Chapter 139

Chapter 139
“ Yeah, I actually am chasing a ghost. Yours is metaphorical.”
I look at him. I’ve got all these thoughts spinning in my head, but I trust Tyler to tell me the truth.
“Do you think Sebastian is right? Am I holding myself back?”
“One hundred percent,” he says, but he gives me a knowing look. “But I understand why.”
I huff. “Does everyone see it but me?”
“ In my opinion? Yes. Well, maybe not Logan, but I’m not sure he
counts. ”
I laugh at that, then I look at him again as we hit the halfway mark. “What validation are you looking for this morning?”
“What if I really don’t measure up to Tanner’s standards?” he asks quietly.
“I’m sorry, who’s shoes are you trying to wear? His or yours?” 1 ask him.
“I’m not sure mine are sufficient,” he says.
I
“I think that you should stop worrying about whether or not you‘ re better than Tanner and start focusing on being the best Alpha you can be. You’re not in a competition with your brother. Don’t do what I’ve been doing and call the fight before it’s event begun. Give yourself a chance to succeed. I don’t know how
your brother earned more points than you have in the first two weeks. I don’t think that’s possible. You’ve earned so many, Tyler. But so what if he did? Maybe he earned all his points in two weeks and then got lazy, ” I say, making him laugh.
“This is what I’ve been thinking about this morning. Why am I holding myself back? What is it that’s holding me back?” I say.
“ And did you come up with an answer?” he asks.
“I think Sebastian’s right. I think I’ve been afraid of what it would mean if I was better than my brother. But then I realized that Dane’s been pushing me to take these classes since I started here two years ago. I think he did it for a reason.”
“Because he sees the same thing in you that the rest of us do. Honestly, Christina, it’s not hard to see. You’d have to be wearing blinders not to see it. I don’t know your brother, but if he’s anything like you, he’d want to see you succeed,” he says and I stop running, turning to look at him.
“Say that again.”
“If your brother is anything like you, he’d want to see you. achieve y r best, to be the best Alpha you can be, even if it means being a better Alpha than he is,” he says, making me smile. I tilt my head at him, waiting.
He stares at me a moment and then he chuckles. “And I could say the same thing to myself.”
I hold out my hand to him. “So, we’re agreed. We’re both going to do our best, become the best versions of ourselves that we can be without trying to hold ourselves to whatever standards. WE’VE put on ourselves based on our brothers, right?”
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He shakes my hand. “Right.”
We turn and start Jogging again. “I may need a reminder, though,” he says, glancing over at me.
“Oh, I definitely will. More than one. I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine,” I say.
“Deal.”
Sebastian catches me after breakfast asking me how I’m doing and if I need to talk. I let him know that Tyler and I talked this morning and I just need to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling around inside me right now.
“I’d like to meet tonight. I’ve had a thought that I’d like to discuss with you,” he says.
“Alright.” I’m curious about what his idea is, but I don’t ask. If he wanted to discuss it now, he would have.
It’s mid–morning when Luna Josephine arrives. She’s built just like Sylvie and Mia, but with strawberry–blond hair and greenish- brown eyes. She obviously still works out and she definitely doesn’t lo old enough to be a grandmother. Although wolves do have great genetics and tend to look younger than they are as they age.
She and Sylvie hug like old friends and as soon as Sylvie releases her, Mia pulls her into a hug. I feel the sting of sadness. This is just one more group that I’ll never have a place in because I didn’t find my mate. I’ll never be a retired Luna.
“Luna Josephine, welcome back to the Academy,” James says, walking up.
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I see not much has changed since you two are still hanging around, she says, hugging first James and then Sebastian,
“ I’m working on getting a bronze of myself made to put at the entrance so it’s the first thing you see when you exit the train,” James says, making her laugh.
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