Chapter 371

Blue
I don’t know why this keeps happening and I don’t know how to handle it. just when you think that things will go back to normal, something just happens and completely fucks that up. I want to just fix everything even though I know that I can’t do anything on my own.
I walk down the stairs and out of the house. I didn’t want to get upset, I don’t want him or Rex to ever be scared to come to talk to me. freaking out would just prove why he didn’t want to tell me in the first place. I find Jules in the garage, underneath his truck.
“Dad,’’ I call his name.
He slides out and looks up at me, his clothes are covered in grease but the worry springs up immediately he notices my expression.
“I need to talk to you. do you have a minute?’’
He nods and leads me out of the garage and once we are outside. I take a deep breath because I don’t even know how to say this to him. I have kept mom’s death from him because I didn’t think it was something that he needed to know. Everything that happened in the coven was like some forbidden conversation that I didn’t want to have with him.
“What is wrong?’’ he asks, slowly reaching for my arm.
I watch him because I don’t know how he will react to this. he never had a relationship with her and maybe that was why I felt like telling him will not make a difference. He would just worry about me and wonder how it is affecting me.
“Stuff happened when I went back home. A lot of stuff that is catching up to me even though we left.”
“What do you mean?’’ he asks me curiously.
I take a deep breath “Mom didn’t make it this time. they got to her.’’
He furrows his brows in confusion “What are you talking about?’’
I look away from him because this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I don’t know how he is going to help me, help Gyles. This is sorcery, magic that he doesn’t even know anything about. How is a lone wolf in the middle of the woods supposed to help me?
Your father knows a lot of people. He might just know the person that can help you.
My wolf reminds me. yes, Jules has a lot of connections but is it the kind of connection that can help us right now. I need to try because I don’t want to go back to the coven. I don’t want to take two steps backward when I already thought I was away from that mess.
“What happened?’’ he adds when he notices my silence.
“Mom didn’t make it. she is dead.’’ I blurt it out because this is the easiest way, I can do this. the only way that makes this fast.
“You are joking… right?’’
I shake my head “No, she was stabbed to death.” My tone is cold and dismissive. A normal person is supposed to feel this in a different manner. I am supposed to be in tears just thinking about it but her death came with my freedom and I don’t want it to hold me back.
“How are you?’’ he asks because that is the next question that anyone would have.
“I am okay. Is it bad that all I feel is relief? Am I such a bad person that the first thought that came to me when I found out was that I could finally be free?’’
At this point, the tears that I have somehow been storing inside me come out. I am not crying because I am sad. These tears are for all the guilt I feel. The guilt of not being sad. As he takes me in his arms, I let him. I embrace my father and let it all out.
I don’t hold back.
******************
I tell him everything and he tells me to give him a couple of hours. I don’t know what he can help us with but I hope he has a solution to this. I go back to the room and Gyles is seated on the floor with his back to the bed. Rex jumps up from the bed when he notices me. he is the one that noticed. He is the one that sees the things I am too blind to see. Maybe I was just in denial. I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. I didn’t expect to have everything figured out. all I had were the hopes that have been completely shattered.
“We need to go back to the community,’’ he breathes out. Gyles looks up from his phone but he remains quiet.
“I spoke to my dad. He said to give him a couple of hours. Let’s wait on him and then we will figure this out.’’
Rex shakes his head “Alby will know what to do. he is the strongest one spiritually and whatever this is, is spiritual. We need to talk to him. he can help us.”
I don’t know what Alby is capable of but I know Jules. If there is anyone that can help us. he is the one.
“Okay, just let’s wait for Jules. Then we can go home.”
I see the look on his face. he doesn’t agree with me but he is also not going to fight me on this. I have to do everything I can first before I shove this down the drain. I walk over to Gyles and he watches me as I get on my knees “How are you feeling right now?’’
He covers his face with his hands, I guess he doesn’t even want to look at me “Same. the voices have stopped for now.’’
That is a relief but I also know that I can’t just keep my hopes on that. they will still come back. even though the book is far away from us, somehow, it is still tied to him.
I want to cut the ties completely.