Chapter 325
Levine
We get to the bar and Analise skips into the building. I stop in front of the entrance because I don’t want to be here but she always needs me by her side. I am the designated driver. The one that ends up bringing her home.
“Come on,’’ she comes back out and ushers for me with a wave of her hands. I sigh loudly and walk in with her. The bar is full of people. Older people. We are so underage and we shouldn’t be here but I can never even talk to her. Analise would do what she wants. She does this thing where she likes to control every situation. She likes to order me around and I let her because being on her bad side is not a place, I would want to be in. I like peace and doing what she wants gives me peace.
“I’ll get the drinks since I look way older than you do.” I know she is going to use her fake ID’s. We have had fake ID’s since we were fifteen. She has used hers more than I have used mine. I watch her as she walks up to the bar and smiles at the bartender. He doesn’t even ask her for her ID. He just makes her drinks and she jogs back to the table I had secured for us.
“I have my eye on that guy over there,’’ she nudges in the direction of the bar. I see a man seated on the barstool. He looks to be about in his mid-twenties, his hair is jet black and long. There is no way in a million years that she has a shot with a guy like that. He will see right through her façade.
“He looks really old,’’ I point out just as she sits down and downs the first tiny glass of vodka. It looks like she wants to get drunk tonight. I don’t even want to be here at all.
“You think, he is exactly my type,’’ she scrunches up her face as the shot hits her. I shake my head because she will do the opposite of what I tell her and I want to tell her that she shouldn’t go that far. There is no way Lissy will tell the man her real age which would just make him think that she is older than she actually is.
I don’t want her to deceive him.
“I am going to make my move,’’ she attempts to stand up from the chair but I drag her arm immediately.
“You can’t leave me alone here,’’ I plead with the most desperate look on my face. This is me trying to trick her into thinking I don’t want to be alone so that I can get her to leave the guy alone. I don’t want her involved with anyone. Analise is not stable, she should just focus on her magic and do what mother wants—which is marrying Badger when she is eighteen.
“I am not leaving you alone, Badger is almost here—wait, I see him right now,’’ her eyes dart to the direction of the door and sure enough, Badger walks in, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a plain white shirt. He has on a black leather jacket. The kind that screams bad boy. He ray ban glasses are on top of his head and that wicked smile is plastered on his face.
I roll my eyes because this just makes it worse. She is going ahead to flirt with some other guy, when we both know that Badger has a thing for her. She has always stuck to the notion that they are just friends but he doesn’t look at her like she is a friend. He wants more and the moment she decides to give him that, I know he will accept it in a heartbeat.
“Why did you bring Badger?’’ I ask her in confusion.
She chuckles “I see the way you look at him Levi, I am doing you a favour,” she winks, my cheeks redden because I hate being so transparent. I hate that she caught up on that. it is not like I am in love with him or anything. It is just a crush. One that I will get over when I leave this place. Besides, it is not like I have a chance in hell. Badger likes Analise and Analise is everything that I am not.
Badger gets to us before I even have a chance to respond. He smiles widely “Hey guys,’’ he sits down on the chair next to me.
“You see that guy over there,’’ she slings her arm over Badger. He furrows his brow, but turns to the direction of the man “I want to fuck him,’’ her smile widens. I just can’t believe she was so direct about it.
“Oh really?’’ Badger mutters. I look to him, wanting to see his reaction to her blunt honesty. He must know that I can’t tell that he likes her. Is he going to show jealousy or play it cool?
“Yeah, Levi seems to think that he is too old. What do you think?’’ she asks him calmly. To her, this is just a casual conversation, to me, it is awkward as fuck.
“I think, the older the better. You should go for it.’’
He grins and for a second my heart melts. Badger is very handsome and he must know of his effect that he has on girls. Right now, I am staring at him and all I see are his perfect teeth. The dimpled smile and his luscious hazelnut hair. His eyes are like a magnet that just keeps on attracting me, no matter how much I try to repel from them.
“You don’t like older guys…I see,’’ he rubs his chin playfully.
“I am going to give it a shot,’’ Analise jumps up and we both watch her as she walks over to the guy. I look away from her because I don’t agree with this. My eyes shift back to Badger.
“Why are you okay with this?’’ I ask him. I want to know where his head is at. I want to know why he is so calm about this when I know that it must be eating him up.
“I don’t actually care who she fucks, but the questions is, why do you?’’
I look back at her and slowly watch her as she slides her hand over his arm seductively. The guy is taking the bait. As usual, Analise gets what she wants.
“Do you want to have some fun too?’’ Badger speaks up and I take my eyes away from my sister.
“Huh?’’
His smile widens “Me and you, let’s have some fun.”
I know what he means and I am not up for that. This is not how I wanted it to be. I have always imagined a life where he would see me that way. I have always wondered how he would tell me that he likes me. It was always something that I had prayed for but now, it seems so weird.
“What?’’ I can’t really comprehend what he is saying.
He shifts his stool until he is so close to me that I can feel his breath on me. It is hot and thrilling. I don’t know if I like this but when will I ever get the chance to be this close to Badger Willis? ”
“My place is empty. The rents aren’t around for the weekend. We could have our fun in private,’’ his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. I take a whiff of his scent. He smells like strawberries and musk.
“What about Lissy?’’
“I am sure she will be fine on her own,’’ he looks at her and my eyes find their way to her too. She is kissing the man. He has his arms around her. They are in such a public part of the bar and she doesn’t seem to care. Typical Lissy. “Come on,” he leans even closer and this time, his lips are an inch away from mine. I close my eyes because I have never been this close to him. It is electric and taunting at the same time.
This is a chance to have what I want for the first time in my life. If I turn him down, I will be alone tonight. I will have to watch Analise have fun.
For once in my life, would it be such a bad thing to choose myself?
Would it be such a bad thing to be selfish?
I rest my forehead on his and he closes his eyes “I know you think I have always wanted Lissy. I see it in your eyes every time I am around you guys,’’ he breathes out with his eyes still closed. I watch him as he continues. I don’t have words. I don’t even understand what is happening.
“I have always wanted you. You are the one that intrigues me, you are the one that makes me toss and turn at night.’’
My heart thuds against my chest.
This is insane but for the first time in my life, I am excited.
I want this.