Chapter 433
Alanis
“How is that possible? They are inside you.’’ he points out the obvious. I know he is just going back to overthinking with my confession but he is really the only one that I can talk to about this.
“I don’t know, I have tried to feel them. It hasn’t worked so far,’’ I say in frustration. I want the bond, I crave it desperately. That is the only way this pain will feel worth it. Right now, I just don’t know how I feel.
“Are you sure it is normal? Maybe I should speak to Alby about this,’’ he suggests.
I shake my head because I know that this is something I have to deal with on my own “Nothing about this pregnancy is normal. I don’t think it would be a good idea to involve Alby in this. He can’t help me. I have to deal with this on my own,’’ I tell him.
“What if something is wrong?’’ he asks me. The door opens suddenly, interrupting our conversation. I look at the door and I see Gyles with worry-filled eyes.
He is standing by the door as Beau sits up on the bed. The sky is grey. It is almost nighttime and I don’t want to spend it here but with the way things are, it seems like that is a possibility.
“You can come in,’’ Beau gestures, slowly getting off the bed. I look at Gyles and a slow smile creeps up to my face. I know that he is done with the ceremony and his scent is different.
“Hey,’’ he waves his hand in the air as he slowly walks up to the bed. Beau plants a soft kiss on my forehead “I will be back,’’ he tells me and I watch him as he walks out of the room.
“Are you okay?’’ he asks me quietly.
I sit up on the bed with that smile still on my face. I am so happy for him and I am sure that he can tell. “Tell me everything, how was it?”
He smiles and sits down on the edge of the bed gently.
He looks blissful and the way he looks at me makes me feel the same. “It was amazing. I don’t know how to describe it. It was so beautiful and I feel like I am different. I don’t think I can ever go back to being the person I was before. You were right about this. It is worth it”
I smile widely at him. It is so good to see him happy. I know that he has changed. He has become so much calmer and he has a glow about him. I want to ask him so many questions, I want to know how the punishment felt and how he overcame it.
“You don’t look okay,’ he points out changing the topic.
I don’t want to talk about the babies right now and how much pain I am in. It is like a tugging inside me. One that keeps getting worse.
“Wow, I thought you would notice my glow too,’’ I point to my stomach through one of Beau’s oversize shirts. There was a time when you wouldn’t even notice the bump but in less than a week, I can’t even hide it with an oversized shirt.
“Oh, there is a glow, your eyes are glowing.” he points out the obvious. I can’t switch it off. As Ogma said, it is almost like my body is in survival mode and I am strongest when I am a vampire. So this is my body fighting the most important part of me right now.
I just wish I didn’t have to fight, I just wish it didn’t have to be like this but I take this over not having them in the first place.
“Are you okay?’’ he asks me worriedly.
His tone is sincere. I know that Gyles genuinely cares about me and that means a lot to me.
“In a lot of pain,’’ I tell him, shrugging my shoulders
“What can I do?’’ he asks me.
I think for a moment. I don’t think anything is going to help me but I like his company. “Can you just distract me, tell me about the ritual. I want all the details.”
“Alright, well I can do that,” he says with a grin.
I lean back against the pillows and listen as he talks about the ceremony and how beautiful it was. I watch him as he talks, he is glowing and he is so happy that it only makes me feel better. I know that the babies are safe and that they will be born soon. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I am excited to find out.
“Do you want to talk about anything?’’ he asks, looking at me carefully.
I smile at him. I don’t want to distract him with my problems. I know that he is still going through his drama with the coven and I wish I was strong enough to help him but right now, my priority is my babies.
“I think you have a lot to deal with. Have you been hearing the voices since you came out of the caves?’’
He shakes his head “No, I should be glad but at the same time, I am terrified of what is yet to come. No one has said anything about going back but I feel like it is something we need to do. I don’t want to just wait until things get worse.’’
I smile because he is worrying and I don’t think he needs to focus on the future right now “It has just been a couple of days, why don’t you just enjoy the quiet time you have been given. Focus on your mates and leave the rest for the future you.’’
He nods and I know that I have made him feel better. He looks at me and he sighs. “Thank you for all this. You know, for everything you have done for me, being a friend in a lot of confusing times,’’ he breathes out but I don’t think he needs to thank me.
Talking to Gyles is very comforting for me. It makes me think about things in a different perspective.
Right now, I am so focused on not being able to feel my babies, I am so focused of hurting them, instead of just being thankful for them.
I rest my hand on my stomach and I just close my eyes and let myself feel. I let myself feel the miracle inside me.
I take a deep breath and I feel it. I feel them. It is not a bond but it is a feeling of love and protection that I have never felt before.
I just smile and I look over at Gyles, who is smiling widely at me.
“Maybe you are right,’’ he says to me.
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