Chapter 519
Beau
I watch Lanis walk out of the room with his phone pressed to his ear and I can’t help but smile at how in awe I am of him.
I reach for Colm and he stops crying the second he catches sight of me. His eyes open wide and that look of confusion and curiosity is back on his face. Sometimes, I feel like whenever they are looking at me, they can feel the love I have for them. Like somehow, we are connected.
As if I could reach into their soul and see the real them; the real Colm and Colin. My babies. The loves of my life. I didn’t know I could feel this much for anyone. The love I have for them is different from the one I have for Lanis. I don’t even know how I can explain it. There is equality in the love but somehow, it is different too.
Lanis is strong on his own but stronger with me. My babies are not strong on their own. They need me to be their strength and I will give it all to them.
I will let my guard down for them, fight for them, be there for them.
Thanks to Lanis, I feel more from life. I have a reason to live. I have something to fight for.
I don’t even think I say it enough.
Tell him how much my life would have sucked without him.
He gave me meaning.
He gave me purpose.
Fuck, I am in my head again.
I go into this place where gratitude is all I feel. I am grateful for all the things I have. Grateful for how far I have come in my life.
The door opens and he walks in with a serious expression on his face “Is everything okay?’’ I ask him because I only want to see smiles on his face. He walks over to the other crib and I watch him as he smiles at a sleepy Colin.
“Just issues with Gyles and Blue,’’ he answers my question. He looks away from the crib and to me. A slow smile sprawls on his face as he takes a step towards me. I look away from him for a second, Colm is slowly drifting back to sleep.
“So do you want to talk about it?’’ I ask him quietly, so as to not wake the babies. He shakes his head “Put him back in bed, we can talk in the room.’’ he says. We walk over to the crib and I place him gently in the bed. I look at him and he is still smiling, it makes me feel warm all over and I give him a quick kiss on the forehead.
I take one last look at our babies and he grabs my hand in his and pulls me out of the room.
I follow him back to our room and he opens the door, putting his finger up to his lips, he gestures for me to enter.
We both enter the room and he shuts the door a little too loudly “Shit,’’ he covers his mouth. “I don’t want them to wake up,’’ he confesses.
I turn to him and he lowers his eyes. His face is flushed. He wants me to do something but he is hesitant.
I get closer to him and wrap my arms around his waist. I pull him towards me and he lets himself fall forward effortlessly against me. His head is on my shoulder and I can feel his soft lips touching my neck.
Out of nowhere, an urge to kiss him comes over me. I lean forwards and kiss him; it is soft and sweet. He kisses my neck and I can feel my insides turning. I kiss him harder, slowly at first and then as his body starts responding. He pulls back and looks at me with those gorgeous eyes.
“Wait,” he manages out of breath. My heart is thudding in excitement. I like where this is going and I don’t want to stop. I pull my head back in frustration and his smile widens.
“I love you,’’ he says softly. “I love you so much. Have I told you that today?’’ he asks still breathing heavily from our make-out session.
“Yes, you have.’’
He nods his head and then lets go of me. I am on the verge of having blue balls right now. He just basically teased me and now he is pulling away from me.
“Great, I just need you not to forget that. Never forget it.’’
I don’t know the conversation he had with Gyles but something must have triggered this. “Come on,’’ he grabs my hand again and pushes me to the bed.
I fall flat on my back and he giggles as he gets on top of me. “You’re such a flirt’’ I laugh. He grinds into me and my dick hardens instantly.
Fuck Lanis.
This is making me hard. He moves his hands to my waist and starts stroking me through my pants. I let him pull them down and then he pushes them off my legs.
I reach for him but he shakes his head immediately.
“No touching me, I want to worship you tonight,” he whispers into the night sky. Not touch him?
Can I even resist the urge?
He takes off his shirt, pulling it over his head. I like the view. His chest is solid and defined and his abs are rock hard. His skin is smooth and pale, just the way it has always been.
He is smiling again and he looks like he is loving every minute of this. I love the view too and I love to see him happy. He moves his hands up my chest until he is cupping my face.
“Beautiful, so beautiful,’’ he murmurs. He stares at me, his eyes roaming around my face, looking at me like he has never seen me before.
He kisses me softly on the lips. He kisses over my nose and slowly kisses up my face. When he reaches my lips, he lifts my arms until my hands are on his waist and he leans over me.
He kisses me gently on the lips, he kisses deeply and I can taste myself on his lips. My mouth opens and he slides his tongue inside and we both moan in the pure joy of it.
He slowly moves his face to the crook of my neck “I fucking love you, Beau.” His words are from the bottom of his heart.
They are real.
Just like the love I have for him.
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