Chapter 241

Jabi.
The doors to the hotel room open and I hear his footsteps as he walks into the room. I close my eyes tighter because I need to keep the ruse that I am asleep. I knew when he left the room and I waited for him to come back.
We are in a strange country.
I thought I loved the ocean—okay, maybe I did but the hotel is on top of the water. I look down and I see the fish in the water. This was something that was supposed to excite me. I didn’t know that it would freak me out.
It has been four days since we got here and I have maintained the deceit for this long. He thinks this is the best thing I have ever experienced and I don’t want to show him another cowardly side to me. I love being by the beach. I love the feel of the sand on my toes, I like when the waves crash to shore and pull me in but I don’t like that we are just above the water. There have been scary thoughts running through my head.
What if the building sinks?
What if there is a tsunami?
I didn’t know this would happen and now I can’t tell him.
The sky out is still dark but Darrien rarely sleeps and it is not like he even needs it but most times, he cozy’s up in bed because of me. I feel him as he climbs on the bed, trying to be very quiet. I wait for him because I know what is going to happen next. He is going to wrap my arms around him for me. he will be the big spoon because he knows that I like it.
His hands reach for me as he goes under the covers. I feel his legs as they wrap around mine. this is how we work. I love when he gives in to the closeness that I demand and right now, I have been extra clingy. I am sure he has noticed that I am but he hasn’t said anything about it. The fear for the water has made me want to be around him more. I get scared when he leaves the room, I get scared when I wake up and he is not beside me. I have tried to cover it all up because I know how much this trip means to him. he planned it all just to make me happy and I can’t tell him that I don’t think I am that much of a fan of the water anymore. Maybe I just like the freedom that comes with the beach, but this whole water experience in the Maldives is not for me.
“You’re awake, but the question is why are you pretending?’’ he breathes out, distracting me from the sounds of the waves hitting the wood.
Hearing his voice just makes me feel a million times better. I open my eyes and he is watching me with a wide smile on his face. My mate is the best and I should just tell him the truth but I won’t right now.
“Because I woke up and you weren’t there, I can’t sleep without you next to me,’’ I lie as untangle his legs from mine. his smile widens even further as I climb on top of him. he grabs my waist with his hands and I feel all of him. this trip hasn’t been all bad. We have had a lot of time together. I know a lot more about him, he does the same. We have had a lot of sex and I mean a lot. Like numerous times every day. I know every part of his body and he knows mine too. We are like two peas in a pod and the closeness is all thanks to this trip.
“Do you want to go back to bed, my little spoon,’’ he asks me still smiling. I can already feel him hard against me and I already know what that means. When we first met, or rather, when we realized that we were in love, I was very shy but now. I can walk around naked in front of him and not even blush when he stares hungrily—okay, who am I kidding? My cheeks are always on fire but it is not because I am shy, it just that he does things to me that gets me all hot and bothered. Like he is doing right now.
He knows that I can feel him and with that, his eyes get darker. The kind that makes me want to rip off the only clothes he has on. He is dressed in shorts and a tank top. Minimal clothing but it still feels like a lot right now. I reach for the collar of his singlet and he leans forward. He knows that I want him as much as he does but most times, he likes to make sure that it is what I want before he initiates anything. he is still so gentle with me even though I tell him that I can handle a lot more roughness from him.
He raises a brow in question.
“I am not tired anymore,’’ I tell him before he smashes his lips to mine. my tongue slides into his and he grinds into me, already getting impatient. He always wants to pounce into me. foreplay makes him lose his patience and I want the same things. We both take off our clothes immediately as he moans into my mouth. I remain on top of him as I loosen the ropes of his shorts. in a hot minute, they are off and he is completely naked. At this moment with him, I forget about the water and all my fears. I get lost in him like I usually do. Darrien is my sun; I revolve around him. as long as he is there my orbits will shine. I will be okay. He gets my boxers off and slowly finds the place where he is most conversant. The entrance that he has gotten so used to. I close my eyes as I melt into him. I don’t need to see him; he doesn’t need to see me wither. We feel everything. Our hearts become one as he enters into me slowly. There is no pain. We have been together for so long. All the pain that I use to feel is completely eradicated. All I feel as he plunges into me deeper is a pleasure. The sweet, sweet pleasure that comes with loving the man beneath me. he is usually on top but at this moment, I love the position. He has always made me feel strong. I don’t feel the need to be independent because I love him and I need him.
“I love you,’’ he breaths as he slowly turns me over until he is on top. His eyes open and I do the same. I tug his hair as I try to control all that comes with making love to him.
I would tell him that I love him too but right now, I am on cloud nine.
I am in heaven.