Chapter 640
Blue
I have been thinking and thinking.
I have looked inside myself.
I have asked myself different reflecting questions.
Done hypothesis and theories.
What if they were not here?
What if I never even met Gyles and Rex?
What if I just came to this place and was offered a place that I could call my own? would I have stayed?
Maybe they are the reasons why the forces pulled me here but are they the reason why I would stay.
I would be happy wherever I am, as long as they are with me but I also know that I will be happier in this place.
You haven’t given this place a chance. Let’s do things differently.
My wolf encourages me.
He has been quiet all this while, giving me a chance to figure things out on my own and I have thought and thought about it all. I don’t want to even think about being a lone wolf because I hate being alone. I cannot live the kind of life my father is living.
He is a lone wolf but he is not really even alone. He has me, he will always have me and I always want to know that I have him too.
How do I do that? what can I do to make things different?
These are all just questions to myself. At the end of the day, I am one with my wolf. There is no separation, so this is just me asking myself the questions even though I wouldn’t even have the answers.
Talk to the alpha of this pack. this is your home, so you need to start treating it like one.
That is what I have been thinking.
I came to this community because my father was coming here. I came and I helped them in ways that I didn’t even think were capable of, with all the practice that I have done here. With all the magic I have learned, I think I am good enough to stand on my own.
One thing I hated, was my magic but over the years, I have learned to embrace it and now it is the one thing that I am proud of.
I know I should talk to Beau.
He is forthcoming and very easy to talk to, I don’t have any problems conversing with him but I need to know what I even want to say in the first place.
You haven’t bonded with anyone. You haven’t acted like this place is one you want to settle in.
I know all that but It is hard for me to bond. It is hard for me to open up to people.
Start by going hunting with the pack.
Going hunting with the pack.
I only hunt with my mates.
Whenever they go with the pack, I stay behind. Why do I do that? why is it so hard to join others?
I don’t have those answers as I leave the house and go over to Beau’s house. The main house is the biggest in the community. Of course, it would be, I mean, this is the house of the Alpha. I never really used to see Beau as Alpha material. I didn’t actually think he had it in him but he has proven himself without a doubt and I want to be just like him. I want to be brave. I want to be respected and I want to be able to be proud of being who I am like he has.
He doesn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks.
There are still people in the community that aren’t okay with the relationship that he has with Alanis but he doesn’t care. He is not afraid to flaunt his love to the world.
He is not afraid to be himself and I admire him.
I get to his house and just as I am about to knock on his front door, it opens and he looks up at me.
I don’t want to think that he knew I was even coming “Blue, what a surprise,’’ he smiles.
He is dressed in a pair of jeans and a navy-blue polo shirt with sneakers. His car key is in his hand ’Are you going out?’’ I ask because I don’t want to be a bother.
Maybe that is why you haven’t gone hunting. Maybe that is why you don’t want to be friends with all these people. Because you don’t want to be another.
“Yeah, I need to go get more blood from the Cranwell’s. Lanis’s father is getting a new batch for the kids,’’ he answers with a smile. “I actually wanted to talk to you,’’ he adds.
I furrow my brows as he continues “Alby and I had a conversation but I didn’t want to bombard you because I didn’t know if this was the right time.”
I don’t know what he is talking about.
“What do you mean.”
“Okay, first things first, no pressure,’’ he raises his hands up in the air.
I raise a brow. Whenever someone says no pressure. There is always pressure. Right now, I feel a buttload of pressure, even though I don’t even know what he wants to ask.
“Okay.”
He smiles “I haven’t really figured you out and where you stand but you know I consider you a part of this family. Do you consider yourself family?’’
I nod.
I do.
I want to be a part of this.
I know that much.
“So why don’t you hunt with us?’’ he asks.
He hasn’t told me what he discussed with Alby but I know that this is not it. “That’s why I actually came, I wanted to ask if I could.”
“You don’t have to ask; you know that right?’’
I shrug.
“You are a member of this pack. you are always welcome. Everyone is welcome.” He reminds me of the rule he changed.
Omegas hunting with Alphas, the equality he brought about.
One of the reasons why I look up to him so much.
This warms my heart and it starts to make me wonder. “What did you and Alby discuss,’’ I ask him as I walk with him to his car.
“How would you like to be the community Warlock?” he asks.
I didn’t even think that people wanted to be associated with magic in this place. I didn’t know that they needed me here. “You don’t have to agree right now, I just thought you know, magic is a big part of us and it could help this community grow. You helped me a lot and I know you can help so many more people.’’
My heart leaps in my chest.
His words and his encouragement.
I didn’t know what I wanted but I want this family.
Fuck I want this so badly.
“I will do it.’’