Chapter 126

Jabi.
I open my eyes and I am at the beach, my favourite place to be. ever since I went there with Darrien, it became my favourite place. Any memories that have Darrien in it, is treasured to me.
I look up at the sky, the sun is about to set, making the sky an orange colour. The scene before me is beautiful but something doesn’t seem right. I don’t know why I am alone; I don’t ever want to be alone. Having Darrien means I don’t have to be alone again. I look around in search of him, but he is nowhere in sight. My legs move on their own accord, I want to find him.
Suddenly it feels like my rib cage is closing in on my heart. I feel like I can’t breathe. My eyes roam around as I clutch my chest, trying to breathe. Once I find him, everything will be alright.
’’Darrien,’’ I call his name even though I can’t feel him close to me.
My heart is crying for the release that only comes with him. I have never felt so alone in my life.
Where is my lifeline?
Darrien.
I walk into Jabi’s tiny cabin and go straight to his room. I haven’t been able to check on him all day. He has been sleeping a lot, completely understandable, especially after everything he has been through. I freeze in front of the door as I hear his muffled cries.
I open the door hurriedly and he is still in bed. He is asleep. Why is he crying in his sleep? I run up to him and grab him immediately. He doesn’t open his eyes as he holds on to my clothes, trying to pull me closer to him. He is covered in sweat; his hands and legs are shaking. It seems like he is having a nightmare.
I know it is not the best thing to surprise wake someone up from their dreams, even though it is a nightmare but somehow I still want to be there for him. I lie down next to him and wrap my arms around him tightly, he squeezes me and I feel the fear of letting me go show.
I stay in his arms until he calms down. Once he stops shaking, his breathing steadies and then he opens his eyes to find me watching him with all the love I can show on my face. At this point in our relationship, oi think we have proven to each other how much we mean to each other and there are no words that can describe it. The only things we have left are our action. Jabi’s eyes are the bright blue of his wolf, shining all over the room. It seems like his wolf is making an appearance in this moment. I love all parts of him, even the little fur guy.
’’Hi,’’ I manage to stroke the soft strands of his hair.
He returns the smile, I move my hands to his face, just a little bit underneath his eyes. My thumb pressed up against his skin ’’Your eyes are blue,’’ I comment still smiling.
He furrows his brows in confusion. He probably didn’t summon his wolf, but he is here.
’’Did you have a nightmare?’’ I ask still touching him.
I never want to let go of him.
He nods but doesn’t say anything. I haven’t heard his voice all day. I fucking miss his voice. What I would do to hear him speak right now.
’’Are you hungry?’’ I ask him.
He shakes his head. I watch him, not sure what is going on in his mind. Our bodies are pressed together. I can feel all of him right now, but that is not where my mind is at. I only want to take care of him. He is still not in the best place after our ritual. My baby is still fragile right now.
’’Not really,’’ he mumbles shifting even closer to me.
I pull away from him because he actually needs to eat. ’’I’ll get you something from the fridge. There is a lot of food in his fridge, courtesy of Alanis. The only thing I think he will want right now is meat.
’’Can we just stay in bed a little longer,’’ he bats his lashes at me, pleading with his eyes.
He knows I will do whatever he wants.
I manage a smile as I climb back to the bed and wrap him in my arms ’’Are you okay?’’ I ask him again.
He is acting more clingy than usual. ’’Yeah, I just don’t want to let you go right now, he breathes into my ear, the sound of his voice sending chills down my spine. I notice that his eyes are still the bright blue, I don’t think he is even aware that there is this change.
’’What did you dream about?’’ I ask him curious to know what made him so shaken up.
’’You, us. I don’t know. I have never felt so alone like I did in the dream. I looked for you and you weren’t there.’’
’’I am here right now,’’ I remind him.
I have that fear all the time. We are facing so many threats. It almost seems like the whole world is against us and I have the fear that one day I will wake up and he won’t be there. I don’t like to think about it because that just adds to the stress of everything that is happening.
I will only just try to hold on to him. Never let him go, that way I don’t have to see him disappear from my life.
’’I know, I see you,’’ he pokes my nose softly almost as an assurance that this is real and not another nightmare.
’’You don’t have to worry about losing me. I will never leave you. I am sorry to say this but you are stuck with me,’’ I lean forward and place a soft kiss on his forehead. He closes his eyes, and tugs at my shirt wanting more from the kiss. I move to his lips, wanting a taste of him. It’s been a day and I have missed him so much.
Sue me for being selfish right now. I love him so much that even not kissing him for a day is killing me. My lips press to his, the softness of his lips drives me insane. I don’t know what I expected when I imagined kissing him, but each time I kiss him again, it takes over my mind and drives me crazy. Jabi’s tongue slides into my mouth as he revels into me completely. My hand roams all over his body. I can never be as close to him as I want to. No matter how much I squeeze into his arms, it is never enough.
He reaches for my clothes, I can feel him wanting to get them off, so I help him by pulling my shirt over my head and then my pants. He is wearing one of my shirts, as usual. His scent fills my nostrils as he touches me all over my body. The chills erupt with more of his touches.
Hurriedly, he climbs on top of me and pulls his shirt over his head. Now we are both naked. I can feel him hard against me. He wants this and there is no way I can derive him of even the smallest pleasure.
I know this is not really the time to be doing this, considering all the uncertainty going around. Right now his eyes are still blue. It seems to me that he is not even conscious of it.
I grab his waist gently and he looks at me, his cheeks crimson red ’’Your eyes, they are blue,’’ I point out.
’’Oh, do you think it is something to worry about?’’ he questions, his voice shaky and unsteady.
’’I don’t know. I just need to make sure you are okay before we continue this.’’ Like I said before, his safety and well being is my number one priority. Nothing else matters to me but him.
’’I feel fine. I just really want you right now,’’ he hides his face in the crook of my neck. He is shy from his words even though I already assured him that he has nothing to be embarrassed about.
’’You know you don’t even have to ask. You can have me whenever you want. I am yours to begin with. No questions asked.’’
He is still very reserved when it comes to communicating with me. The fact that he needs to tell me that he wants to have sex with me and be shy about it does not sit right with me.
I tilt his head from his chin so that he can look at me. ’’How about we try this again, and then we can get something to eat after,’’ I ask him.
He smiles shyly as I lean forward again, kissing him softly. This time a moan escapes his lips as he grabs unto me again with a tight grip. I plan to be extremely gentle with him.
My lips remain fused to his as I slide into him slowly. His eyes open wide from the unexpected pressure from my dick inside of him. He has already opened up to me from the numerous times we have had sex. I fit into him perfectly. Tonight is all about him. I want him to get the satisfaction he needs.
’’Are you good?’’ I ask him as his eyes roll to the back of his head. slowly, I thrust into him, grinding my hips in a circular motion. He moans against me, the sound that I desperately crave.
He claws at my back, scratching and tugging my hair. I know exactly how he feels because I feel the same way and more. Being with Jabi is everything, everything I will never let go of. He bends forward and I hit the wall of his insides, this gets a scream from him. the sound making me lose my mind.
’’Don’t stop Dar,’’ he pleads with so much desperation etched his voice.
Him saying my name during this blissful pleasure sends me over and under. I go faster and that makes him shudder and squirm against me. I feel him underneath me as his cum splatters all over my body and his. This sends me to my release. All through he holds me, and I feel like if he could, he would never let me go.
I love this kid.
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