Chapter 408 Awakening wolf

Viola sat there, processing the news of her pregnancy with such difficulty that she began to feel like an imposter for not clapping and beaming with joy, the way it seemed she was expected to feel, knowing she would be a mother. Surely every woman would be overjoyed, right? So why was she so terrified, stuck in this unreal state of mind, as though this moment were nothing but a dream she would soon wake up from?

Doctor Gilbert had given her a moment to process the news and gone back to his desk, and Viola was grateful to be alone in her corner for the time being. She slowly looked down at her flat belly without blinking, unable to believe there was a child growing inside her.

It was shocking, because she had once been a woman who didn’t care so much about children, and had made very elaborate plans that if she ever had a child, she wouldn’t raise it herself at all, she would hand it off to a nanny for all the trouble and chaos she believed came with having one.

She had never once seen herself as a mother, never cared for small children, until that competition, when she’d protected a little girl who had looked so distressed because of her own mother.

Viola was no longer the woman she once was. Her mindset had shifted so greatly that she would never allow even someone else’s child to suffer while she stood by and watched.

However, her mindset hadn’t fully shifted into that of a woman who desperately wanted children of her own, rather, she had become someone terrified of disappointing any child of hers the way her birth mother had disappointed her and her sister.

Viola feared she would never be a good mother to any child, which was why she had never really raised the topic of pregnancy with her husband again, even after he’d told her about the elders pressuring him for an heir. She had silently promised herself she would give him that heir, but had hoped it would happen at a time when she felt ready and was expecting it.

She had had unprotected sex with him constantly, believing it couldn’t result in a baby, not realizing there had still been a chance all along.

Had this been the old Viola, discovering she was pregnant now would have brought a bolt of disappointment and anger, perhaps even rage, and her first instinct might have been to end it. But this Viola felt no disappointment, no resentment, no rage…

There was only fear, and a feeling of being caught between the elation of wondering what the baby would be like, and the anxiousness of wondering what if she failed it or harmed it.

Slowly, she brought her hand to her flat belly and pressed her palm against it, and like a bolt of shock, Viola felt a fierce sense of protectiveness toward a baby that wasn’t even showing yet. The back of her eyes stung so badly that she blinked back tears and swallowed the large lump forming in her throat.

“Oh Lord, I am terrified…” She whispered to herself, wiping away the tears with one hand while keeping the other pressed against her belly, as though afraid the wrong movement might harm the child.

Viola took a deep, shaky breath, telling herself she could do this, that she wouldn’t fail, that she wouldn’t give an innocent child the kind of terrible future her own parents had given her and Ivy.

Sebastian would be beside her, and with him, she’d already discovered she could do a great many things, as long as he supported her. And she knew, without a doubt, that he would, that he would greet the news with far more excitement than her terrified heart currently held.

Furthermore, she was about to awaken her wolf, and with the strength that came with it, along with the respect owed to a Luna in their pack with a wolf, no one would dare make her life miserable again. Her child would be born into a far better environment than she ever had been.

With that thought, she comforted herself, composed her expression, and called out to Gilbert, “I’m ready.” Still, she didn’t remove her hand from her belly, she kept it there, as though to shield whatever was growing inside her.

Gilbert rose from his desk and came around to her side, letting out a smile. “I’d like to congratulate you, Supreme Luna. It’s very good news, and certainly something worth celebrating in Silver.”

“Thank you…” Viola murmured with a shaky smile. After a brief pause, she asked, “Can I take the IV drip now? I still need to return to the office and finish some work I left unfinished.”

Viola was still caught in that strange sense of unreality and needed somewhere quiet where she could be alone and process everything more fully. There was also the possibility of awakening her wolf today, if everything went as planned. Her heart leapt at the thought of two enormous things happening on the very same day, and she wasn’t sure she could handle the emotions that came with them all at once.

But something in Gilbert’s expression made her pause.

“I’m sorry, Supreme Luna. I created the antidote without accounting for the possibility of pregnancy, and now that this is the case, we have to proceed with caution. I’d like to find a willing pregnant she-wolf to test it on first, before I administer it to you. I don’t want to take the risk.”

Gilbert had spent days working on this antidote, and wanted nothing more than to deliver it to her before the full moon and the mermaid sacrifice the Alpha had spoken of. But risking her health now would accomplish nothing except ending his own life, and likely his entire family’s, since the Alpha would never forgive him for it if anything went wrong.

“I don’t believe there would be much risk. I can be a willing test subject for my own cure, Doctor Gilbert. What’s the worst that could possibly happen?” Viola said, unwilling to let this chance at a wolf slip away when it felt so close today.

“The worst that could happen is losing the child, Supreme Luna. The child is still at an early stage, and what I used to develop the cure could be harmful to a fetus at this point. I have to be certain it’s safe first.” He told her plainly. Killing the Alpha’s unborn child would, without a doubt, cost him everything.

Viola fell silent. It was either her unborn child or her wolf today. As eager and excited as she was, Viola didn’t want to risk the child’s life over her own impatience. It wasn’t as though the opportunity would vanish entirely, or that she’d lost her chance at a wolf forever, it could still happen. Just not today.

Risking it now, simply because she couldn’t wait, would cost her something far too great, while waiting a little longer would cost her nothing at all. And so she relented, even as a small disappointment settled quietly beneath her skin.

“Will you let me know once you’ve tested it?” She asked, and he gave her a firm nod.

“I will.”

“Thank you,” Viola said, beginning to rise from the bed. But as she reached for her shoes, she remembered something and looked up. “Can I ask you for a favor, please?”

“Anything, Supreme Luna.”