Chapter 310

Chapter 310:

Three days. Three fucking days, and I can’t look her in the eye.

Jasmine. My mate, my Luna, my everything. The woman who’s both my salvation and my damnation. The one whose touch I crave more than my next breath, but now? Now I can’t even be in the same room without feeling like my chest is about to cave in.

Why? Because every time I look at her, all I see is my past. All I hear is the echo of my demons whispering, She’ll leave us.

Ace growls in agreement every time. He’s been unusually vocal, pacing in the back of my mind like a caged animal.

Don’t you dare talk to her, he snarls. You’ll ruin everything. She’ll hate us. She’ll leave us.

And for once, I don’t fight him. Because fuck, maybe he’s right.

I’ve been avoiding her like a coward, dodging her questions, her touch, her goddamn eyes. Those beautiful eyes that could cut through all my bullshit in a second. The same eyes that would shatter if she knew the truth about me.

The truth. My dark, disgusting truth. I can’t tell her. I won’t.

And yet, it’s eating me alive.

This morning, I finally corner Kade in the training grounds. He’s sparring with one of the younger wolves, his movements fluid and precise, but the second he sees me, his grin falters. He knows. The guy’s been my right hand for years; he can read me like an open book.

“What’s up with you?” he asks, tossing the kid a towel and motioning for them to leave. “You look like shit p>

“Thanks for the pep talk,” I mutter, dragging a hand through my hair. “Needed that p>

Kade raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. “Spill it, Ryder. You’ve been off for days. What’s going on p>

I hesitate, my hands balling into fists at my sides. Saying it out loud makes it real, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. But if there’s anyone I can trust, it’s Kade.

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“I’ve been having panic attacks,” I admit, my voice low.

The shock on his face is immediate. His arms drop to his sides, his brows furrowing. “What? Since when? You haven’t had one in years p>

“Three days,” I say bitterly. “Since… since the day Isabelle reminded me, and I had a dream p>

His jaw tightens. “The dream p>

I nod, my throat tightening. I don’t want to say it. I don’t want to relive it. But the words tumble out anyway. “It was about Alden. About the night he died p>

Kade’s face darkens, his usual cocky demeanor slipping away. “Fuck,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Ryder p>

“It was my fault, Kade,” I snap, my voice breaking. “I killed him. I might as well have put the knife in his chest myself. And now I can’t fucking breathe every time I think about it p>

Kade steps closer, his hand resting on my shoulder. “You didn’t kill Alden, Ryder. That wasn’t on you p>

“Bullshit,” I growl, shrugging him off. “It doesn’t matter what you say. I know what I did p>

For a moment, there’s silence. Just the sound of my ragged breathing and the distant hum of the pack going about their day.