Chapter 451
Beau
I see the look in his eyes before they close.
I see his lifeless body as he drops our baby on his chest. I hear the screams as the baby starts to cry but I can’t do anything because of that look in his eyes. I can’t do anything because I’m frozen in place.
I watch the scene in front of me, I watch as Ogma rushes over to him and one of the other healers takes the baby from his lifeless arms. I watch as they start to try to revive him. I can’t feel the connection we have always had. Right now, I don’t feel anything from him. I feel the tears start to stream down my face. I feel the pain in my chest. The pain that I know will never go away.
I feel the emptiness in my heart and the confusion in my mind. I can’t understand what has happened.
I look for hope in their eyes. I want to be optimistic but I don’t know how to be. I am scared. I am scared that this will never be the same.
“What is going on?’’ I manage but Ogma is distracted. She is trying to cover him up. They opened him up to bring the babies out and now he is not healing, he is bleeding all over the bed. His blood–his human blood.
My mate is a vampire but right now, I can’t sense his presence. He is not alive anymore. He is gone but he can’t be gone, he can’t be dead. I need him back. I don’t want to do this alone.
“He was supposed to heal on his own, the babies are not inside anymore. He was supposed to be fine.’’ Ogma says but she is not looking at me. I shake my head because I don’t know what she is talking about.
“Please save him,’’ I beg with so much desperation inside me.
“The healer that took my baby comes back into the room and reaches for the other one. I want to follow her but all my attention is fixed on Lanis. I need him to be okay.
“I will do my best Beau, give us some space,’’ Ogma tells me, this time, she looks up at me and my heart throbs against my chest with worry and fear. I can tell that she is doing her best to save him.
“Please just wait outside,” she tells me but I am still frozen in place.
I feel the tears on my face as I hear the cries of our newborn baby. “Please save him Ogma,’’ I manage but I can barely hear my own voice.
I watch her nod and then I turn to leave. I hold my hand against my chest. I feel the ache inside me. I feel the pain.
I walk out of the room and close the door behind me. I lean against it and I let out a cry of pain. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I let out a scream of frustration and I punch the wall.
“Beau,’’ I hear someone say but I don’t know who it is. I don’t know who it is because I am too consumed by the pain I feel inside me.
I feel hands on my shoulders and I let out a scream of frustration. “Please,’’ I beg and then I feel a strong embrace.
“Beau, he is not gone,’’ I hear someone say but I don’t know who it is. I feel the arms around me as my cries become louder. I am sobbing in the corridors and I don’t even know who I am holding.
“Please…please,’’ I beg but I don’t know what I am begging for. I don’t know what I am asking for. I just want Lanis back.
I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I feel the pain as it takes over my body. I feel as if my heart is being ripped out of my chest. The pain is so real that I can’t even breathe.
“Beau, they are trying to save him. He is not gone,’’ the voice tells me and I feel the arms around me tighten. I feel the arms and I realize who it is.
I feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I look up at Bells. I know I am ruining her white dress. I know I am making a mess of her hair but I don’t even care. I am in pain and I need someone to hold me.
“I can’t lose him,’’ I tell her and I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I feel the pain as it takes over my body.
“I know,’’ she whispers and I feel her hand on my back. I let out a cry. I want to stop but the pain is too much.
“I need him back,’’ I cry and I feel her hold me tighter. At this point, I am just pouring out my heart to her. There is nothing I can do but wait. Wait for the door to open. I can’t focus on the blessing I have been given tonight. I can’t focus of the happiness that I felt before I saw the look in his eyes.
Before I saw him drop our baby.
I feel the pain in my heart. I feel the ache in my chest. I feel the emptiness in my soul.
Lanis, please come back to me.
I send him a mind link but for the first time since I met him, I don’t feel him on the receiving end.
I want to be optimistic and believe that everything is alright but how can I have that much faith when the one person that gives me all the strength I have is bleeding out on that bed?
I don’t think I can survive in this world without him.
I don’t want the family without him.
I will never be happy without him.
I wish I could still feel him, know that at the end of everything, our souls are still connected but right now, I don’t feel anything.
I don’t feel him at all.