Chapter 235

Enya
I don’t know why it’s harder at night, but it is. I tried to avoid it, tried to resist going to Christian. But I felt better in his arms last night and as the grief begins to overwhelm me, I make my way to his room.
I can hear that he’s talking to someone, but I knock anyway, hoping that I’m not interrupting anything. I’m thankful when he opens the door with a phone to his ear.
“Dad, I have to go,” he says.
He opens his arms, and I practically collapse into them. He picks me up easily, carrying me into his room that already smells like him.
“I’ve got you,” he says, sitting down and getting me settled in his lap. He’s not wearing a shirt, but something about being skin to skin with him, smelling the lingering scent of soap mingled with his masculine scent helps to calm me.
“Why is it harder at night?” I ask as the tears stream down my cheeks.
“It’s quiet at night. You don’t have the distractions of people talking to
you,
the pack being noisy around you. It’s just you and your thoughts or memories,” he says softly, rocking me gently.
I fist my hand against his chest. If he was wearing a shirt, I would be holding on to it.
“When does it get easier?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I wish I could take this pain from you. I wish I could
Chapter 36
make this easier for you, but grief is just something that you have to drag yourself through. There’s no casy way around it.”
I nod, letting him hold me.
“Thank you for coming to me tonight. I know you’re grieving, but you don’t have to do it alone.”
“I miss them,” I say as a fresh wave of tears begin pouring down my cheeks.
“From everything I’ve heard from you and Shane, your parents were good parents. They obviously loved you both very much,” he says.
I nod against his chest, lifting my face until it’s tucked up against his throat. He stills and I wonder if this is too vulnerable of a position for him, but then he begins rocking me again.
“I don’t know why, but I feel safe in your arms,” I say, my vulnerability making me more honest than I u. am.
“You are safe. I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you.”
I nod again, letting his strong arms, his foresty scent, and the gentle rocking motion soothe me.
“You were talking to your dad?” I ask.
“I was. My family is going to come visit this weekend. You’ll get to meet my mother, you said you wanted to.”
“Yes. I think she must be very different from mother.”
my
“Different doesn’t mean one of them is better than the other. I’m sure your mother’s life was different from my mother’s. Most Alpha females haven’t taught at the Academy, or at least, the ones my mother’s age
haven’t.”
“Is she a strong fighter like you?”
“She’s fantastic,” he says. “She taught the strength class at the Academy most of the semesters she wasn’t pregnant or nursing. Between her, my father, and Alpha James, I had quite the lessons in fighting during my childhood.”
“Who is Alpha James?” I ask him. I begin absently running my fingers over his chest while I listen.