Chapter 440

Beau
Lanis will be the death of me.
Even when I am trying to stay strong and resist him, he always wins.
He thought I wasn’t attracted to him because of the pregnancy, because of his stomach and how big it has gotten. I look at him and nothing has changed. My dick, my body, and my heart still respond to him the same way it always had but I blame myself.
I made him get into his head.
I noticed that he wasn’t being himself around me, I noticed that he didn’t want to change in front of me, he didn’t want to have showers or baths together anymore but I just thought he was in so much pain, I just assumed he needed some space to get used to the pregnancy.
I have been walking on eggshells around him because of this pregnancy. I wish I could do more to help him and I don’t want to be the cause of any harm to him. Sex with Lanis is always magic. I have thought about it all week, I wake up and see him next to me sleeping and I want to wake him up with my dick in his ass. I want to fuck him when he is awake when he is in the shower. I want to do all the things we always used to do but I have to be mature, I have had to have self-control and now, the one thing I thought I was doing right was so wrong.
I have been obsessing over him, I can’t stop thinking about him and in turn, I made him feel insecure and unattractive.
“More,’’ he moans into my lips. His eyes are closed as I lay my hand on the back of his neck and hold him close to me.
The smell of the air is nothing like I remember it being. It is a sweeter smell, a smell that makes me think of him in a way that I haven’t for a week. I put him on the bed and his belly protrudes, my babies are inside him. I am so in my head right now because I don’t know how to do this. I look at him because I don’t want to hurt our babies.
I am so deep in my head that I don’t hear him say my name again until he puts his hand on my cheek and shakes me from my thoughts.
“I know you’re having doubts Beau but I’m fine. I want this with you. I want to be one with you. You are not going to hurt them,’’ he breathes out, lying down on his side.
I take my pants off and get under the covers. I don’t know what to do with my hands as I lay next to the man I have been thinking about all week. He has been on my mind so much that I am having a hard time focusing. He takes my hand and puts it on his dick. “My body wants this, don’t fight it,’’ he shows me and I feel him, my heart racing.
I move my hand down to his belly and he stops me. “Beau, don’t. We’re not going to do anything that will put them in danger,’’ he says, his way of telling me not to worry about anything and I trust him. I completely trust him with my whole heart.
I pull my hand away and place it at his side, kissing his neck as I trail all the way to his most sensitive spot. The part of him that aches for me. It starts with one finger; I know I have to be gentle and that is what I do as I push into him slowly. He arches his back into me as I slide another finger into him. Getting his body used to my touch. it has been too long; I have missed this so much.
“Tell me if it hurts,’’ I breathe out heavily as he nods and pushes his hips against my hand. “I know you won’t hurt them. I trust you,’’ he tells me and I smile as I open my eyes and look at his face.
I keep pushing into him as he moans against me, I give him the pleasure that he wants but it is not enough. He needs me inside him and I want to be inside him.
“More,’’ he cries against my touch. I push in another finger and he bucks his hips, pushing against me. I smile as I smile and know it is time. I pull my fingers out of him and he whines at the loss. I want to give him what he wants so bad but I also want to make sure that he is ready for me. “You’re ready, aren’t you?’’ I ask him and he nods.
Lanis is staring at me, his eyes locked on mine as he pulls my face to his and kisses me. The kiss is deep and passionate as he holds my face in his hands. I can feel the heat radiating off of him as I kiss him. He is so warm and it is not just his body. He is radiating something that I can’t describe but I know that I am about to find out.
“Are you ready?’’ I ask him and he nods.
“I want you, Beau,’’ he tells me and I smile. I kiss him again and I feel his arms go around my neck. I pull my hand away from him as I spread his cheeks apart, getting ready for the heaven I am about to enter. The world where it is just me and him. The world I like to escape into.
“Yes,” he breathes out heavily as I push into him gently at first. I will not lose myself; I will love him up without endangering our babies.
“More,’’ he claws unto my arms begging, so I give him more.
I will give him everything he asks for.
I want to show him that he means the world to me. I love him and I will prove that to him.
I will do whatever he needs me to.