Chapter 129

“FUCK!”
Fuck I miss my brother. He was the perfect Alpha. He was the true Alpha heir, and I am nothing more than an imposter. An imposter who somehow has to become an Alpha strong enough to bring my brother’s pack out of their grief and accept me as his replacement.
I pull myself together enough to go down for dinner. In the hall, I run into Ezra.
“Hey man, you okay? ” he asks, reaching out to grip my arm.
I shy away. “Don’t. Please. I’m too raw.”
He holds up his hands and nods. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
I nod, focusing all my attention on not fucking falling apart in front of everyone dinner.
I eat, but the food tastes like cardboard in my mouth. After dinner, it’s time to give out tokens, but I can’t think of any to give out, so I don’t.
I’ve been staring at the table in front of me, using every bit of my strength to hold myself together when I see her figure in front of me.
I look up into Haley’s very concerned face.
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“These are for you, Tyler. You once again gave me the best orgasms of my life. There’s one for each of them and another for a great night’s sleep that I attribute to you,” she says.
“Thank you, Haley,” I say, forcing a smile. It must look more like a grimace because the look on her face only becomes more worried.
As soon as everything is done, I bolt out of the dining hall and back to my room.
It isn’t long before I hear her soft knock at my door.
I open the door. I don’t know what she sees on my face, but she steps into the room, closing the door, and then wraps her arms around me.
That’s all it takes for me to break completely. I hold her like she‘ s a fucking lifeline as I sob into her neck. She doesn’t say a word, she just holds me tighter, letting me cry myself out.
When I finally collect myself, I step back. “I’m so sorry,” I say, turning away and getting a tissue to wipe my eyes and nose.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t know what happened, but I know this is hell week. Whatever they did to break you worked.”
I nod, still not looking at her.
“What can I do to help you, Tyler?”
I know what I want, but I shouldn’t.
“I shouldn’t ask it of you,” I tell her.
She slides her hand over my face, cupping it and gently rubbing
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her thumb over my cheek.
“I want to help you. I’ll do anything you need, Tyler. You’re too good of a person and an Alpha to hurt like this. Let me help take at least some of your pain away.”
I look in her eyes, searching for any trace of hesitation, but there isn’t any.
“I want to be you, Haley. Not as an Alpha and his partner. I want to be with you as a man and a woman. I want to be with you as a woman that I care about very deeply. You can say no, ” I say, unable to look her in the eye as I face her rejection.
She tilts my head up, forcing me to look at her.
“Yes, Tyler.”
I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding, then I take her in my arms, kissing her like I’m a drowning man lost at sea and she’s the only safe harbor in the world.
As out of control as I feel, being with Haley feels right. Just kissing her helps me regain some control and as I slowly strip her and touch her body, I feel the raw edges of my pain and grief ebb slightly.
Her gentle hands pull my shirt over my head as I kiss her and touch her and then she’s undoing my shorts, pushing them and my boxer briefs off my hips.
I lay her on the bed like I always do, but this time, I pull the sheets down. I want to make love to her IN my bed, not on it.
When we get on the bed, I settle myself between her thighs,
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holding myself above her. I pull away from the kiss, stroking her face as I look at her.
“Are you sure, Haley?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Tyler. Take what you need from me. Let me help ease your pain. Let me do this for you,” she says softly.
I hold her gaze as I line myself at her entrance and slowly slide inside her. She feels as warm and inviting as I knew she would.
“Are you okay?” I ask her.
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