Chapter 82

Darrien.
No one understands how I feel.
Maybe this is an overreaction but I will keep running until I can smell him; until I find him. I am not going to let things get to the stage they did with Beau. Beau is the Alpha of the pack, they had reasons to keep him alive, Jabi, not so much. He would be killed before I even find him.
Whoever took him can’t have gone that far, at least I am giving myself the hopes that they are still somewhere in the woods. I don’t know how long I run, I lose all sense of time. My only priority is finding him. the moment I feel his presence is a euphoric bliss. I see the cave and all my worries slowly dissipate. I haven’t even seen him yet, but I can feel him. his scent is strong. The blood running through his veins. The fact that he is still alive. I prayed and wished that he wasn’t hurt and now my prayers have been answered.
It takes me a second to get to the entrance, the little space that leads to the cave and I see him immediately. He is shivering from the cold. I want to wrap my arms around him and makes sure no one ever hurts him again. I want to be his solace, his happy place.
I should’ve never let him go in the first place. This is all my fault; I blame myself and no one can tell me otherwise. Jabi looks up and his eyes are wide, almost like he is surprised that I am here. He has been hurt so much in his life that he didn’t even expect me to show up for him today. I told him I was going to take care of him and I meant it. There is no going back from this, he is mine until the day I stop existing. He has nothing to worry about, I will do whatever it takes to protect him and that included killing this motherfucker that took him.
I shoot him a smile and he reciprocates it. Just seeing him smile at this moment, is everything to me. the fact that he can smile means he is okay; he is strong enough. The fact that he is right in front of me is comforting, the closer I am to him, the happier I am. I have come to the conclusion that he is my happiness.
I have found my happiness.
I wanted to be stealth, attack the culprit without him knowing but I guess he beat me to it. The anger in me is making me lose my focus, I don’t get emotional when in battle, I think with my fucking fists but there is this part of me that is panicking. I have to be strong enough to get him out. I don’t want to fail him, just when I promised I would protect him. I feel the blow with a swing, it hurts but at this moment all my pain is being channelled to the rage I feel. Jabi stays on the ground, on his knees. I don’t want him to move an inch, he should relax and I will do this.
With super speed, the vampire pushes me till my back hits the wall. I am quick enough to push him and have the tables turned. I want to kill him, that is the only option. We go at this back and forth of hurting each other and as I feel my bones bend and break from his blows, muffled sounds come from Jabi. Giving him a quick glance through the fight, I see tears in his eyes. He is fucking crying. That is the last straw, I will not watch him cry because of me. There is no way in fucking hell.
With one last blow of all the energy within me, I watch him fly so far away from me that the hit causes damages to a fucking rock by a corner. The sand from the ground spreads all around and in that moment of blurriness, I run over to him and grab him by his chest. I feel my skin pierce into him as I prepare to pull out his heart. In the span of a couple of days, I have ripped out the hearts of two of my kind. This will make a third and there is no stopping me.
His eyeballs bulge as a drop of tear slips out of them.
’’Don’t,’’ I stop from the sound of his voice—his beautiful mesmerizing voice. I could fall asleep to the sound of his voice. Shit, that should be something on my bucket list.
Turning around with my fist still in him, I see him slowly walk over to us ’’Don’t kill him,’’ he cries, the tears still falling from his face. I want to let go of this bastard and hold him; I want to hold him so badly.
’’He wanted to kill you,’’ I remind him.
He shakes his head ’’He had no choice, please just let him go. I don’t think he deserves to die.’’
I look at him once again and his face is turning blue, his eyes are still open. I am close enough to get rid of his cold heart ’’Please don’t kill him.’’
I don’t know what to do. I want to kill this bastard so badly but I am weak for Jabi and his pleas. The look on his face is not helping matters. His big doe brown eyes, the tears on his cheeks.
’’Fuck.’’ I pull my fists out of his chest with that exclamation and in a split second, I wrap them around his neck until it is twisted, leaving him unconscious.
I hope I don’t regret this decision.
I get off my knees and to my feet. Jabi takes a step away from me with his eyes fixated on the man he just saved. ’’Is he…?’
’’Not dead, will be out for a couple of hours.’’
He nods with a faint smile; with slow strides I stop in front of him. his eyes look away from me instantly. ’’Are you okay?’’ that is the first thing I need to know. Everything else is secondary at this moment.
He nods, his eyes still away from me, I reach for his chin until his eyes are focused on me and nothing else ’’I was worried sick.’’
’’I am sorry.’’
Why is he apologising?
This is not his fault.
This is my fault.
’’You didn’t tell me your answer when you left.’’ From the look on his face, he knows what I am talking about. He was supposed to come back to my place but he never gave me an answer. There was no certainty when I watched him leave my house.
Now, all I need to know is if he will be coming with me to my house. That is the only place I want him. that is the only place I can protect him. he is not going back to his pack, especially when things are so fucking messy there.
’’I was going to get my things when it happened. I had already made up my mind the minute you asked me. there was no doubt at all,’’
In that instant, I can’t help myself as I pull him into my arms for a hug. This is the first time I have been this close to him. this is the first time in my life I have ever comforted someone. Intimacy has never been something I partook in. sex was just sex. A way to release steam, all the frustrations that I carried along with me but now at this moment, as slow sounds of crying come out of him, I want to pull him even tighter. It is not possible; we are as close as can possibly be. His chest is pressed against mine, I can feel the thumping in his chest that is his heartbeat. I feel one with him. almost like I have given him the part of me that no one was allowed to see. I will give him all of me and more, I would become someone else for him. Change my name, my face. Just to fucking please him.
He tugs at the hems of my shirt, his grip faint. He is weak in the knees, this whole lot must be taking a toll on him.
Slowly, I pull apart from him but he clings unto me even tighter. He is not ready to let go of me; I am never letting go of him again. He will be stuck to me like glue for as long as my heart is still in my chest.
’’Is Beau okay?’’ he breathes still in my arms.
’’Yes, he is. Let’s get you home.’’
He pulls away from me and his eyes bore into mine. The feelings in me dance around from the excitement of this new exploration. Alanis said I would know when I feel it.
I’ve felt it since the moment I met him at the community.
I need to get him home.
To our home.