Chapter 247
Beau.
I hear their conversation outside the door even before Lanis walks back into the room. There is a part of me that is hurt right now. I don’t know if I can show it to him because he is vulnerable right now. Lanis and Gyles have a friendship that just formed recently and I don’t think I like It.
He told him before me.
He knew he was pregnant and he told a stranger before me. I tell him everything and I see the fear inside him. This is new to him—it is new to me. It’s not like I have any knowledge on this and I understand where he is coming from. I can’t really know how he feels because it is not happening to me but I just wish he would understand that we are in this together.
I will always be by his side.
I will protect him through this process.
The door opens and he walks into the room “Gyles is outside.” He tells me.
I stand up from the bed and walk over to the door “I know, I heard your conversation clearly.’’ I don’t tell him what I heard but I say it in a way to let him know that I heard everything. I want him to think about it and know that I know. The way I found out was not the way I imagined to find out. I thought he would be excited for this but now I know that he doesn’t actually want this and I don’t know how to feel about it.
I open the door and Gyles looks up from the phone I just gave him “Hey Beau,’’ he manages nervously. He is always nervous around me. I guess he isn’t around Lanis.
Not the time to be jealous.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,’’ I tell him blatantly because I don’t even want to go around it with him. Blue gave me his address. He wanted me to watch out for them. Yeah, he is upset with Gyles and I get that but he still cares about the guy and he wouldn’t want anything to happen to him.
“Please. I need to see him,’’ Gyles walks closer to me, his own attempt at convincing me.
I actually am not too invested in his love story because I have my own to worry about. I can’t force him not to do this and if I don’t give it to him, he will find another way. I don’t think he has realized that the three of them are connected. He can find him if he tries hard enough.
“Whatever, just be careful,’’ I tell him as I walk over to the work table in my room and write it down on a sticky note. I give it to him and he smiles widely.
“Thank you, thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
Gyles leaves the room and Lanis tries to walk out of the room. I know he was going to the kitchen earlier. He is not hiding his hunger anymore. So I have seen him eat twice today. It is weird to see his appetite change from blood to actual food. I can’t even believe it myself.
“Wait a minute,’’ I stop him.
He groans and I can see the gap in our relationship. These babies are supposed to bring us closer but it is pulling us apart. I want to handle this is the best way possible but I don’t even know how to do that.
“If it is about Gyles, I am sorry,’’ he goes straight to the point. Lanis is smart and he can read the room. He knows I am upset about this even though I haven’t said anything. I won’t snap at him—I don’t want this to cause any problems. I just want him to trust me.
He trusts you. He just doesn’t want to disappoint you.
“Lanis, I don’t understand this. You wanted this as much as I did.’’ I tell him as I walk closer to him. I am trying to understand him and how he is feeling because he is the most important person in my life. I don’t want him unhappy. This process shouldn’t be one that will make him miserable.
“I didn’t want this. I don’t want this.”
I nod. This is good. He is being honest. I want his honesty right now “Okay, I might have thought wrong, do you think this is a mistake?’’
He sighs loudly “It is not normal Beau. Men are not supposed to get pregnant.” He exclaims loudly. All the frustrations that he has been trying to hide, finally coming out. Nothing about our relationship is normal and he already knows that. so this is his fear talking.
“You think something will go wrong?’’
He nods “I don’t want this Beau. I don’t want this pregnancy. I don’t want the babies.”
My heart aches from his confession because I don’t like this at all. Before this happened, we talked about those babies. We talked about having them and we were excited about it and now that it is real, he is denying it all.
“You can’t say that Lanis, you have seen them,” I reach for his hand and he doesn’t push me off him “You felt them too. So I don’t understand why you are condemning them like this.’’
“I am not condemning them, I just don’t accept this. I didn’t choose for this to happen. Why can’t you be the one? Why does it have to happen to me? When did I accept to be the woman in this relationship.’’
His confessions have me shocked because Lanis has always been the rational one in the relationship. He has always been calm about everything and seeing him in this light is surprising. I can’t fault him because I know how he feels. This is scary and new to him.
He wants this but he is just scared.
I watch him, there are tears welling up in his eyes. I don’t want to be the reason why he cries right now. I don’t want to bring him sadness but I don’t know what to do.
“Okay Alanis, what do you want?’’ I want to know what he wants me to do. Does he want to get rid of them? Is that what he is saying right now because it has already happened? He is already pregnant. There is nothing I can do to change that.
“I don’t want this,’’ he doesn’t even hesitate.
I raise a brow, letting go of his hand. I want him to come out right and tell me what he wants. I want him to use his words.
“Say it, Alanis,’’ I breathe out.
He sighs as the tears fall from his eyes and to his cheeks. He has already made up his mind and he knows that I know what he is thinking. I will not accept this because they are mine too. I should have a say in this but right now, it is his body. So it is up to him.
“I want to get rid of it,’’ he says finally and it feels like my heart shatters into a million pieces because no matter how much I love him, I won’t forgive him if he does this,
Search theFindNovel.netwebsite on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.