Chapter 800
Judy’s POV
By the time I pulled into the parking space in front of the villa, the villa’s lights were a soft scatter of gold across the stone. It shouldn’t have been like warmth. It looked like a stage set waiting for its actors.
I already figured that Gavin wasn’t going to be here, but my wolf still whimpered at the loss of him. She needed her mate right now; our world seemed to have turned upside down today. Finding out about my birth mother and her potential fate nearly destroyed me.
I wondered what family she came from… what family I came from. Whoever they were, I wondered if they knew I still existed and if they wondered about me in the same way that I wondered about them.
I told myself that I was fine. That the drive back had helped, that breathing with my hand on my belly had helped, that putting distance between me and everything that I found out had helped. But the moment I stepped into the manor, greeted by Adam, who gave me a small head nod, my mind went back to that kitchen table.
There was one thing I knew for certain: I was part of a family that was so powerful it made my birth mother run and then hide me with the Montagues. She was so afraid that she willingly gave me away.
The lump in my throat was tough to swallow, and my hands trembled no matter how many times I tried to calm them.
“Is anyone home?” I asked Adam, who remained perched at the doorway as he always was.
“Only Irene,” he replied. “Master Matthew is at school, and Alpha Landry is at his office. But he’ll be home within a couple of hours.”
I nodded, hating how vulnerable I felt at that moment.
I went into the kitchen, and the kitchen staff, who were in the middle of speaking in hushed whispers, stopped the moment I entered. They paused, glancing at me with forced smiles, and bowed their heads in my direction.
“Good afternoon, future Luna,” one of them said, quickly bowing her head. “There’s a plate of food prepared in the fridge if you are hungry.”
I wasn’t hungry, but I smiled politely.
“Thank you,” I told her. “But I think I’m just going to make myself some tea.”
“Allow us to make you tea,” another staff member said quickly as she rushed to grab a mug.
“It’s okay,” I said a little too quickly. “I can do it myself. Honestly, it’s fine.”
“Oh, but Madam, it’s our job,” she insisted.
I stepped towards her, putting my hand on the mug that she was now holding. I gave her a small smile, trying to look like I had my shit together and not at all like I was falling apart on the inside.
“Truly, I’d like to do it myself,” I told her.
After a moment, she nodded and stepped back.
I boiled water, my hands craving the work, and stood at the counter while the kettle built itself towards a scream. I was wildly aware that I was being watched, but I tried not to pay them any attention.
When the kettle finally whistled, I poured the hot water over a teabag, because that’s what you do when your brain is loud… You make something simple happen, and you keep your hands busy. The mug warmed my palms; I breathed in steam.
It didn’t help, but maybe that was because there were still eyes on me despite their best efforts to keep busy in the kitchen.
Cleaning and preparing for a later meal.
I took the tea into the back parlor and curled on the end of the couch where I’d learned the perfect angle to watch the fire without getting overheated. The lights were dim; the scene of Gavi on the floor over my knees pressed against the loneliness, and I couldn’t quite hold back. I told myself to let the day go; I told myself that I was safe and loved and I had everything I wanted in life… so why didn’t it seem like enough? Why did I feel so lost?
I set the tea down on the coffee table and placed my hands over my belly, feeling the light fluttering of my baby. Warmth spread through my body; I was going to be a mom… I couldn’t imagine ever being so afraid of something that I would willingly give up my baby.
“I would never walk away from you…” I whispered. “We are in this together. You’re my entire heart…”
Tears burned my eyes, and I had to blink them away. The last thing I needed was for someone to walk in and see my blubbering like a baby.