Chapter 356

Beau
My baby is adorable when he shifts to perfect mode. I know he wants this dinner to be perfect. He is expecting too much from his father. The man just accepted him and our relationship. He is not just going to come around that easily. He has his views and it will be difficult to just get him to accept ours just like that. I have to give it to him though, he is trying for his son. That is all that matters and that has brought him to my good books.
I know that he will say or do something that might end up making Lanis sad but I will be there tonight at all times and I will make sure that it doesn’t get to him. maybe I am panicking as much as Lanis is because I have been in a grouchy mood to everyone in the pack. as the leader of the pack, I haven’t done my Alpha ceremony and it is something that Alby has been pushing me to do. I am not scared—okay, maybe I am a little scared. I still have insecurities that I keep to myself. There are times when I think I am not good enough even though everyone else seems to believe in me.
Alby is so sure that I can handle everything and I want to believe him. hell, the only person that makes me believe that I can take up anything is Lanis. He is the comfort to all the clouded thoughts in my head.
Even though I haven’t done the ceremony. I have made some changes in the community. Not everyone is okay with the changes I have made but the majority of the people seem to be. For one, all omegas are allowed to go hunting. There is no differentiating again because it never really made sense to me. the rules of the community have always been that way. I plan to change every single rule. The traditions that we have held unto. I don’t believe in the majority of them.
We have a training every other day. Everyone is made to attend. We reached a stage where we relied on only the ones that were deemed strong. Most of the people in the pack were not strong enough to fight. We had become weak and now I want everyone to be able to defend themselves. I don’t want another Cassius situation—not like I am asking for an attack but just in case. I need everyone to be able to protect themselves.
“What crawled up your ass,’’ Bells walks up to me after the training ends and people are leaving the field. I release a sigh because I have been on my best behavior around Lanis. I know it is not healthy but I don’t want to upset him during this pregnancy. No matter what happens, I let him have the last say in the conversation and I guess at the end of it all, I need to take out the pent-up frustrations on someone else.
“Lanis is nervous about the dinner tonight,’’ I tell her because Bell’s is really the only one that I can talk to.
She smiles “it seems like you are the one that is nervous.’’ She points out and I shake my head immediately. I don’t care about his father. Even if Cranwell doesn’t accept me, I don’t have any problems with it. the only reason why this is important to me is that it is important to my mate.
“I am not nervous.’’
“You have been in a mood all day. You never yell but that is all you did today. Nobody made any progress because of your mood. Why are you in this mood?’’
I sigh.
“Nothing.’’
She scoffs “Should I ask Alanis. Maybe he can give me the answer that you are avoiding,’’ she tries to walk away from me but I grab her arm.
“Are you fucking insane?”
She laughs “Then maybe you should tell me before I get it from someone else.”
I let go of her arm and run my hands through my hair. I am sweating profusely from today’s activities. These workouts help. “If tonight doesn’t go well, it will make Lanis sad. I don’t want him sad.’’
She smiles “Lanis will be fine. This is about you. you are nervous that they wouldn’t like you. they wouldn’t accept you. that is why you are in a mood.”
“You are trying to read me, it is not working,’’ I cross my arms over my chest. I know what she is doing. this her psychoanalyzing isn’t going to work.
“I don’t care about them.”
She rolls her eyes in disbelief “You might be in denial but at the end of the day. They are your mate’s family. If he doesn’t like you, it should affect you. no matter what you say. I felt the same way when I met Justin’s parents for the first time. it is the natural reaction.’’
I frown “That is not what is happening.’’ I brush her off and walk away from her with my shirt in my grip. I walk all the way to the house until I get to the room and the second, I see him rummaging through clothes on the bed. My heart thuds in my chest. He is beautiful. So beautiful and he is all mine. I stand by the door for a while, watching him as he pulls the shirt over his head. I see the bump. My babies are inside me and it warms me up completely.
Lanis will always be everything to me.
His acceptance, the love he holds for me. I will always be indebted to him. maybe Bells is right. I mean, I need them to accept me because that will make him happy and I live to make him happy. I want this dinner to go well, I want Cranwell to have such a good time. I need him to love his son the way he always has because it means everything to him.
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