Chapter 442
Darrien
I leave Alanis and I can’t help but think about how he felt. I can’t help but think about the insecurities he has been feeling. He looks terrible, the pregnancy must be taking a toll on him but that doesn’t mean he is not attractive. I know Beau only has eyes for Alanis but he can be blind sometimes. I never want to feel that way with Jabi. Jabi is the most beautiful man I have ever met. He sees me in a way that no one has ever before and I always want us to be this way.
I walk to the cabin and I hear him shuffling around in the room. We are supposed to go back to the apartment tonight but now, I just want to be with him here. I take off my clothes and throw them on the floor of the living room as I walk into the bedroom. He looks up from the bag in front of him and his eyes furrow in confusion.
“Why are you naked?’’ he asks me immediately.
I smile as I walk closer to him. That is not the response I wanted but I will take it “What do you think?” I ask him, raising my hands up in the air. I want him to see me, I want him to want me right now.
He laughs and then shakes his head in disbelief “I have packed a couple of your stuff but I don’t know what else you want to take with you. How is Alanis?’’ he asks me, rambling in the process. He is not even looking at me.
I come to a halt and I walk around him, facing him. I pull his face up to look at me “Jabi, I want you to look at me.” I say, my voice is soft and stern as I plant my hands on his shoulders firmly. All he does is stare at me in confusion. He is not looking at me, he is not even paying attention to what I am saying.
“What is going on? why are you naked?’’ he questions, a smile on his face.
I roll my eyes and shake my head “I am naked. How do you feel about that?’’ I ask him. I am not insecure or anything. I don’t have a problem with how I look. Fuck, I know I am a good-looking motherfucker but I want him to see me and think about nothing but what he is looking at. Right now, it seems like his attention is solely on packing shit to a bag.
He burst out laughing and he pulls me into his arms “I am not sure what you are doing, baby but it is funny as hell’’ he says.
His laughter makes me smile but I shake that out of my head because this is not the response I wanted.
“Why are you laughing?’’
“Because you are trying to be sexy but you are not doing a good job at it.’’ he tells me.
I frown and I pull away from him “I am not trying to be sexy. I want you to look at me and think of nothing else but me.’’ I tell him.
“Why? is that not the way I always look at you?’’ he asks.
I laugh and I shake my head “I am naked in front of you and you can’t stop trying to pack a bag? does that make sense to you.’’
He shrugs “I have seen you naked so many times, this is not a new thing for me,’’ he reminds me.
I shake my head “That is not what I am talking about,’’ I say, frustrated.
He raises an eyebrow and then he does that thing where he curls the left corner of his lips up “What do you mean?’’
I pull away from him and I walk back over to the bed “I want you to look at me and think of nothing else but how you feel right now.’’
He raises an eyebrow yet again and he is looking at me in disbelief.
“Do you have to be naked for me to look at you and feel this way?’’ he asks me.
I roll my eyes and I hold out my hand for him to come to me. He takes my hand and I pull him to me. I wrap my arms around him and I kiss his cheek “You don’t even want me right now?’’ I ask him desperate for him to lose his cool from seeing me naked.
I don’t know what I am doing but I want him to do something out of the ordinary. I want him to lose his mind right now.
“I feel this way about you even with your clothes on. you don’t have to be naked for me to see or want to feel you. even when you have clothes on, I feel this way about you.’’ he smiles and bats his lashes.
I pull him closer to me and he welcomes me “Did something happen with Alanis? is that why you are acting so weird?’’ he asks me, almost like he can tell what is wrong.
I shake my head “No, I just, okay maybe I am acting weird. I just don’t want us to get so comfortable and forget the spark in our relationship.”
“Is that spark sex?’’ he asks me.
I shake my head “Not sex, we have plenty of sex. I don’t even know
how to explain it to you. We have just gotten so comfortable together that it makes me wonder if we still have that spark.’’
“I don’t think being comfortable is a bad thing, I am finally myself around you. I am finally who I have always supposed to be with you. Just because I don’t stare or ogle at your dick right now doesn’t mean I don’t want you to carry me to the bed and fuck my brains out.”
My eyes open wide from the shock of his words. The old Jabi would have never said something like that.
Maybe I am a bad influence but I like it.
So, fucking much.
I grab his waist and lift him up as he wraps his legs around my waist “why don’t we do what you want then?’’
I smile because there is no way the spark is dead.
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