Chapter 346
IVORY
I thought about what Sera had said. About the letter. About what I’d done, when I’d written to Luna Margaret and set things in motion.
I’d done it because Kael was deteriorating and the curse was progressing and I’d years watching it happen and I couldn’t watch it happen anymore.
spent three
I’d done it because I’d identified Aria’s bloodline compatibility from information that i had then and had suspected of what bloodline she carried and i never told kael because kael was someone who believed in loving someone and going through worse times rather than leave and choose the easier option.
I had done that because kael was willing to die loving me, and i couldn’t bear to see him dead irrespective of how that left us.
I’d done it because I loved Kael. Not in the way that Sera was trying to use – not the grasping, possessive, I-want-what’s-mine version. In the way that had lived in me since we were kids and i had only Nina as my guardian after both our parents were dead.
That was what Sera didn’t understand and couldn’t understand, because it required a kind of love that she’d never had access to. The kind that could hold the other person’s wellbeing as more important than your own desires and still be love rather than self-erasure.
I was not erased. I was here, in my clinic, with five thousand moon cedis in my pocket, because money laundering when done to people you despise was another kind of happiness and a broken instrument to reorder and a rule that had just done its job.
I was fine.
The letter was a complication. I’d think about it when Sera and whatever she’d decided to do with it became a clearer picture.
For now, there was cleanup to do, and an evening session to prepare for, and a rule that needed to be properly documented in the orientation manual at a font size that nobody could reasonably claim not to have seen.
“Margo,” I called,
She appeared at the door with the efficiency that I had spent months appreciating since she
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was sacked from aria’s service and would never stop appreciating.
“Already starting the reorder list,” she said. “And the maintenance bill is drafted. Shall I add a line item for the instrument?”
“Add two, double the price of everything broken.” I said. “I’m going to need a spare.”
She made a note and disappeared.
Kael was still standing near the door with the expression of a man who had questions he was deciding whether to ask.
“She’ll need the evening session,” I said, before he could get to them. “The silver poisoning is real. Whatever else she came here for, the medical situation is genuine and at a level that needs treatment. The Luna approval process is now formally in effect, and-” I met his eyes steadily, “—Aria will handle it the way she handles things. Which is better than it used to be.”
Something in his expression acknowledged this without making it into more than it was.
“The letter,” he said.
“Later,” I said. “Not no
not here. When there’s time to talk about it properly.” I held his gaze. “I did what I did for this pack. You know that.”
He looked at me for a long moment. Long enough that I could see him deciding whether to confront me or leave it aside.
“Later,” he agreed.
Nina had finished her documentation and was already moving toward the door with the purposeful efficiency of someone who had seventeen follow-up tasks and was beginning the first of them. “I’ll update the manual,” she said. “Full page. Large font. Formatted for clarity.”
“Thank you,” I said.
They left. The clinic returned to the quiet it usually had between consultations quiet of a space that was resting before the next thing it was asked to do.
I stood in the middle of it and breathed.
the working
The five thousand moon cedis were still in my pocket. The broken instrument was still on the floor. The letter existed somewhere in Sera Quinn’s bag, which was somewhere in Shadowmere’s territory, which was a problem for a slightly later version of this day.
I picked up the instrument from the floor and set it on the reorder tray.
O
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One thing at a time.
It was how all of this got done.