Chapter 405  Jason And Eira

Jason’s POV

I hurried upstairs to go to her, unsure what exactly to do or say. All I knew was to just go to her. Just as I reached the door of her room, I paused. I didn’t know if it would anger her even more, and if she didn’t want to see me.

I waited for a while before finally gathering the courage to knock on the door. There was no response from inside. But now that things had reached here, I didn’t want to leave.

I pushed open the door gently, not to startle her, and my eyes searched for her.

She was sitting on the other side of the bed, her back facing me. I silently walked towards her. When I reached her side, I saw an old box on her lap, her fingertips caressing it, her expression pained.

The same box where she stored her cherished things in the past.

I walked ahead and knelt before her.

“Eira,” I called softly.

She didn’t look at me but asked, “Do you know why this box is so important to me?”

“Because it carries your cherished memories, fragments of your past,” I answered.

She offered a light nod and said again, her tone low and emotional, her eyes silently scanning the stuff inside the box, “But most of them are the ones once related to you, our small past, the most beautiful and happiest memories I had. That’s why I wanted this box.”

She picked up the black pen lying at the bottom of it. “This is your pen, I found it but never returned it, because it was yours.” She picked up a half-broken small wooden thing. “Once your keychain broke, so you threw the broken part, but I was so silly to pick it up and keep it with me.”

She picked up the old ID card. “Once Jennifer was cleaning the house and found your old school ID card. She was about to throw it as it was of no use, but I stole it before she could.”

Her fingers caressed the small picture of mine on that Id Card, “Every day I used to stare at the picture on it and smile at how sweet and smart you looked as a young school boy, unlike the handsome and grown up guy I was seeing. At that time, you didn’t even look at me, but I was just in my dreamy world with you, already imagining you as someone important to me.”

I let her talk, empty her heart out.

She held the moon-shaped pendant in her fingers. “This is my most favorite, because it’s something you gifted me, not something I stole or kept. Even this note you wrote before leaving that night, I couldn’t bring myself to lose it.”

She finally looked at me, her eyes teary, filled with emotions she was feeling. “That’s the kind of idiot I was. I couldn’t keep you, but kept everything that belonged to you, and even now, even after so much has happened, I do not wish to lose it.”

I held her hands in mine, wanting to comfort her.

She sobbed a little, “I am an idiot, right? I know I am, but I don’t regret being an idiot.”

I squeezed her hands gently and said, “Maybe that’s why I returned this box to you.” I wiped her tears. “I am glad I kept it so one day I could return it to you.”

“Then why did you say it won’t matter to me if you are gone?” her crying voice carried a complaining and sad tone. “Why do you want to die?”

“I…” my own eyes teary, I let out a deep sigh. “I failed you. I hurt you. I do not deserve you, Eira.” The thought of how I lost her, the guilt of everything, turned my chest heavy, unable to breathe. “Your anger, your hate towards me, it’s right, and I understand it. I deserve it.”

“You don’t understand,” she shook her head, mumbling, her gaze lowered. “You still don’t understand.”

“Then tell me. Make me understand.” I cupped her face in my hands to make her look at me. “All I know is, I should have been the one to protect you, but I did nothing. Instead, I hurt you. Then how could I even think I deserved to be loved by you? If you say you don’t hate me, that makes me feel even worse. I would rather you hate me, show your anger, and question me why I didn’t protect you. Your silence feels worse than being blamed.”

“Your silence hurt me the same that night,” she spoke, as if reminding me of something. “When you came to see me in the prison, why were you silent? Why didn’t you show your anger just like Lucian did? He hurt me, blamed me, but you silently watched. Why didn’t you question me and blame me for murdering your sister? Why didn’t you say anything? Instead, you stayed silent and walked away. That hurt me more than if you had hurt me for killing Alice, just like Lucian did.”

Her words reminded me of that night when Lucian and I went to see her in the prison. We had just returned from the war and had to bury our mother.

Both of us were hurt and angry that we lost not just Alice but our mother. That night, Lucian and I drowned ourselves in alcohol and drugs to suppress our pain. But then Lucian insisted on going to see Eira.

When we saw her inside the prison cell, Lucian lost his temper and strangled Eira, asking her why she killed our sister and mother. He hit her a few times as well but couldn’t bring himself to kill her.

All the while, I silently stayed on the side, watching her like she was a stranger to me.

Whenever I thought about that night, all I remembered were her teary eyes looking at me, totally ignoring the hurt Lucian was causing her, as if she could see nothing but me.

Those eyes of hers haunted me all these years; the look in them pained me.