Chapter 448

Beau
I watch him as he tries to go back to sleep. I watch his eyes fixed on mine and a smile sprawls to my face.
This is a new light, I am seeing him for the first time in all the time we have been together. I never knew he was so beautiful, I never knew he was so strong. The man in front of me is a warrior, stronger than anyone I have ever met and he is all mine. He is strong for us. He is fighting for our future and he doesn’t even look dazed. He is holding on a lot better than me and I haven’t even gone through an inch of what he is going through. He might not be in pain right now but I know that once it is time for the babies to come out, he will be back to the pain. I want this to be an easy birth for him but I can’t do anything about it but hold his hand.
“You have to stop staring at me, it is messing with my head,’’ he smiles as he stretches his hand out to me. I take his hand in mine and but I don’t look away from him.
I am not going to take my eyes away from him. I am not going to let go of this moment. For the rest of our life, I will remember this time and this struggle and it will make me appreciate him even more.
“I can’t help myself,’’ I tell him.
“Can you come up to the bed?’’ he asks me calmly, ignoring my confession. I shake my head immediately because I don’t want to hurt him. The bed is not even big enough for the both of us and if I get on it, I will end up squashing him tightly and he is already taking a lot of space on the bed.
“I don’t think that is a good idea,’’ I tell him.
He frowns “Why?’’
“Because I am heavy and I might hurt you,’’ I tell him.
A smile spreads across his face. “You are not heavy,’’ he argues.
“I am! You need all the space you can get. Don’t want to mess with the way things are right now. The fact that you are not in pain is a good thing. We shouldn’t mess things up.’’
“I want to hold you,’’ he pouts in the cutest way I have ever seen.
I smile back at him. “You can hold me but I will be careful. I don’t want to hurt you or the babies.’’
“Okay,’’ he smiles back. He brings his arms out of the cover and I get on the bed with caution. I put a pillow between us so that I am resting on my back and the weight is distributed evenly. I turn to him and I smile at him. He is smiling back at me. “I will be okay for this moment, now close your eyes and try to sleep. I will be here when you wake up,’’ I tell him.
“I am not sleepy, I have been asleep for a whole day, can we just talk?’’
I want to argue with him and tell him that he needs all the rest he can get but I know that I am at this place where I want to give him everything he wants and right now, he wants to talk. So I will give him that.
“What do you want to talk about?’’
He smiles “Anything, distract me from the babies.”
I think back and there is nothing I want to talk about. I don’t want to talk about Fallon and the problems I am having with making a decision.
“Talk about it, I see something is bothering you,’’ he says doing that thing where he reads my mind and knows exactly what I am thinking.
“What are you talking about?’’ I try to play dumb.
“I can see it in your eyes, you are worried about something. What is it?’’
“It is just Fallon,’’ I tell him.
“What about Fallon?’’ he asks me almost instantly. He is going into protective mode. This is the person that killed my father after all.
“We had a meeting in the pack, everyone wants him to be executed. I don’t know I that is the right thing to do.”
“What do you think is the right thing to do?’’ he asks after a couple of silent seconds. I take a deep breath because it is exhausting thinking about it. I don’t want to kill him. I don’t want his life in my hands but I also don’t want to worry about my packs safety, I don’t want to worry about my mate’s safety, I don’t want to worry about my babies.
As long as Fallon is alive I will always be worried.
“I don’t know,” I confess.
He is the only one that will ever see me confused, or in doubt. In the pack meetings, I just made it known that executing Fallon is not something I wanted to do. That is not something that I will be proud of, so I didn’t want it on me.
“You have to make a decision, at the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you and your people.”
His words are sincere. He is right, at the end of the day, as the Alpha, it is up to me and I need to make the decision but I don’t want to do that on my own.
“What do you think the right thing is?’’ I ask him.
“It is up to you but if you ask me, I think he should die. He is a threat to our pack, to our people, and our unborn children,’’ he tells me.
His words flow through my body and I feel my heart drop. I knew what he was going to say, I knew what the pack wanted and I knew what the right thing to do was but I didn’t want to admit it.
Shit.
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