Chapter 347
Gyles.
I am so pissed.
I close the door of the bathroom and the anger within intensifies. Blue never listens to me. He looks at me and he is always reminded of the things I did in the past. No matter how much I try to show him that I have changed, he never listens.
I take a deep breath as I rest my body weight on the sink. He promised me a day or two and now he is thinking about staying. I don’t want to leave this place without him. I don’t even think it is even possible. I mean, I will worry the whole time I am away from him. Rex is not as expressive as I am. He will never leave Blue here alone. He will not agree to leave with me—not like that is what I want. I just want to leave this place. Blue said he took the book but I have been having nightmares consecutively for the last two days.
Maybe my interest in the book is what caused it but I am so sure that once I leave this place, it will all stop. That is the main reason why I have been so aggressive about it. The more I stay here, the more it messes with my head. I am scared and I haven’t talked to Blue about him. I don’t want him to think that this is somehow my fault.
At the end of it all, most things that have happened have been because of me.
Once I am done changing, someone knocks on the door. I don’t want to face Blue right now. Especially since I behaved like a child. I didn’t mean to react that way but I was desperate. Desperate to get out of this place. I should have known that he would go for the whole, ’leave first and I will come back to you’ ruse.
“It’s me,” I hear Rex’s voice, which makes me assume that Blue is no longer in the room. He opens the door without waiting for a response and I watch him walk over to me. His expression is calm, he doesn’t seem to see this as a problem. At the end of it all, I might just be the only one overreacting.
“We need to leave this place,’’ I tell him.
He nods “I know.’’
I sigh “Why are you not on my side. You need to find a way to convince him that this is the best thing to do right now. He is acting like he is doing this for Major but Major will be fine on his own. He has made it this far.’’
He nods again “I showed him what Levine wanted him to see,’’ he changes the topic.
“When I walked in?’’
“Yeah.”
I didn’t see the memories but Rex told me what it was. Told me how terrible his mother was when she was alive. Maybe that is why he has so many conflicts. I might be loud and selfish but I am doing this for us. Staying here is a danger to all three of us.
Then talk to him. Do not keep your fears inside.
My wolf is the only rational part of me and most times, it is usually the other way around. I completely understand I know but at the end of it all, I just end up being insecure. I don’t want to disappoint him like I have been doing since I met him.
“Shit.’’
He nods again. Maybe if I confide in Rex, he can tell me what I can do to make this better. There is a reason why the book is still affecting me. Maybe it is because I used it. I didn’t even actually use it. I just got trapped in a situation that I couldn’t get out of.
“He needs us right now. He knows that the best thing for us is to leave. Blue is a very rational person. Just let him handle the loss he is facing in his own way.”
“I don’t think I have enough time,’’ I breathe out. I haven’t told him anything but this feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
“What do you mean?’’ he asks.
“There’s this book of spell that Blue brought. He said it wasn’t a good book. I wasn’t supposed to touch it but I did and ever since I have been hearing voices in my head.’’
He furrows his brows, I continue “It is kind of a touchy subject because he warned me. I don’t know how to tell him that the book somehow found a way into my head. I don’t want to upset him. That is why we need to leave. The farther I am away from this place, the better it is.’’
He shakes his head “You cannot assume. You need to talk to Blue about this.”
I know he is right but I wished he wasn’t. I just created a scene and now I have to go back to him and talk about this. I hate this so much.
“He is going to blame me for this. He is going to think I did something. He still doesn’t trust me. I am the problematic one in this relationship.’’ I am acting like a child right now, my insecurities are all coming out and this is because of Blue.
“You know you have to. Blue trusts you. If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be here with us. Just tell him what is going on. He is the only one that can help you.”
He is right and I need to do this.
I walk out of the bathroom and Blue is not in his room. He left because of me. At the end of everything, I am the cause of all our problems.
“He went to check on Major,’’ Rex explains even though I didn’t ask. The door opens suddenly and he stops in front of it. I see the hesitation in his eyes. He doesn’t want to walk into a fight. Maybe that is all I do.
Fight and cause problems.
“I need to talk to you.’’