Chapter 198

Chapter 198

ARIA

“I came straight here,” I said, which was mostly true if you didn’t count the eavesdropping detour.

Finished

“What’s wrong?” Kael asked, studying my face. “You look upset. Did something happen on your way back p>

“Nothing,” I said quickly. Too quickly. “Nothing happened. I’m fine. Just tired from dinner and all the excitement about the Hunt p>

Kael looked like he wanted to push, wanted to dig deeper into what was clearly bothering me. But ultimately he just nodded, accepting my deflection the way he’d been accepting all my deflections lately.

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms.

I went to him, letting him pull me close, his arms wrapping around my waist in a embrace that was both comforting and intimate. His skin was still slightly damp from the shower, warm and solid against me. He smelled clean-soap and water and something fundamentally Kael underneath it all.

“We never get time for this,” he murmured into my hair, his hands beginning to move against my back in slow, deliberate strokes. “Time to just be together. To be intimate without crisis interrupting or pack business demanding attention p>

His touch was becoming less comforting and more deliberately seductive. Hands sliding lower, pressing me closer against him, his lips finding the sensitive spot on my neck that always made me shiver.

I let myself respond. Let myself sink into the physical connection, into the heat building between us. Let him guide me toward the bed, let him remove my formal dinner clothes with hands that were both gentle and purposeful.

This was what we had. Physical compatibility. The mate bond that made touching him feel right even when everything else felt complicated. The simple fact that despite all my doubts and insecurities, he still wanted me physically. Still chose to be intimate with me rather than avoiding it or treating it as obligation.

His towel disappeared somewhere between the doorway and the bed. His body covered mine, his weight comforting and arousing in equal measure. His mouth found mine and I kissed him back with everything I had, trying to lose myself in sensation, in the moment, in the physical reality of being wanted even if I wasn’t the one he would have chosen in different circumstances.

But even as I let myself get lost in his touches, even as my body responded to his with eager familiarity, even as pleasure built toward inevitable conclusion-part of my mind couldn’t stop wondering.

Did he wish I was her?

Deep down, in the part of himself he couldn’t control or rationalize or suppress for the sake of political necessity-did he wish the body beneath him was Ivory’s? Did he compare us? Did he remember how she’d felt, how she’d responded, how they’d been so consumed with each other that they’d injured themselves in the wilderness because waiting wasn’t an option?

Was he thinking about recovered memories while he made love to me? About the possibility of Aryada returning what he’d lost? About having access again to years of intimacy and connection that I could never match or replace?

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19.30 Sal, Jall IU C

Chapter 198

ཛཱ 50%

Finished

He was too noble to act on those wishes if they existed. Too loyal to our bond, too committed to the choice he’d made, too aware of pack politics and appropriate behavior to do anything that would betray me or complicate our already fraught situation.

But wanting and acting were different things. He could want her while choosing me. Could wish for something different while honoring what he had. Could carry torch for a relationship that never got its proper ending while building something new with the woman circumstances had given him.

“Aria,” Kael breathed against my neck, bringing me back to the present. “Where did you go? You’re here but you’re not here p>

“I’m here,” I assured him, wrapping my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. “I’m right here. With you p>

And I was. Physically, at least. My body was present and responsive and engaged in what we were doing.

But mentally?

Mentally I was in the garden, listening to Aryada offer to restore memories that might change everything.

But I tried. I forced myself to focus on sensation rather than thought.

Kael deserved that much. Deserved a partner who was present during intimacy rather than spiraling through anxiety and comparison and fear of recovered memories.

So I gave him what I could.

And I tried not to think about whether it would ever be enough.

Send Gifts

40

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19:38 Sat, Jan 10 GG

Mated To My Mate’s Worst Enemy

Mark