Chapter 420

Gyles
“Gyles, wake up,’’ I recognize the voice. Suddenly, I feel safer than I have for I don’t even know how long.
I know that I am safe now. I know that I can finally rest.
“Gyles, wake up,” I hear the voice again. This time, I open my eyes. I see the light of the moon. I see the figure standing above me. Her beautiful eyes are overpowering but I am glad to see her because that means that it is all over. She wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t the end of the punishment…right?
I blink my eyes a few times to get them used to the light and I realize that I am still in the cave. I don’t really know how this ritual works but now I think I am going to be in this cave until it is fully done. The sky is still dark but, it is still nighttime, I don’t know how many nights I have spent here.
I think I might be going crazy.
“Gyles, wake up,” she says again. I sit up and look at her, I don’t even have any strength to even sit up properly. I rest my back on a rock and keep my eyes on her with a faint smile. I am happy to see her. Selene is a comfort that I need right now. Even though she is the one that punished us–I deserved it.
“Is it over?’’ I ask her because that is all I want.
To know if it is over. To know if I can finally rest.
“Soon,” she answers. I close my eyes and I rest my head on the rock.
“Gyles, wake up,” I hear her voice again. This time, I look at her. She is smiling “You are strong, always remember that.’’
Her words are comforting. Because I feel like all the strength in my body was taken away. She takes my hands into hers and I feel a warmth in me. This warmth is love.
We sit in silence for a while. Finally, she speaks again. “I hope you are ready,’’ she says. I look at her and she looks at me with a warm smile on her face. I nod and she places her hands on the back of my head.
“Close your eyes,” she says kindly and I obey her immediately. Selene is the goddess of the moon. She is the one I pray to, the one that makes me believe that this thing with Blue and Rex will work. She is the one that showed me the light when I was surrounded by darkness.
I feel her warm and soft hands on the back of my head. Suddenly, I feel the heat on my lips and I part it open to liquid. The liquid is warm and it is a bit bitter. As soon as I feel the liquid, I begin to feel the warmth of my body. The warmth of my body is like the sun, it is radiant and it makes me feel good. Even though the liquid is bitter, I can’t stop myself from drinking it. I feel the strength coming back to me and I feel a power surge through me. The power is like a warm fire that burns in me. It makes me feel strong and it makes me feel better. I don’t even remember how I felt before. That feeling of weakness and that feeling of being trapped inside my own body. The power that surges through me makes me feel alive like I can do anything and everything. I feel my wolf.
I open my eyes and I realize that Selene is still there. She is still smiling at me. I smile back at her and I look at her. I can see the same love in her eyes that I have just looking at her.
“Did you learn anything from this?’’ she asks me.
I think back to all I went through, I think back to the dreams to the hallucinations, to the weakness. I remember all of it.
“I think I did,’’ I tell her.
She shakes her head “Don’t think, I want to know what you have learned.’’
she speaks.
“I have learned that I deserve this,” I can feel the tears building up in my eyes. I have felt so worthless for so long. Even being with Blue and Gyles, I didn’t feel like I deserved their love. I think back to all the people that have ever loved me and their fates. I think back to all the death, all the hurts and I don’t want the same fate for them but this time, I feel like it is different.
I feel like we will save each other.
“What do you deserve,’’ she asks me.
“I deserve to be happy,’’
I tell her.
Selene smiles “Then, you must be happy,’’ she says to me.
She is telling me that I should be happy, she is the goddess and she believes in me. Then why has it been so hard to believe in me? For so long, I have doubted everything but I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to give in to my demons, I don’t want to be weak.
I nod my head and I smile at her again. She places her hands on my head again and I feel the warmth of the liquid inside my body and I feel the warmth of the moon on my face. I feel the moon on my face and I close my eyes. I feel my wolf and I feel the strength in my body.
I open my eyes “Rest now,’’ she says to me with that beautiful smile still on her face. I keep my eyes closed as I hear her footsteps fading away. I don’t even feel alone when she disappears because I know that in just a short time, I will be with them again. I can’t wait to hold them in my arms, I can’t wait to kiss them again.
I will be happy.