Chapter 335

Gyles.
“Stay with him, I will go back,’’ Blue tells me calmly. He is not panicking right now that Rex is unconscious and I am not either. I felt him earlier, with the light and the dark smoke. I know what it means. I just don’t know how it is possible and how it was so easy.
The only explanation for the bond between him and Levine to have been severed is by death alone. Does that mean she is dead? I don’t care if she dies. I don’t even know her. The only people I care about are Blue and Rex.
“What are you going to do?’’ I ask him. He wants to look for Levine and I don’t think he should go back alone. I want to help but I know he wouldn’t want me to leave Rex right now. After everything that has happened, I have to keep an eye on him. We must protect him at all cost.
“I need to find her. You know what happened in the woods?’’
I nod. He doesn’t need to explain it. I am sure he knows that she is dead to. This is a good thing. Her dying means Rex is free. We don’t have to go through any channel to get him out of this mess. We walk away from the bed where Rex is passed out. His breathing is steady—which makes me worry less. I know he is just exhausted and very soon, he will wake up.
“I don’t think she made it. Badger didn’t give her a chance.” He reaches for my hand and I let him pull me into his arms. I don’t know how he feels about all this but he seems even more affected by this than his own mother.
“Where you close?’’ I ask him quietly.
Blue has been very closed off about his past. It is almost like he dreads that time and I wish he would open up to us. Maybe this could be a start. The beginning of trusting me.
“She was more of a mother to me than my own mother,’’ he runs his hands through his hair. I watch him, wanting to see if he will express his emotions in tears but he is trying to be strong. It will all sink in once Badger is caught and this is all over. Right now, he needs to focus on the end game and that is getting that monster in check.
“Going alone isn’t a good idea,’’ I tell him because that is my only fear. I don’t want anything to happen to him while he is trying to be brave.
“I called Major. I am not going alone.’’
It feels like a weight is being lifted off my chest with his words. I don’t trust Major—even if he helped us. I don’t trust anyone in this eerie town. This place is full of selfish people. From everything I see, I can never stay here. I just hope Blue doesn’t have any plans to stay in this place. I don’t want to have to be in the middle of him leaving.
“Okay, promise me nothing will happen to you,’’ I have this fear. One that eats at me every single day of my life. The fear that the people I love will all eventually end up dying or leaving me. All my life, I have been dealt with that plight and now that I am finally happy—or should I say at peace, some invisible force will just end up crumbling my peace.
“I am not going anywhere. You are stuck with me,’’ he smiles and it tugs at my heartstrings.
“Promise,’’ I repeat. I want him to make a promise so that it will be at the back of his mind with whatever decision he makes. I want him to think about the two people he will be leaving behind. I want to always be at the back of his mind, in everything he does.
“I promise G, I will not leave you. Not in this world and the next.” He moves closer to me and rests his forehead on mine. Intimate moments with them are always short. I want us to be together, unbothered about anything but being in each other’s arms.
“You have to believe that we happened for a reason. No one is going to take me away from you,’’ he breathes out heavily. I feel his heart beating against my chest, the sound channelling into mine. I love him so much and that is why I live in this constant fear of losing him.
“I love you Blue,’’ I confess. I love him and I always want him to know. I want him to always remember that we will always be together. He presses his lips to mine. The kiss is short. I know this is not the time for this. I know we have more important things to worry about “I will be back. I promise and then we can get out of here,’’ he smiles and it does something to my heart.
He lets go of me and takes a step away from me “You know, once this is all over, I will not let you guys out of my sight for a whole month,’’ he winks and I watch him walk down the hall until he is out of sight. I walk back into the room and Rex is still sleeping, his chest rising and falling. I sit on the only chair in the room and my phone rings just as I pick it up. It is Alanis. I haven’t heard from him in a couple of days.
I answer immediately.
“How are you guys?’’ he asks before I even say anything.
I close my eyes because this is the first calm moment I have had since everything started. I know Blue is going back there alone but I also know that he made me a promise and I am going to keep that promise in my heart until he returns.
“We are good…” I pause and then smile “Actually, we are great.’’
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