add another? Screw me.
My voice came out rough, barely above a whisper. “Jasmine, I p>
Her fingers touched mine, stopping the words before they could tumble out. “You don’t have to say anything.” Her eyes searched mine, and I could see the love there.
“Dude, don’t tell her, if you don’t want to lose her,” Ace’s warning rang in my head.
But that made it worse. That made it unbearable.
Didn’t she deserve the truth? Didn’t she deserve someone who wasn’t haunted by shadows and regrets? Someone who hadn’t once walked so close to the edge of darkness that he nearly lost himself?
I pulled my hand away, clenching it into a fist on my lap. “You don’t know everything about me, Jasmine p>
She tilted her head, her eyes still gentle. “I know enough p>