Chapter 505

Jabi
I feel so happy.
Just a couple of hours ago, I had so much self-doubt and now I am ecstatic. I am lost in a world that Darrien created. A world where I don’t have to think about all the things that happened. A world where Lenny doesn’t even exist.
I don’t even know how the switch came about but there is only joy in my heart. Everything else is inconsequential.
He is the only one that matters, the only one that I think about.
“You are smiling,’’ he points out and I open my eyes to see him staring at me–as he usually does.
Darrien also has a dreamy expression plastered on his face.
I literally just had the best sex of my life–I know I say all sex with Darrien is the best sex of my life but this time is different. There was something about tonight that made it different.
A lot has happened and I needed him more than I have ever needed him. I needed the assurance that the love he has for me would never fade and he gave it to me.
He showed me
that he loves me in ways I never thought possible.
Like I said. I am stuck in a world where all that matters is the love he has for me.
I wanted to give him everything and in return, I receive the most beautiful gift.
Tonight, he showed me that he will give everything to me.
He made love to me all night and followed me in my dreams afterward.
I didn’t know it was possible to feel so good about yourself. I didn’t know it was possible to love yourself as I do at this point.
I was filled with a joy that I didn’t know
I could feel.
I don’t know what I did to deserve him. But I am so grateful for what he has given me.
“I am happy,’’
I say with a smile, “I feel like I have been given a second chance at life.
I had doubts but they are gone now.
I am happy now.’’
“I love you so much Jabi’’ Darrien says the smile on his face never leaving. He pulls me closer to him even though the sun is threatening us to wake up and get off the bed. I rest my head on his chest
and wrap my arms around him.
“I love you too,’’ I say and give a smile–the real smile. “I love you so much Darrien,’’
He pulls me closer to him and kisses me just like he did last night.
It is the most romantic thing he has ever done for me.
All of my anxieties are gone now. “You need food, I need to feed you,’’ he jumps off the bed suddenly and I know he has given in to the pressure of a new day. I wish we could stay in bed all day; I wish we didn’t have to think about reality. I want to be in this bubble for a little while longer but I know Darrien probably wants to get us back home.
He is naked but that doesn’t stop him. My eyes drift to my favorite part of him and he chuckles as he follows my stare.
I watch him as he rests his hands on the bed “So what is our craving for today?’’ he asks me playfully.
I sit up on the bed and my eyes never leave his “I don’t know, you?’’ I suggest with a smirk. I am messing with him and he seems to like it. I lie back down and rest my head on the pillow.
I can’t stop looking at him and I know he is staring at me as we speak.
“Come on baby, get up. Don’t be lazy,’’ he grabs my hand and pulls me up again. “You are hungry but you are choosing to be a baby.’’
I smile “Food.’’
He rolls his eyes “What food. There are so many things to choose from. I don’t know what you need.” He pouts and I smile even wider.
“Food, food.’’
“Like real food?’’ he asks me with a serious face.
I nod. “Yes, like normal food.’’
He laughs at me and his eyes twinkle, “You haven’t had blood in a day. I took some from Lenny’s fridge if you want.”
I shake my head “I don’t want blood.”
“Why not?’’ he furrows his brows in question.
I shrug “No reason.’’
I can tell he is not going to let it go. He stares at me for a few minutes before he sits up.
“Do you actually not have the craving for it or you just don’t want it.’’
I shrug again “I don’t know. I just don’t think I need it.’’
“What?’’ he laughs. “You know you actually need it to survive.’’
I shrug “I will be fine without it. I don’t want to have those bloodthirst moments anymore.”
“Why?’’ he is staring at me so intently.
He is going to make a big deal out of this.
“Jabi, we talked about this. You promised not to think about it anymore.’’
“I am not,’’ I tell him.
He scoffs “Then drink blood, show me that you still don’t feel bad about everything thing that went down.”
“So, if I don’t drink right now, you wouldn’t believe me?”
“Yes.’’
I chuckle because he is worrying over nothing.
“Fine.’’
He jolts off the bed and walks over to the fridge, still naked. I watch him as he brings out a flask. It looks so familiar, that I feel this pang in my chest. I don’t want to drink it. I don’t want to disappoint him.
I can’t get it out of my head that from now on, I will have to end up remembering everything that happened with Lenny. I will remember killing him.
I don’t want that.
I let go of the flask as he continues to stare at me. I know he wants me to tell him how I am feeling but I don’t even know.
I don’t want to drink the blood.
I don’t want this part of me that exists anymore.
“I can’t.’’
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