Chapter 40

Alanis.
He can see right through me.
All day, I could tell he knew something was wrong. He gave me this weird look, like he was using his eyes to tell me that I could trust him. I know I can trust him. This is not about trust; this is me not wanting to see him hurt again. I really don’t know how he will handle this. He is still trying to get over his father and now I have to spring this up on him.
How do I do that?
The day ends and I succeed in not saying anything about what I know. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I know I have to tell him but I don’t know how to tell him, here I am staring into his eyes and keeping something so big from him.
I am uncertain about what he will do, he might end up killing his uncle. I need to tell him the truth but I can’t just blurt something like that out. Rex was suspicious, the last time I spoke to him, he mentioned something along those lines. He has an inkling and I think he is the best person to talk to about it. I couldn’t get any time alone with him at the funeral, Beau was always with me. I don’t blame him; he is worried that someone that doesn’t approve of this relationship might try to hurt me. I know that not everyone is accepting of us, I hear the murmurs and whispers, I see the looks. They all don’t support this but no one wants to challenge him. Everyone is in panic mode right now; they are waiting for this to be over.
Once Beau goes into the bathroom, I stand up and walk over to the direction of Rex’s room. It was pretty easy getting to it. I knock on the door and I hear his footsteps until he opens the door. His expression is shocked, probably not expecting me to be here.
“I need to talk to you,” I mutter.
He looks over my shoulders as I read his mind.
Does Beau know he’s here?
It’s just a thought in his head, I know he is worried. From the time I have been here, I know that Rex is afraid of Beau. He walks on egg shells around him and I don’t seem to understand why. I guess I don’t know their relationship that well but Beau loves him. He would do anything for Rex.
“What is wrong?” he asks still looking over my shoulders. I turn around in case someone followed me here. The fact that he seems to think that there could be someone has me worried.
“Can I come in?” I ask him hopeful.
I walk in as he moves to create space for me to enter, closing the door I take a deep breath. This is harder than I thought it would be, here I am ready to talk to someone about this but I don’t know how to say this. Rex coughs nervously, still watching me, unsure of what to say.
“Did something happen between you and Beau?” he manages.
Running my hands through my hair I shake my head “No, remember when you told me about Beau’s uncle and his scent?”
He raises a brow “Yes, I do,” his expression changes and I sense panic “You didn’t tell him about it. Please tell me you didn’t.”
I raise my hands forward in a non-threatening gesture and he sighs “I didn’t but I need to.”
Furrowing his brows, he asks “Why?
“Because I have the evidence you were looking for. I saw it today. Fallon killed Beau’s father,”
Rex takes a step away from me and I watch him as he paces “How do you know and what do you mean by you saw it?”
“My brother, Eligio has the gift to see the past and future. He showed it to me. I watched Rick die,” I release a breath of relief because saying this out loud makes me feel better. I know I won’t feel good about myself when I tell Beau, I will hate myself fro being the one to cause him more pain. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news. I hate that I know this.
I hate it so much.
“Wow,” he says finally.
“I need to tell Beau but I am scared of how he will react.”
“You have to tell him; the one thing Beau hates is keeping things from him. He might not forgive you if he finds out and it’s not from you,” he tells me and I realize that he is right. Rex knows Beau a lot more than I do.
“How do I say something like that to him?”
I don’t want to have to be the one that tells him this kind of thing. I wish someone else could be the one to break his heart. Why does it have to me?
“The same way you told me, just tell him what you know. Beau is stronger than he looks, he can handle this. He just needs to know.”
He is right.
“I’ll tell him, tomorrow.”
“Tell him.” he repeats. He can see how hard this is for me. He is being encouraging but it’s not working.
I am terrified.
***************
I walk into his room and he in on the bed with his phone tightly on his grip. He seems to be distracted with whatever he is doing because he doesn’t look up when I close the door. The air seems dreary, something has changed from the moment I left this room to now.
I don’t know what it is but the worry crawls back. What if he already knows?
“Hey,” I manage taking a step closer to him. He looks up at me for a second but his expression is blank. I climb the bed gently and crawl all the way over to him. My arms stretch to get him to hold me but his stance is too cold. Now I know something is definitely up.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him immediately.
He shakes his head still typing on his phone, whatever he is doing must be so interesting that he can’t even look at me.
“Boyfriend,” I call him and move closer till my face is in the crook of his neck. Pressing my lips to the soft of his skin, I place soft kisses on him. He tries to stir away from me but I am not having it. I will get to the bottom of whatever is making him upset. I will make him feel better, that is what I am here for.
“Stop,” he grabs me by my waist obviously not having it.
I look at him with furrowed brows “What’s wrong?” I ask him again.
There is a frown on his face “You tell me,” he mutters.
“Tell you what? Everything’s okay with me. You’re the one that’s extra moody right now.”
He pushes me off him gently and I watch him stand up from the bed and walk over to the mini fridge at a far corner. He brings out a bottle of scotch and I raise a brow “What are you doing?”
“I’m having a drink,” he rolls his eyes.
“Why? its late. Today was a stressful day. You should get some rest.”
He sits down on the chair and I watch him down the bottle with no cup. What is he doing? I get up from the bed and walk over to him. “Please stop. Just come to bed and cuddle with me,” I am offering him bribes, in hopes that he will be tempted but the look he gives me has me even more worried.
“You go to bed first I need some alone time to think,” he brushes my offer off like suddenly I am just some random person.
He is acting very immature right now; he should just come out and say whatever’s bothering him and stop acting like a child. I take one last look at him before I head to the direction of the door. “Let me know when you stop acting like a fucking child,” I walk out of his room and out of his house. The cold air hits me once I am outside and regret flood in. I don’t want to be alone right now, I want to be in his arms, I want to lie down next to him and kiss him.
Why are we even fighting right now?
I haven’t done anything.
If he is this upset how will he take the fact that I know who killed his father and I haven’t said anything.
I sit on a rock in front entrance of his house and look at the night sky. Being here in this place is a different experience. Being in love is different. I don’t want to ever lose the feelings within me. At this moment, not being close to him is killing me. I miss him already and he is just inside, I don’t want to fight with him. I hate this so much but I don’t know what is wrong, he won’t talk to me and I am worried.
I need him so much.
“I didn’t expect you to actually leave,” I look up and he is standing in front of the door to the house, dressed in only boxers. His hair is a ruffled mess on his head, There is sadness in his eyes.
He doesn’t want to fight with me too.
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