Chapter 662

Beau
“It is time,’’ Alby tells us.
I am in a frenzy.
Confusion and fear.
I remember when my wolf woke up.
I was ten.
They are just six.
They are too young.
The pain I felt was excruciating and I don’t think I am ready for my babies to feel that pain.
“It is too early,’’ I say deadpan.
My voice is shaking.
I am panicking and Lanis can see it. he grabs my hand in his and squeezes it gently but it doesn’t help. He always has a way of helping me through all the tough times but this time it involves my babies and I can’t help but not worry. I will always worry about them and I am not ready for them to go through the pain of the first turn.
They are just babies.
“Is there a way to stop it, I mean they are not ready,’’ I cry desperately for something from the oldest wolf in the pack.
He raises a brow “Are they not ready or are you not ready?’’ he asks.
I shake my head even though I know the answer to his question. I am not ready and that means they are not ready.
“You have to relax. This is a good thing. The moment in a wolf’s life where they unite with their counterparts. There is no reason to stop this, even if they are younger than the norm.”
I hate his words.
Everything about me has been out of the norm and the same thing is happening to my babies. Sure, they are hybrids. This is different with them.
I understand all this but I don’t want to watch this.
I don’t want to see the pain they will have to go through.
“I can’t watch them hurt,’’ I confess.
“You are the Alpha. You have to be there.
We are in the living room.
The kids are in their room but I knew the signs even though they haven’t started feeling the pains. The headaches, the sweat even though the AC is on. The voice in their heads.
It happened to me, so I know it all.
“Shit,’’ I exclaim.
Alby smiles “As I said, this is a good thing. Do not worry about the pain. It won’t last,’’ he stands up from the couch and I stand up too. I am anxious and worried and they can all sense it.
“You need to take a deep breath and prepare for this. you can’t act panicked in front of them, it will only scare them,’’ he tells me as he walks in the direction of the door, I follow him “I will be back in exactly two hours, that is when the pain will start.’’
Alby is the only one that is calm in this room.
I mean, it is not his child. He doesn’t have to worry as we do. Lanis doesn’t even know how this works, so this is worse for him. I can sense that much from the way he is quiet.
Once Alby leaves the room, Lanis speaks up “How do we even explain this to them?” he asks.
“I don’t know. They already know, I think we have prepared them enough for this but I just don’t know if I can be present when it happens,’’ I tell him honestly.
“Was your father present for yours?’’
I close my eyes as I remember. He was there all through it. His words of encouragement are what kept me going. I couldn’t have gone through that without him present.
I can’t absent myself from theirs.
They need me.
“We have to be there.’’
He sighs and then runs his hands through his hair in frustration. I like to be in control and right now, I am not in control of the situation. We had a couple of years before this. why does this have to happen now?
“How do we even prepare them for this. they are babies,’’ I cry. I don’t want to be weak but they are my weakness.
I can’t fathom, how strong I will be for this process.
“We can’t. We just have to be there for them.”
We both walk to their room. They are both on different sides of the room. Colin is on the bed, with a book in his grasp. He is always reading. His small eyes are focused on the pages. There is a crinkle on his forehead, from too much squinting. Colin is smart and very intellectual for his age. He is a happy kid. I love him so much. Colm on the other hand is by the tv. His hands are squeezing the game console as he presses random buttons. He is playing a video game and the noise should distract my other son but it doesn’t, once he is focused on a book, nothing can distract him.
There are sweat beads on his face—on both their faces.
They are two.
I have to focus on the two of them but that is not possible at the same time.
I walk over to Colm, Lanis goes over to Colin.
I go on my knees to his level and he stops his game. His eyes are on me. They are bright. Nothing but innocent joy in them.
In a couple of hours, that will change.
I don’t want that.
“Are we okay dad?” he asks calmly.
Alby came over to see them, and he predicted what I already knew. I didn’t even need him to tell me what I already knew. I can sense the change inside them, even though it has not come outside yet.
I hate this right now.
“Do you remember what we talked about when you were four? When we said that your wolves would eventually want to find you?’’
He nods, a smile forming on his face. we might have told him everything but how much it would hurt. Now I don’t know how we could break it to them. “Well, it is happening today. It is time.’’
There is excitement in his eyes. He is happy about this.
“Isn’t that a good thing, why are you sad?” he asks me.
He is perceptive.
“We didn’t mention how much it is going to hurt, we didn’t want to scare you,’’ I tell him. I hear Lanis as he talks to Colin. He is as calm as me.
We work as a team.
“How much?’’ he asks.
I pause, trying to look for a smooth way to say this but I can’t lie to them. I have to be honest “A lot.”
Something changes in his eyes but the excitement never leaves “Are we going to be, okay?’’
I nod.
The pain will last for about thirty minutes but once it does, they will be fine. “Then we can’t worry dad. You said pain is not forever, so we will be fine after,’’ he reaches for me and my heart melts inside my chest.
Maybe they are stronger than me.
I mean they are the future of this pack.
They can do this.