Chapter 109

Darrien.
I turn around to the sound of the voice and Eligio is staring at us with confusion and worry on his face.
I release a sigh of relief at the fact that it is just him. El will understand this. he is one of my kind.
’’You are supposed to be in the caves, why are you out here and where are you escaping to?’’
I walk over to him, slowly releasing Jabi’s hand from mine. ’’We need to leave the community. We will be back tomorrow.’’
He frowns ’’Why? Are you having second thoughts about this?’’
I shake my head ’’This is not about second thoughts. I don’t feel like this is supposed to be the way for me.’’
’’What are you even saying? This is the only way this can work.’’
’’What if this is not how it is supposed to happen. Jules and Alby said it will be instinctual. Well, my instincts kept telling me to leave.’’
He sighs and then runs his hands through his hair ’’Just so you know, this is a fucking risk are you willing to take it with all the consequences that will come from this.’’
He is wrong. There will only be returns from this decision. Deep down, I feel it in my bones. This is the right move, and I don’t think anyone else will understand. No one knows how I feel, they don’t understand that Jabi is my lifeline. I want him a lot more than they even know. So why the fuck will I risk things with him if I wasn’t so sure, in my heart that this is the right decision.
’’I didn’t connect to the caves. It didn’t feel like it was for me,’’
He nods ’’What about the kid, is he okay with this?’’
We both glance at Jabi and he is watching me, in the corner, not saying anything. he said he was okay with it, I believe him. I trust him.
’’Yes, he is. You have to admit that he doesn’t actually get along with this pack. He never did.’’
’’They are still his family. You are trying to make him one of us but you seem to forget that he is a wolf.’’
I haven’t forgotten.
I know that he is a wolf, I love him for who he is. I am not trying to make him anything. the only thing I want from him is happiness. As long as he is happy, I will be okay.
’’That is not it. El, you have to believe me. being in that cave with him felt wrong. I didn’t connect with it at all.’’
He sighs ’’So where do you plan to go now?’’
I shrug ’’Our home,’’ I answer him immediately, without a doubt.
The day I asked him to come and stay with me. that apartment became ours. I don’t plan of ever staying there again without him.
’’You mean your apartment?’’
I nod.
’’You are so fucking stubborn Dar. You know father is going to murder you when he finds about all this. you didn’t even get his approval,’’ he reminds me.
Yes, I didn’t tell him about this because when I decided to do this ritual, I didn’t want anyone to spill doubts in my mind. I know he doesn’t support this. he doesn’t believe in all that is happening and from the meeting he had with Alanis, I can tell he won’t agree to mine.
’’We will deal with Cranwell later, are you gonna help me get out of here, who is on guard duty right now?’’
’’Me and Olin, Bells went in to check in on her mate.’’
I smile.
’’You can help me get out of here. Please tell me you won’t mention this to anyone.’’
He rolls his eyes ’’The only person I will tell is Elu and she is inside right now.’’
Eligio leads us to the gates and when we get there, Olin in front of the gate with a determined look on his face. ’’Wait here,’’ El suggests. We are hidden in a bush, not so invisible but good enough. we watch him walk over to the wolf and Jabi grabs my hand in his nervously.
I know this is a lot for him. Maybe I am asking for too much from him. this is all overwhelming to him. Having to deal with all this at once. I didn’t even give him enough time to handle all this. like a tsunami, I flooded his whole world.
You are my world.
I freeze at those words. My eyes are on him, he didn’t say a thing but I heard him, loud and clear in my head. could this be the mind link they have been talking about?
Yes, try it too.
He smiles at me, still looking at me with the same intense stare.
I don’t know what to say.
He giggles out loud and then covers his mouth so as not to be heard. We both look at Eligio and he is still talking to Olin.
I face Jabi again.
Tell me how much you love me.
I smile.
That is easy.
I love you as much as I love myself, fuck maybe even more and the only way you can understand that is if you know that I love myself so fucking much. I love you more than words ever could describe.
We remain in silence and I know he heard me even though I didn’t say it out loud. Our minds are connected. This is a new occurrence; this is something that Beau and Alanis share. Does that mean that my decision to leave the caves is the right one?
’’Come on,’’ Eligio walks back and interrupts our staring contest.
I grab Jabi again and the gate is empty now ’’What did you say to him?’’
He smiles ’’I tricked him into thinking he needed to pee.’’
I raise a brow and then release a chuckle at the fact that he manipulated the guy and of all things. Eligio opens the gate ’’This is where I leave you. I hope this works for you.’’ He waves in the air.
I squeeze Jabi for some sort of comfort, me needing a lot of it right now. The moment we leave this community, there is no going back. We can’t come back and undo everything. this was my decision and even though Jabi is with me along the ride, if things go south, I will blame myself. It will be my fault. So, I have to be hopeful, I have to believe that just as this was chosen for me, this love between us, so is this decision. It has to be as right as our love.
The gates close and Eligio leaves us to the silence of the woods. The trees whistle as the creatures in the night sing. It is dark but I can see it clearly. I know the way out of these woods, with my super speed I can get us home in a couple of minutes.
’’I am going to carry you home,’’ I inform him.
He shakes his head ’’I am fast too. I can do this too,’’ he folds his arms across his chest. The most adorable expression on his face. the only reason why I want him in my arms, is to keep him safe. I know he is fast; I have run with him before.
These woods are not safe right now, Cassius is still lurking around. I can’t risk anything happening to him.
’’You have to trust me on this.’’
’’But…’’—I stop him with a glare. This is actually not the time to be having this discussion. We are in the middle of the woods; it is not safe, and I need him to be safe. That is my priority.
’’Okay,’’ he sighs in defeat.
I stretch my hands out for him and he walks into them, slowly I lift him up until he is in my arms bridal style. ’’This is weird,’’ he groans.
I chuckle ’’How about you go on my back. Will that make you feel better?’’
He nods at once, so I obey him and place him on my back gently. He wraps his arms around my neck and his leg around my waist. I use my super sight to see ahead of us. I need to make sure there is nothing dangerous ahead before I start this journey.
You got this.
Jabi sends me another mind link. I think this is the one way he can communicate with me without filtering his words. I like this so much, I am so thankful right now.
I start the run holding unto him tighter, it takes approximately five minutes to get to the main road and once I do, I go faster. I keep running until I get to the front of my building. My eyes look up to the sky, the moon silently calls me. I feel something I haven’t felt all night.
There is a sensation within.
Something screaming to me, telling me that there are no mistakes when it comes to love.
I finally feel ready for this ritual.