Chapter 526

Gyles
He didn’t spend in our room.
He went to the guest rooms and I am so upset beyond comprehension. Blue keeps saying that I am the stubborn one, that I act like a child most times when in reality, he is the one acting like a child.
I tried to have a conversation with him about how I was feeling and he pushed me away completely.
He didn’t even want to listen and now he is the one throwing a tantrum.
Did we fight so badly that he can’t even be in the same space as me? Is that how bad it was?
I keep playing it over and over in my head. Thinking about all the things I said. Trying to see what I said that was so bad.
“He is just being a jerk,’’ Rex tells me and I see it in his eyes. He is being put in the middle and he doesn’t want to have to go through this.
I am not asking him to choose between the two of us. I just want this to end, I want us to stop fighting.
“He is not going to let this go,’’ I tell him because he doesn’t see that he is wrong. He thinks he is doing this because he cares about me. He is acting as the leader but we are both Alphas in this relationship. I should have a say in things we do.
He can’t just shut me down because he is scared. I should be able to make decisions that concern me.
This is my life too.
“I talked to him, just give him time. He will come around.’’
Rex is trying to be the peacemaker but I don’t even want him to have to do this. I would just go apologize if it means we can stop all this separation, all this fighting, all this fucking space.
“How long is it going to take? I miss him,’’ I whine because his absence is felt. I know what it is like to miss someone, I know what it is like to lose someone and Blue is connected to me.
He is a big part of my life and he is avoiding me.
It is taking a toll on me.
“How about now?” The door opens and he lingers there, his eyes on me. I stand up from the bed because he is here and all I want to do is run into his arms and beg him to forgive me.
He takes a step towards me and there is this look of regret plastered on his face. He looks more apologetic than I thought he would and that just makes me feel ten times better.
I want to have a conversation with him and this time, I don’t want it to resort to an argument. I want to listen to his side of things and I want him to listen to my side. I take a step to him and he does the same, we do this until we are in front of him. He is looking at me and my heart is racing.
I don’t even know how long we stare at each other; I don’t know who initiates it but we end up in each other’s arms.
“Gyles, I am so sorry,’’ he whispers and I feel the sting of his apology, his heartache, his regret. I have been the one to cause that. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to shut you down. I am sorry for hurting you.’’
I hold him tighter; I want him to know that I forgive him and I am the one who should be apologizing.
“We will sort this out, together,’’ I breathe in his arms because I don’t want to see him like this.
I don’t want to be the cause of his pain. I want things to be good between us again but I need him to also find a way to treat me better.
After a couple of needed seconds of embracing, he pulls apart and his eyes search mine. I don’t know what he is thinking but I need us to lay some ground rules. I don’t want a repeat of what happened. I don’t want to have to spend another night upset with him.
I want us to be able to communicate properly without it resorting is anger or fights. I know it is possible but this relationship is very complicated. It is almost like there is always going to be someone in the middle.
“I came here to tell you that I am here to support you in whatever decision you make.’’ he breathes out.
“We need to go back to the coven.’’
He nods his head immediately “I know, I will go anywhere with you. I will never let you have to do anything alone.’’
I smile because that is exactly what I wanted. I wanted someone to walk with me. Someone who I can talk to when I have these strange feelings. Someone who can be there for me. I want to get that from Blue, I want to know that he will always believe in me and not just think I am problematic.
“Please just trust me,’’ I whisper because I know he feels the same. I don’t want us to have this kind of issue again but I also know that we both have to try. I have to be more patient and he needs to be more understanding and supportive.
“I trust you; I was just living in fear. I still am fucking afraid to go back but now I know that this is something we have to do. We need to end this once and for all.”
His words are encouraging.
I needed him on my side all along.
All the worries that I felt, all the doubt, they evaporate because he is here.
That is all I needed. Him by my side.
“Jules is coming to the community with someone, a witch. She can help us find out if Analise is still alive. She can help us know the truth and how to handle it.”
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