Chapter 350

Gyles
We pack a couple of Blue’s things in a suitcase. I am just glad that telling him the truth is helping on my case to go home. I have been trying to convince him that we need to go home and all it took was a potential threat to me.
It just makes me know that he actually cares about me—not like I had any doubt before. Just some bits and pieces of uncertainty and they are all being erased by all his actions.
“I can’t believe we are going back to the community,” Rex exclaims excitedly. He seems to be the happiest out of the three of us. I get that, I mean, the community is his home and I forced him out of his sanctuary. I made him come here and all the problems are because of me. I know that and even if he tries to convince me that this is not my fault. I have always known that it is. there is something about me that just attracts problems. It is almost like wherever I go or whatever I touch turns to drama. This is not something I want and I wish I could stop endangering everyone around me.
I don’t know how to.
“What do you think Blue would want from here,’’ he asks me as he rummages through his things. The fact that Blue left all these things in the first place just lets me know that he doesn’t care about them. he has never been one to care about material things. The clothes in his closet, the books, all the pictures in the albums. I grab the photo album from his table and Rex walks over to me.
“He doesn’t look happy,’’ he mutters as I turn the pages. He looks to be about ten in this picture. He is next to his mother. She has her arms around him. he is supposed to be smiling, this is supposed to be a happy moment but he looks like he is being smothered.
I turn the pages faster and the more pictures I see, the unhappier he seems.
“He wouldn’t want this,’’ I drop the book back on the table and walk over to the drawers. I find a couple of bracelets and a packet of cigarettes. I bring it out “Did you know he smokes?’’ I ask in confusion. I guess there are still a lot of things we need to find out about each other. It makes me realize that we haven’t explored each other to the fullest and I guess in life, we will never explore everything at once. The longer we spent together, the more things we will know about each other.
“It might not be for him,’’ he suggests but something tells me it is for him. I go away from the table and put a couple of more clothes in the box. After about thirty minutes of packing, the door opens and Blue walks in. my eyes go to his hand, I don’t know what I am looking for—maybe the book. I don’t even know why I will be looking for the book in the first place. from everything that has happened, I should have listened to him when he said the book was evil. I shouldn’t have been so focused on using it to help Rex. As he said, there is always a good way of doing things, we don’t have to settle for the darkness just because we are desperate.
“You’re back,’’ rex runs into his arms immediately. he smiles warmly as he embracing him deeply. I stand in the corner of the room, unsure if he wants me near him right now. he looks over Rex’s shoulders and his smile widens as he gestures for me to come over. it takes me less than a second to jolt over to him. I want to be close to him right now. Touching both of them is a feeling I cannot explain.

Blue
The three of us embrace for God knows how long and I wish we could stay in that position for a whole but I know we need to leave. I don’t plan on saying goodbye. I don’t plan on talking to the elders about my decision. They are the ones that told me to leave if I wanted to. I don’t belong here and maybe it is a good thing that I have the opportunity to exit this place without any problems.
“Come on guys, we need to leave,’’ I tell them. I look around the room and I see my clothes sprawled in a box on the bed. do I even want to take them? I don’t want anything from this life but I also know that I might never be able to come back here. I should just take the stuff I need so I don’t have any regrets. I walk over to one of my drawers and open a box.
“We didn’t know if you wanted to take any of this stuff,’’ Gyles manages.
I open the box and the ring is still inside. The one that Levine gave me a couple of years ago. I never took any meaning to it but now that she is dead, I want one last memory of her. this will remind me of the person that she was. I will always remember how kind and caring she was. Through my growing up stages, whenever I felt alone, I would talk to her, she would always make me feel better.
The fact that she was always there for me is a memory that no one can take from me. one that I never want to forget.
I drop the box back in the drawer and walk over to the box on the bed, closing it up immediately “Let’s get out of here,’’ I tell them as I exhale a long breath. As we walk out of the house, I feel the sadness that I am leaving this life behind. Even though this is always what I wanted, it still hurts to say goodbye to the place I was once stuck in.
The home that never felt like home.
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