Chapter 474 The Wrong Door
Noah’s POV
I was still holding the phone when Delia came into the room.
Father’s voice had already left the line. The shape of it had not. He had called me like I still belonged to him. He had asked what Julian said. He had asked if I had talked. He had reminded me who fed me, clothed me, and filled both parent seats. Then I hung up on him, and my hand would not let the phone go.
Delia stopped in the doorway. “Who was that?”
“My father.”
She came closer. “What did he want?”
“What he always wants. Me, standing where he pointed.”
“And?”
“I said no.”
She waited for the rest. I did not give it to her. The secret was still in my chest, ugly and intact. I had not told Julian the truth. I had not told her either. Telling her would make it real in this house, and I was not ready to live with that kind of real.
“You look like he reached through the phone and put a hand around your throat,” she said.
“That is not far.”
“Noah.”
“I need air.”
“You need to stop running out of rooms when the truth gets close.”
I kissed her temple because I could not give her the answer she wanted.
“I’ll be back.”
I drove to the Windsor house without calling first. I told myself I was checking on Katia. I told myself I was making sure the warning I had delivered had been taken seriously. The truth was simpler. Father’s voice had left me raw, and I wanted to see if the other side of this war still had a door I could walk through without bleeding.
There were more men outside than last time.
Not loud about it. Not lined up like a show. Just present. A car that had not been there before. A man near the gate who looked at my face too long before he let me through. The house felt like it was waiting for something.
Katia met me in the front hall. She looked well. Better than the last time I had seen her in her office. The flowers I had brought her were gone. The watchfulness was not.
“Noah.”
“I wanted to see how you were.”
“I’m fine.” She glanced past me, then back. “Julian is in the study. You should talk to him. He is in a mood.”
“Because of me?”
“Because of your father. You are standing close enough to catch some of it.”
That was as kind as she was going to be, and I deserved less.
Julian did not stand when I came in. He looked at me like I had arrived late to a decision he had already made.
“I didn’t call,” I said.
“I noticed.”
“My father called me.”
That got his attention.
“What did he want?”
“He wanted me to come to his office. I said no. He wanted to know what you said when I brought you his message.”
“And you told him?”
“I told him you sent me home.”
Julian’s mouth tightened.
“He is reacting,” he said. “Stay out of the way.”
“Reacting to what?”
“To the fact that I am no longer sitting still because his son asked me to be patient.”
I sat down because my legs wanted an excuse.
“I didn’t ask you to be patient. I asked you to take the warning seriously.”
“I did. That is why there are more men at my gate. That is why my wife does not move alone. That is why you should not be in this house looking for a soft place to put your guilt.”
The words landed clean.
“I am not here to pick a side in front of you.”
“You already picked one when you kept your mouth shut.” He leaned forward. “I am not asking you to explain your father to me. I am telling you the window for standing in the middle is closed. He is angry. I am not waiting for him to finish being angry. Stay out of the way.”
“Julian.”
“Noah.” He said my name like a line on the floor. “If you came here to see if Katia is breathing, she is. If you came here to see if I still trust you, the answer is smaller than it was last week. If you came here to warn me again without saying the thing you will not say, save it. I already heard you.”
I looked at the desk, then at him.
“He will not let this go.”
“I know.”
“I don’t think the next thing he does will be a conversation.”
“I know that too.”
The room went quiet. I wanted to tell him the rest. I could feel it at the back of my teeth. The study. The emails. The way Father had looked at me when he said he would try again. I swallowed it. He was still my father. That fact had not become smaller because Julian had become colder.
“I should go,” I said.
“Yes.”
Katia walked me back to the door. Aiden’s voice came from somewhere deeper in the house, bright and ordinary, and the sound of it made my stomach twist. A child in a house that had extra men at the gate because I had delivered a threat and kept the reason.
“He is not going to make this easy for you,” Katia said.
“I know.”
“Then stop coming here looking like you want someone to forgive you for a thing you will not name.”
I nodded. It was the only honest thing I had left.
On the drive home I kept hearing both voices. Father telling me I was still his son. Julian telling me to stay out of the way. I had wanted to keep both men from exploding. I had failed at both. I could not warn Julian properly without burning my father. I could not calm Father without becoming his messenger again.
Delia was in the kitchen when I came back. She took one look at me and did not ask who I had seen. She already knew.
“Well?” she said.
“Julian told me to stay out of the way.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Yes. You cannot hold both of them. You keep trying, and it is eating you.”
I stood there with my keys still in my hand.
Father would not let this go. Julian was no longer asking questions. The next blow would not be a conversation. I still did not know what it would look like. I only knew I would see it coming too late, because I had put myself in the one place that could not protect anybody.
The middle.