Chapter 190

Rafe’s POV
Her lips were fire against mine, defiant yet trembling with something she refused to name. I deepened the kiss, tilting my head and sliding my mouth harder over hers until her muffled protest turned into a soft gasp. That single sound broke through me like a spark in dry wood.
She clutched at my shirt, fisting the fabric as though she wanted to push me away, yet her grip pulled me closer instead. My hands tightened at her waist, feeling the fragile rise and fall of her breath as I pressed her firmly against the glass. The cold surface at her back only made the warmth of her body burn hotter beneath my touch.
When her lips parted, I took the opening without hesitation, sliding my tongue past her resistance to taste her fully. She met me with surprising fierceness, her tongue tangling with mine in a reckless battle neither of us seemed willing to end. It was wild, messy, nothing like restraint—an explosion of years of hate, fury, and something we didn’t wish to name. ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ʙʏ
Her fingers left my shirt and found their way to my neck, nails grazing my skin, as if to remind me that this was her revenge, her control. But each scratch only urged me further, only made me want to claim her mouth with more intensity.
I breathed her in, every maddening note of her scent wrapping around me, no longer suffocating but intoxicating. The world beyond that glass wall ceased to exist. The crackling of wood in the fireplace outside, my brothers’ voices carried faintly on the night air—none of it mattered.
Only her. Only this storm raging between us, her fury bleeding into passion as we kissed like enemies who couldn’t stop devouring each other.
When she tried to pull back again, panting, I chased her lips, brushing them with mine once more, refusing to let the connection break.
“You think you can end it here?” I whispered against her mouth, my voice rough with desire. “No, little witch. Not until I’ve had my fill.”
And before she could argue, I claimed her lips again, deeper, hungrier, until both of us were drowning.
After long when we stopped, both of us were utterly spent, panting heavily, and trying to calm ourselves.
I could sense her wolf was excited to mate with me and it was driving her crazy despite her not wanting it. As she was bonded to Kael, she was bonded to us four as well, despite not marking her. She felt the same effect of us on her the way Kael, her mate, had.
“Don’t worry, I don’t plan to fuck you,” I told her, my voice low and hoarse. “If I did, you’d be dead by the time I finished, drained of every drop of blood.”
She gasped, her eyes flashing with defiance. “Then fuck me. I want to die anyway.”
Damn. She still hadn’t abandoned her obsession with dying. Thankfully we haven’t told her yet about Raven. We couldn’t risk the little guy’s life.
“Trust me, my body wants you like crazy, but my mind stops me,” I told her, meeting her gaze steadily. “Just like how your mind wants to stop, but your body can’t resist us.”
She fell quiet as she couldn’t deny this truth. Her body, her wolf was bound to submit to us even when her mind screamed against it. She was utterly helpless in front of the natural instincts of the werewolf.
“You are not the only one fighting with your own beast. I am the same,” I continued. “Every moment, I am fighting with it to stop myself from coming to you. You are not the only pitiful creature here.”
Her gaze turned resolute. “What if I say my mind is ready as well as my body to let you fuck me?”
“Then I’d say I won’t fall for it,” I replied with a smirk. “If you’re searching for a killer, it won’t be me. So don’t act smart with me. I won’t be fucking you. Not now, not ever, not even in your dreams.”
I wasn’t lying when I said it. Even if I wouldn’t kill her and managed to go through mating without any harm to her, the other thing that stopped me from fucking her was — I never want to have a child with her.
What if I lose control and happened to impregnate her and then she gave birth to another monster like me. Better to not have a child ever than create one like me, only to put that child through the torment of life.
I won’t let it happen when I wasn’t even sure how long I could even stay by her side. One day I had to leave, and this passionate kiss with her would be the precious memory I was going to cherish till the last breath of my life. It was enough for me.
Clearly she was disappointed once more for being denied the death.
I moved away from her and then looked past through the glass window.
“Others are waiting for us,” I looked back at her, caressed her hair gently to fix them, “That kid is experiencing new things, let’s be by his side.”
As I said it, she turned and looked through the glass wall.
Kael was teaching Raven how to warm his hands over fire. And Raven seemed to like it. His small hands were trying to feel the warmth while keeping a safe distance.
Others were commenting something as well, while talking and laughing. That was a peaceful sight to see.
“You go ahead. I’ll get water for you,” I told her.
I needed time to calm down, a moment to be away from her. On the surface she might feel I was normal, but inside she didn’t know the beast was already thirsty for her blood. My fangs itched to get into her skin, to drink every last drop flowing through her veins.
I had already turned around to go to the kitchen, while she stepped out of the door. I knew she wanted to go to Raven.
Getting into the kitchen, I first pulled out the chilled water bottle and emptied it down my throat. I noticed my reflection in the clear dark surface of the refrigerator. I could see the veins along my temples and neck pop out, turning into a dark mesh.
I had to calm myself before I returned to her.