Chapter 199

Gyles.
I open my eyes and he is in front of me with a smile on his face. His eyes are dark and hungry…for me? I can’t really tell but this feels like a dream. It has to be a dream. “Hey,” he breathes out those words into my ear. I haven’t thought about him since that phone call. I have tried to block him out of my mind. He doesn’t need to be there in the first place but here he is, in this dream, enticing me with his grey eyes. How do I stand this?
What do I say?
He climbs into the bed and slides his legs in between my body.
“You have to wake him up,’’ he echoes in the darkness. I can’t even tell if I am in my room—or rather, the room Beau gave me or if this is somewhere else. I don’t even know how possible it is that the room is so dark and his face is shining so bright. I raise my hand up and he watches me, with a smile on his face. My heart is beating heavily, my hands are legs are trembling. This is a lot for me to handle but somehow I like the way he is making me feel.
“Why am I dreaming about you Blue,’’ I call his name out loud and his smile widens. I like the way his name rolls off my tongue. I like the way saying his name feels. What is happening?
“This isn’t a dream,’’ he answers.
I don’t even know what to say to that. I know I went to bed, with so much jealousy and rage. I didn’t like the fact that they were on a date and I was alone in my room. I know I told Rex that I didn’t want to be his mate. That I didn’t want to be controlled but at that moment, all I wished for was the both of them but I couldn’t say it out loud. I don’t have anyone to talk to but the voice in my head.
That part of me that feels like another person.
The part I have been pushing so down and ignoring all this while.
“It feels like a dream, there is no way you are here, in bed with me,’’ I rest my hand on his face and he closes his eyes immediately. I feel the spark. That electricity that surged through my veins when I touched Rex. I feel the exact same way. I don’t even understand this. I don’t even know what is going on anymore.
“Just because you are not awake doesn’t mean this is not real. I am not just in your mind,” he reaches for me and places his palm on my chest. I am so sure he can feel the pounding of my chest. I know he knows how he is making me feel right “I am in your heart and you know it,’’ he leans forward and I drop my hand from his face.
I don’t know what is happening but I want this so badly. I want to taste his lips on mine. I have kissed Rex and it was the best feeling ever but now I want to know how it feels like to taste him. Would he be as sweet as he looks? Would he be rough, gentle or both?
Our lips are inches apart. I wait for him to do what has suddenly become a craving “Do you want this?’’ he asks calmly. His breath is hot on my face. The best kind of heat.
I nod my head immediately. His smile widens “I will give you everything you want. I will be your everything.” He breathes out huskily. My mind is in a fog right now because I don’t know how to handle everything that is happening. I want him to kiss me but I am scared that a kiss will seal the deal. I don’t want to be hooked on him. I don’t want to lose my mind over him and all that he is.
It is insane that I feel this way. I should stop this but I control the situation by smashing my lips to his. He yelps quietly, probably not even expecting this. My tongue slides into his mouth, the taste even better than I imagined. I didn’t know I was starving until this moment. Here I am kissing Blue—Rex’s mate. I know this is not a dream but as he grinds into me, I let out a gasp. Still completely shocked by everything that is happening.
I can’t think of anything but him at the moment. Suddenly my heart is pouring out to him. I am giving him every piece of me and I don’t want to stop. I don’t have any regrets. My heart is with him completely. I don’t know how long we kiss but it feels amazing. Yeah, I am confused about everything but as I pull away from him slowly, the smile sprawls on his face. “You feel the same way,’’ he points out.
I can’t deny it because it is true. I can’t lie to myself right now and it doesn’t even matter. This is a dream, it is not real. The moment I wake up, I will be alone, in my bed. At the end of the day, Rex is with Blue. I am not even in the picture.
“You know that is not true. This is not a dream,’’ he reads my mind. I hate the fact that I am an open book to him in this world. Usually, I am the one that does the mind-reading. Now he is doing exactly what I do. I don’t like this.
“Why aren’t you doing this in real life, why here?’’ I ask him. He is still close to me, I don’t ever want him to leave “Because I am stubborn. Because my wolf is in control when I sleep and it knows best.’’
So this is his wolf right now.
That means he doesn’t know what he wants. Just like me. If blue is having the same dream as me, then he is not in control either “What about Rex? Where does he fit in all this?’’
Even though I am having conflictions right now, I know for a fact that I want Rex more than anything. I know how he makes me feel and even though Blue is here trying to convince me otherwise. “What about him?” he asks like he doesn’t know what I am talking about.
“You know what I mean,’’ I interject. If he thinks he is going to convince me to choose him, I will not.
The voice is my head keeps on telling me that I don’t have to choose but I don’t even want this. I don’t want this forceful pull. I don’t want the control. I want to love whoever I want to without being told that I have to.
“No one is telling you. This is just destiny,’’ he reaches for me again and caresses my face. I close my eyes because his touch is magnetic. It makes me feel things that I never ever thought I would be feeling.
“Rex is with us, you don’t have to worry about it.
“He is right,’’ I hear his voice and I jump up the bed because it feels like I have done something wrong. He walks into the room, shining just like Blue is. His eyes are bright. Is this him, or is this his wolf? I can’t even tell. “This is not what you think”
It is stupid of me to try and explain myself when I know that this is a dream. I just keep wondering if he is having the exact dream that I am.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Gyles. I feel the same way too,’’ he climbs on the bed and I watch him come over to us. Blue reaches for him and I watch them embrace. They are making out right in front of me. What are they doing? This is very weird for me. I don’t know if I am okay with it. They pull apart from the kiss and smile at me, almost like that was a statement. They were telling me that it can work. We can love each other equally. I don’t know them—like I really don’t know anything about them, except how they make me feel.
“We will get to know each other,’’ Blue pipes in and leans back to me. Rex follows and I watch him as he kisses my forehead. This is his way of asking for permission. I press my lips to his and he welcomes me. I can never shy away from him. I want him. Fuck, it seems like they are right.
Could I possibly want both of them?
“Wake him up,’’ they both repeat and in that instant, the dream ends.
I open my eyes just as the dream ends.
“Fuck,’’ I exclaim to the dead of the night. Sweat trickles down my face. I don’t know what that was but I am even more confused.
They wanted me to wake someone up.
Who?
ME.
For the first time since I came back to. I feel him.
My wolf.