Chapter 139

Cassius.
This has gone on for too long.
I have this back and forth relationship with this pack. It has never been this hard. I have done this for twenty years. Slowly I am getting to them all but Beau’s pack is stubborn. There is something about him. maybe it is the fact that he has the vampires support. I know it wouldn’t be easy this time. I can feel it but I will never give up.
If I end up dying this time. I will take it all as a wasted effort. I will not give up. I will get the revenge that I need.
I will get my freedom either way.
******************
Beau.
Where are you?
Lanis sends me a mind link. I am still in my wolf form eating at the deer I caught hungrily. I have never been this hungry in my whole life.
Fucking hell.
If I answer him right now, he will be upset with me.
I am worried right now, please let me know you are okay.
He sounds scared.
Okay, maybe I have gone too far.
I am fine, baby.
I decide to come clean. He will be happier to know that I am fine that I will not get too much of a scolding.
Where the fuck are you?
So much for being happy. I don’t blame him; I would react the same way if I didn’t know where he was. This was selfish of me, but I was so fucking hungry.I take another bite of the bloody mess in front of me. slowly quenching my hunger.
Beau.
He calls me again.
I don’t want to tell him anything because I know he will come looking for me. The meat in front of me feels like the best I have ever had. I have a plan. A plan that will involve Lanis and Bells. I am going to find Cassius and I will kill him. this is the only way I can do this. there is no need waiting for him to come to the community. I don’t want any more people to die.
I need to end this.
I am coming back now.
I reply to him as I finish up the rest of the hunt. The run back to the gates doesn’t take any time. I change back to my human form and walk in through the way I left. I don’t want anyone asking questions. I don’t want people thinking they can also go for hunts. Everyone’s safety is the only thing that is important to me. I go back to the house—naked and a little cold but somehow I already feel refreshed.
Once I enter the room, and Lanis stands up from the bed with worry-filled eyes. I look at the table and there is a tray filled with eggs and sausages. Now, this makes me feel like shit.
’’Where the fuck where you?’’ he cries walking closer to me.
I manage a faint smile ’’I went hunting.’’
He opens his eyes wide from the shock of my statement ’’Why would you do something like that. we agreed that we will stay inside the community until we find Cassius.’’
Yeah, we agreed but I need all the strength I can get right now. There is a plan in my head. a plan that I will put into action. I needed the energy to put things in place.
’’Cassius is going back to his house.’’
He furrows his brows ’’What are you talking about?’’
I smile ’’The place you found me when he took me. he is going back there tonight. We need to get to him.’’
I am already excited. I don’t know what the plan is but this time I won’t go alone. It wouldn’t be like the last time. I will go with Jules and Blue and everyone else. Alanis and his family are on my side. I can also get the Elis too.
’’We need to get to him tomorrow.’’
There is no time to dally around. If this is going to work, we are going to have to be very fast about it.
’’You can’t be serious,’’ I see the sceptics in his eyes.
’’I saw him. he wants to come back. He wants to attack the pack again.’’
Lanis sighs loudly ’’That is a good thing, he will come, and we will be ready when he does. We can’t go storming into his house with no clue on what to do. that is not how this works.’’
He doesn’t see things the way I see them right now. I am tired of waiting for Cassius. I want this to end and the only way it can end. Waiting for him feels like oblivion. I cannot keep living like this.
’’I can’t wait anymore. I can’t do this. I am tired of waiting.’’
He reaches for me and pulls me even closer to me ’’Look, this is a good thing. You are hearing him. that means we can be one step ahead of him when he comes. We will keep all the kids safe. This is a fight for our lives. When he comes we will fight to win this fight.’’
He is trying to convince me but I don’t think so. I really feel like we should do this my way.
’’I need to find Jules, talk to him about this.’’
I don’t know what is going on in my head but I feel like this is the way to do this. I have to do something, I can’t keep waiting for every fucking thing.
’’You have to trust me. You are being rash right now. You need to calm down and think this through.’’
I pull away from him and hurriedly walk to my underwear drawer close to the bathroom. I pull out a pair of shorts and put them on again. I need to talk to someone that can relate to me about this. I can’t think about anything else. I need to do this, my heart is telling me that this is the way to do this. I don’t know if I can listen to Lanis right now.
This is the stubborn part of me and I wish he was on my side on this. I don’t want to have to do this without him.
I need him now more than ever.
’’Where are you going?’’ he asks as I head for the door.
’’I want to find Jules. I need to talk to him about this.’’
He sighs, already seeing that I have made up my mind. ’’I called Eligio, told him about the voices. He thinks he can form a stronger connection. That should be your priority right now.’’
He wants to form a stronger connection with Cassius. That could help, hell that would be part of the plan but I need to know that I am doing this. we only have a couple of hours or we will end up losing him.
’’Beau, that is the priority for now. Going to his house isn’t. that is his territory. We need him at ours.’’
’’I need to do this,’’ I am tired of spelling this out. I am so tired of trying to prove myself.
’’I know, we will do this together. I just need you to calm down for a second. I know it is overwhelming. The fact that he is in your head now, it almost feels like he is taunting you but you can not lose control right now.’’
Is that what he thinks is happening to me?
Does he think I am losing control because I don’t want to wait for Cassius because I want to go to him instead of it being the reverse?
I don’t feel like I am losing control. I feel like this is the most control I have had in a long time.
’’Okay, can he come now. Let him swap with Bell’s or Olin.’’
Tonight is Eligio’s turn to stand guard. I make sure one of the people I trust are on guard duty every night. I don’t know who is who in this place anymore. Eligio, Darrien and Bell’s are the only one I trust to keep on guard duty.
’’I will stand guard. Bell’s needs a break for tonight,’’
This is suspicious but I don’t say anything. I want him with me, he can’t leave me right now.
’’I want you here when Eligio comes. Bell’s can spare a couple of minutes.’’
I know I am being snarky right now and maybe Lanis is right. The whole hearing Cassius seems to be getting to me. I hate that man so much and now he is in my fucking head and I can’t get rid of him.
’’Okay, I will talk to her. I just need you to take a couple of deep breaths. Everything will be alright.’’ He tries to assure me but I don’t believe him. I don’t think I know anything anymore. Lanis is too calm and composed.
I wish I was like him.
Fuck.