Chapter 590

Rex
I have been scared all my life.
I have always hidden behind Beau. He was always my ’get out of jail card’ I would use him as the excuse for why I couldn’t do anything. I have never led a haunt, I have never physically fought with anyone in my life. I always saw myself as a loser. The one person that would always be defeated.
Even now, with all that we have been dealt with, I tried to find a way to escape. I was willing to leave my mates to an unknown fate, so I didn’t have to be in the fight.
I will always be a coward.
I will always be scared but I want to do something—anything. I want to contribute to this fight. I want to feel among for once in my life. It is easy to let Darrien just do it but I also want to. I want to prove that I am more than the omega that is fated to be a coward.
I am more than our ancestors have made me out to be.
I want to do this.
“If you are going to do this, I suggest you get on with it,’’ Darrien coughs out impatiently.
I understand that there is no time for this dilly-dallying that I am doing but my nerves are all over the place. I don’t know how I am going to do this but it is all I want to do, the only thing that will make me feel good about all that has happened.
“Okay,’’ I take a deep breath as I reach for her. She is dressed in a white gown and her hair is flowing down her shoulders.
“Just rip out her heart, that is the best way to do this,’’ he suggests.
I will help. Bring me out.
My wolf tells me and instantly I feel my claws come out of my finger. The pain is not as much as it would be if I fully transforms. Darrien is watching me, I can feel his gaze on me. He is not sure if I can do this but I know I can.
“Come on, we have five minutes left. There is no time again.” He pushes me. The pressure doesn’t help but I do what I need to do as I reach for her chest.
“So it is easy, all you have to do is dig in and then bore into her chest. Come on.” he urges me impatiently. I follow his instructions but my hand still shakes. I feel her skin as I press into it with my claws, the sounds make my skin crawl. Blood splatters out of her chest. A dead person is not supposed to have blood. I have been treating her as a dead person but she is alive and still breathing. In an instant, her eyes open.
I jolt away from her and my hand falls to my sides. “Shit,’’ I exclaim as blood starts to gush out of her.
“Finish what you started,’’ he yells at me.
Her eyes are still open but she is not moving. She is just staring up at the ceiling. My legs tremble as I try to walk over to her again but I can’t move.
“Come on Rex, if you don’t do it, I will have to on my own.’’
He sounds like he wants me to do this but I am so scared. I suddenly feel this wave of insecurity that I have been trying to push away. “Do it now, rip it out,’’ he tells me as I succeed in taking more steps to her.
I have to psyche myself up for it but I am back on her again and this time, I want it to be done fast. My hand pushes into her and this time, I feel everything. All the anger that I have felt since we came here. All the anger that I have held. From my parent’s death to growing up, everything comes rushing in.
I don’t even see anything as I feel her heart, as it beats against the tips of my fingers. The fear that has been pulling me down completely vanishes as I pull out her heart. My hands clutch it tightly. Somehow I don’t want to let go of it. My breath is ragged, sweat trickles down my face as I hold on to her heart.
“Done, look at her,’’ he comments and my eyes find their way to her body.
Her skin is paler than it was a second ago. Her eyes are still open but white. She looks dead. This is how she was supposed to look when we opened the coffin.
“I did it?’’
He smiles. This is the first time I have seen a genuine smile from him since he came to pick me up. He looks at me like he is proud. It makes me feel happy.
I did this.
Yeah, I know it wasn’t a big deal. She wasn’t fighting. All I had to do was bring her heart out.
“Yeah you did,” his eyes shift to my hand “Now you can let go of it,’’ he tells me as he looks at her heart in my grip.
“I don’t want to. I am scared that it wouldn’t have worked.”
He chuckles “Trust me, Amber is a lot of things but she wouldn’t lie to me,’’ he walks over to me and I let go of her heart. This amazing organ that Analise has used for evil. This part of her that is supposed to be used to love.
She became a monster that locked it up.
“Come on, we have a minute left.’ He tells me as we walk out of the mausoleum. The cold air hits me immediately. My hand is still covered in blood but this feels like a victory to me. This feels like a win that I didn’t think we will have.
“Let’s go find your mates,’’ he tells me with a smile on his face.
I look up at the sky and return his smile.